A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. and In October before halloween we had broke up. For a while he made me believe that he wanted to be single and have fun with his friends, but comes to find out he got someone at his work that he works with pregnant. This person he got pregnant had already had an experience of being married before and has a child from her ex husband. Since the day I had found out he got this person pregnant I had been really devastated. For the first 2 months in the period of her pregnancy he kept begging me to be there for him and to be strong about the situation making me believe that there is faith in us to get back together once his baby comes. Now it seems he doesn't love me anymore and he tells me that he has to always stay with her because she has no one to take care of her, but I believe he was just lying to me all this time. His family told me that he had helped this person plan their baby and that he loves the person and wants to live with the person. But when he cried so many times in front of me, I always believed his tears are for real. Now I am scared that maybe one day he might come back to me to ask for forgiveness and want to be with me. I know I am never going to find a guy that I loved the way I loved him and a guy that I had a lot of stuff in common with. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): To start with, don't be so defeatist - you can meet another nice guy, give yourself a chance. You are being done a favour, this guy is prepared to get a girl pregnant and now he has to live with the consequences. Tough. Move on, please. I feel he has been an idiot, but you can move on and make a good life for yourself. Honestly, I despair of the number of times I've heard girls say 'but he was The One, I'll never meet anyone like him again'. YOU WILL. If you give yourself a chance.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Honey, wake up!
He was either already sleeping with her before your "break" or he decided to have a "break" with you so he could sleep with her.
Either way, the first thing he did after getting a break was having unprotected sex.. lovely
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (27 January 2011):
Hey I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You've been treated REALLY badly and quite rightly you are hurt and upset by it.
Let me promise you this though, you WILL move on and you WILL find someone else. Someone who is actually a million times better than this current guy.
When you do stop wanting this guy you're going to totally change your perception on this. He's going to be stuck with this kid, and you're going to be free from it all - free to start again without any baggage holding you back.
Stay strong, make all the efforts you can to move on with your life and BOOKMARK this page so that in a years time you can look back at how sad you were at this time and how much your life changed when you allowed it to. Everything WILL be ok, I have completely faith in you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
Of course you'll find someone else. The idea you won't is the feeling that you have at the moment because rather than choose to cut this guy out, you've pandered to him a bit and he's got you a bit wrapped up.
The fact is, it appears as if this guy cheated. You said he'd gotten her pregnant at work, and that was the real reason you'd broken up. So he wasn't that great. Also, if he had cheated and gotten her pregnant, then he probably wasn't using protection, meaning he was putting your sexual health a risk. Then he begged you to stay around, claiming there was a chance you' get back together. Surprise, there wasn't. And his family have now turned against you in favour of this woman (probably for respectability reasons).
You can find someone far better than this! But what you now need to do is get away from him as far as you can. You'll forever be second to the mother of his child, and you may have problems accepting his child.
I think you should move on and find a better class of guy.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (27 January 2011):
 I think he lied to you too and I also thing he has no idea what the heck he is doing.
I really do feel for you, it must be a complete shock that things changed so quickly. Despite how much you love him, he has messed up big time and he has a lot of responsibilities and obligations to attend to before he even thinks about you.
I know that sounds rough, but he made his bed and now he has to lay in it.
You could hang around and see what happens but there is no guarantee that he will come back to you...and if he did...would you really want him back being as he lied and is involved with someone else?
Love is a funny thing, it can drive us to stay with someone even though they treat us badly and get into a mess. Love has a lot to answer for. If you do stay around him and he does come back, how can you ever really trust that he won't go off and make someone else pregnant? Also if you stay with him, you are going to have to take on the mother of his child (because he will have to support her financially) and also his child. It's a very tough call and if you are going to forgive him, you have to be prepared to suck up all the pain an not throw things back in his face because doing that would be pointless.
My gut would say move on and get over it...but the emotional part of me knows you will think of the love and want to hang on, despite what happens.
I don't envy your choice but I think you should put your own wellbeing and happiness first.
Good luck xxx
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