I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 21 December 2016: I think you need to be sure if you are wanting to get married or not. Sorry but for me it would not be enough you wanting to marry me because it is part of my culture. It is clear to see that you are not ready for marriage. That is okay. It is clear ... (read in full...)
Take a job I don't want just to keep in contact with a crush?
Q. Hi I'm Sam and I'm 17 years old. I have been working at a bar in the UK temporarily over the Christmas period. I was hoping that after this temporary spell, I would be offered the job permanently. However at the my shift last night, my boss spoke to ...
A. 21 December 2016: Glad to hear that you took the job. Teenagers should know the value off money and how important it is to earn your own. Good for you. Also good luck with the girl. Get some mistletoe. ... (read in full...)
I need my husband's physical attention!
Q. Hi cupids, in May this year my what was to me perfect world crashed. I was hospilised for what we thought was a stroke, (I'm 37) however after many many tests I have a neurological condition which is called hemipligic migraines, which after an ...
A. 21 December 2016: I am sorry that your world has been turned upside down, and I would also bet my life on it that his has been as well. He wants to get you better, he loves you. He want's you to be healthy again. He is scared off being intimate with you in case it ... (read in full...)
Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 21 December 2016: Are you sure this man is single? I mean a lot of bus drivers are very flirty, it is all part of their job description to have a bit off banter with passengers. Sure write him a card but don't ask him on a date. ... (read in full...)
Is my supervisor falling for me?
Q. Hello, There is a supervisor at my job who I would always have small talk with and she's very accommodating when I ask her for something work wise. Sometimes I'm so busy I don't get the time to talk to her. I can admit that I do find her attract...
A. 21 December 2016: Hmm from what you have wrote I think she is trying to let you know she is your supervisor and nothing more. She was friendly you thought oh she is attractive. You probably gave off some signs and now she is avoiding you like the plague because she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop going on about an instagram post!
Q. I've completely lost the plot with my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I overreacted. I'm trying really hard to think of things from his point of view but it's difficult. My friend's daughter commented on one of my photos on Instagram that h...
A. 21 December 2016: I am glad that you ended things with him, I was also very shocked when you said he was 40 and not 15. He needs to grow up and learn that he cannot treat women in that way. It is disgusting. He is insecure and paranoid and am glad you have ended it. ... (read in full...)
We disagree about matter of religion! Any advice?
Q. Hi everyone! I thought it might be a good idea to hear some impartial opinions on an issue I have been dealing with in my relationship. So my boyfriend and I are both Christian, though I only decided to be baptized when i was 14 while he ...
A. 21 December 2016: I think most children when they are born they are to follow there parents religion. Now that is not my opinion just an observation. You seem to have a very strong opinion on this matter, which leads me to think that you and your partner will never ... (read in full...)
Do I make contact with his other child's mother?
Q. Hi there I getting in contact because I don't knowwho else to ask.I am with a guy for less then a year we have a child a little boy whose a month old well anyway he got a daughter who is 5 yes old who he doesn't see because he said the mother Wouldn...
A. 21 December 2016: You fell pregnant fairly quickly so I can see why you are having these doubts. The thing is you only have his side off events, so it is one sided. However I don't think you should go meddling in his past, that is his business. I do think you rushed ... (read in full...)
The LDR visit is not going well and I'm completely lost as to what to do!
Q. Hi, I'm currently 8 months in to a LDR, (we're separated by 10000 miles) and I've just arrived at hers two days ago for a three week visit. The problem I now have is that from the moment I landed she's been off, we've had a chat and she's now to...
A. 21 December 2016: I need to ask how long where you both together before you both went to a long distant relationship? Or did this start LD? As 8 months is not a long time, and it is such a long distance it must be difficult to keep that relationship going. So I do ... (read in full...)
Have I completely disrespected my boyfriend, when I had no intention of doing that?
Q. I went out on an unexpected night out with a work friend on Friday. We thought we'd just get a bite to eat and a few drinks after work but we ended up having one too many and never got home until 2:30am. We had dinner and went to a few bars. ...
