A
male
age
51-59,
*onfusedLikeWTF
writes:I find myself in a very strange position, some envy it, some think wtf - no way, others think how stupid are you.I work in a job that ive done for 20 or more years, now at a stage where bar the pennies i would walk away and have tried to do so on many occasions over the last 3 years.I drive up and down the country, stop over in different locations, I also have a hip problem which was caused by falling out of a ceiling onto a large safe door.So heres the problem, and I think most people can see this coming but perhaps not in the way you think.Me unhappy in work and in life, very unhappy, a relationship thing begins at work, then one starts elsewhere and then and then and then some more.Now somehow, I juggle four or more loving relationships - all of which are sometimes full on.Each and every one is amazing in their own right, and the vast majority of the time its brill, fantastic - so why do I feel so depressed, why is there a need like this.I do also work perhaps some 60-70 hours a week, the driving is on top of this, the loving on top of all of this.And Im a middle aged man, is this my mid life crises ?Two of the ladies are much much younger than me, what they see in me I never know, and everyone more or less knows about everyone else.So anyone know how to sort this lot out ?And more over I dont actually know what I want, perhaps I do but perhaps I shouldnt want it.
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male
reader, ConfusedLikeWTF +, writes (11 February 2011):
ConfusedLikeWTF is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the comments, it is appricated.
Over the last year, feelings have all got out of hand, stepping back would of course be the answer.
Leaving my job and walking away would be good, but none of this I ever seem to be able to do.
I do really love all of these ladies in completely different ways, and each and every one of them are truely amazing, and over the last four months or so, they do want more, we (I myself included) do want a fuller relationships.
Of course nothing is ever that simple, I think I am in love with one of these ladies, whom I shouldnt be in love with, she has a long term boyfriend and their is an age difference.
Another one who loves me very dearly and I her, cant be with me, shes married, she also has periods of time being ill due to health issues.
I can see why middle age men just get up and walk.
I know what I should do, its to drop everyone, leave my job, walk away and then start afresh but that would mean hurting so many people.
Family, friends, loved ones, those who love me and im really not that mean, perhaps im mean for allowing this.
And perhaps I am more depressed than I realise.
Im hopefully going to talk to the people I work with today over the hours I work, Its harder still when you part own the company you work for.
I do truely appricate peoples comments and support.
Thank you.
A
female
reader, coolbeans  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Sounds like you are using these women and your demanding job to fill a void in your life. It may not be that you want a relationship to ease your depression. I would seek help regarding your depression.
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A
female
reader, stronger89 +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Personally I think its selfish to put those woman thru that, if they know about eachother and are ok with it then I see no harm there. but its really heart breaking to be cheated on because I have been and know how it feels. and honestly I think you are unhappy with yourself is why your seeking all these woman. because they all make you happy in a diffrent way. keep your head up and try to seek one who makes you happy. maybe cut some work and have some fun. that will help with stress. hope everything gose well. being true and honest can make things alot less stressful:)
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 February 2011):
 The women all know about eachother and they are ok with it?
Maybe you feel that none of the relationships is special or meaningfull because it's all a bit casual. Your like a petrol tanker, going round filling up these women...whichever way you look at it, if they all know about eachother, none of them is fighting to have you be exclusive to them and that can leave you feeling very superficial indeed. It's a bit like prostitution, but your not getting paid.
If you felt happy and sure of yourself with these liasons, then it wouldnt be a problem at all...but you feel depressed because deep down you arn't really truly happy with the set up.
Sometimes you need to be completely alone so you can come back down to earth and re-evaluate your life...only then will your true wants and feelings rise to the surface.
Hope you find a solution.
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