A
female
age
,
*eresa 1955
writes:my fiance has been online cheating for at at least a month with some woman in another country they have shared i love you and he said she is special and listens where I supposedly failed to do and he says all I ever thought of was myself, i cooked cleaned did his laundry he drove my car and I made my kids mad at me several times for taking his side yet he claims I never gave him any consideration. Things financially have been rough and I did all I could to keep food on our table and pay our house payment utilities etc,,,, I didnt ask for much and got rid of some material things when times got rough due to the finances NO I am not perfect but did what I thought was right of me but he ran to the internet to this woman who is 20 younger than him and she has 5 year old twins and she has been divorced 3 times and lives over 5000 miles from the U S, it would cost him at least $1000 just to fly there which I know he doesnt have that kinda money to spend on a plane ticket. he also suffers with depression and stopped taking his meds for the depression when he started talking to her. I am so mad and so hurt and every time I try to talk to him he makes sure he blames me for being this bad evil person that he never once accused me of being til I found out about this internet affair. We do have a house we bought together and we were planning marriage this year now this after all we planned and buying the house? I dont get it nor do our friends family and church family but he wants to stay here with me and he interacts with me like nothing is wrong and I should still be cooking and other things for him as I did before,, only thing we do not share the bed anymore he sleeps on the couch now. He also says he wouldnt be with her because she has twins and she is too young and yet they call each other and talk online on facebook while I am either watching tv or gone or even doing dishes or cooking. I think its so rude for him to talk to her with me right in the same area he has a computer at work thats where this all started when he got access to a computer I couldnt get on to check his browser histories. I really need advice he hugged me and kissed me on my head yesterday and it makes me so upset to think he is doing all this talking to these women and yet wants to be here with me he also said he loves me still but not in love thanks !!!
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affair, at work, divorce, facebook, fiance, I love you, money, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): You have given him everything and he is taking advantage of you. Kick his ass to the curb and show him that you are worth more than his BS. And STOP doing his laundry and cleaning up for him. He's not worthy.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 When you think about it logically he must be lying to his internet woman. Has he told her that he is living with you and that you are practically his wife?...or has he made up some balony to keep her interested just so he can have a swift fix of his fantasy.Whatever he is saying...it isn't going to be the total truth is it?
The guy is using and abusing you. He is living a total lie and the internet gives him a perfect forum. Eventually, this woman is going to want to see some action from him. She will only listen to his 'I love you's' for so long before she will expect him to make a move...and lets be honest...that aint gonna happen is it?
The guy needs a short sharp kick up the tush with the 'reality' boot. He is totally taking you for a fool and expecting you to stand back while he does his little cyber love thing...and expecting you to wait on him at the same time!! Does he work?, does he contribute financially?...if he don't, then you can definitely survive on your own without this selfish idiot in your life. I think it's time for an ultimatum...this isn't about him testing his love for you...it's about him taking the piss out of you and living in a dream world.
You need to tell him that unless he quits the dumb behaviour, gets back on his meds and starts showing you some commitment and respect, then he is out on his ass!!!
Either way, you are never going to be happy until you deal with this.
Good luck and my heart goes out to you xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): He has no respect for you. He wants a maid and a back-up in case his online relationship doesn't work out. Do yourself a favor and separate from him. Enrich your life without him.
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A
male
reader, unabletofly  +, writes (23 February 2011):
You know, mans sometimes could do this kind of things.
He may give up after a nice converisation by you but i guess you should kick his ass and left him.
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