A. 21 December 2016: So how did things go with your friend then at work? Did you speak about it and do you feel better now?
You need to remember drink is a depressant and if you felt you where out off line, after drinking everything seems a lot worse. You didn't do a hu... (read in full...)
Is he a keeper? After all the white lies I'm starting to doubt my partner of 6 years.
Q. Hi there, thanks for looking :) - I'll try to keep this brief! I've been with my partner for 6 years, living together for 2. I'm 24 and he's 26, and we are usually very close. He's actually a super sweet guy - all my friends think so, and hes kind...
A. 21 December 2016: I don't think he sets out to hurt you, I just think he knows deep down that he has issues with alcohol so he tries to cover it up, because that is what alcoholics do. I mean who goes to the pub half way through work for a drink? Sweetie he is on a ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? If I walk away from this, then what if I never meet anyone else who will love me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a bit years and we've lived together just over a year. We've just put down a deposit on our first home together and everything should be great but I have doubts. My boyfriend used to be so sweet an...
A. 21 December 2016: If you are having doubts then there is a reason behind that. Yes relationships do change. But sometimes people get stuck in a rut and they need to work their way out of it. You need to ask yourself is buying a home together what you want? Can you ... (read in full...)
Four dates and now we're about to be away from each other for 20 days. How should I handle this extended break from her?
Q. I've been on four dates with a girl I met on tinder over the last two weeks who is starting to really grow on me and I feel butterfly's in my stomach whenever we hang out together. I feel like we've taken things slow and that's super OK with me....
A. 21 December 2016: I am sorry that you got friend zoned, it is never nice when it happens, and it is even worse just before Christmas. Could it be that you fall for a girl much to quick? I mean four dates is not long, and my guess is that she felt you where moving a ... (read in full...)
I feel as though everything in my life is slowly falling apart. But how can I start to address these issues?
Q. Where did it all go wrong? :( I've never had a large circle of friends but I was happy on my last year a total school, having roughly about 5-7 friends whom I spoke with daily. As we all parted for our next journey, we lost touch. I now only sp...
A. 21 December 2016: You could see it as being stuck with your parents or you could see it has being lucky to have them in your life.
Off course life is difficult at times. It is perfectly normal to feel alone and depressed around Christmas time when you have no part... (read in full...)
I want respect. I packed up and left him after he disregarded our agreement - but how can I demonstrate or convince that I'm not trying to be controlling?
Q. Before I got with my boyfriend I knew he took drugs; weed and cocaine. I really don't like it so when we first started dating I asked how we would work in a relationship, how would we ever live together as I don't want it around me. He assured ...
A. 21 December 2016: Look he does drugs, it is part off him, he is not wanting to give it up. Therefore if you still want to be with him then you need to accept that. You cannot ask him just to do it behind your back. Why should he if that is what he wants to do with ... (read in full...)
What shall I put on my ex- husband's headstone?
Q. My ex- husband passed away two years ago, he was a doctor and I am going to order his headstone. I am not sure what to put on because we were divorced. I am re-married again. We remained good friends. He did not really have any family just two cous...
A. 21 December 2016: Keep it simple but endearing. I also think what Andies thoughts says is great.... (read in full...)
For the sake of my daughter, should I stay with a man who has just told me that "he wishes I was dead" ? l
Q. i dropped my fiance off at a work christmas party so he could drink if he wanted to and so he wouldnt have to worry about the snowstorm. he was going to call an uber at 11 so itd be there for sure by 12. that was the plan. i go home, fall asleep t...
A. 21 December 2016: Do you trust him? Because I wouldn't. What was his excuse for not being home? Where did he stay? Who with. He showed signs off aggression to you, but also he brought up the topic off cheating and accused you, which would make me think that he was up ... (read in full...)
I always end up forgiving people who offend me
Q. Hello :). I have a question. I wonder, no matter how much I get angry to those people who offend me, I always end up on forgiving them. I remember this one situation when one of my friends had a fight and to my extreme shock I was involved and I wa...
A. 21 December 2016: Most people do deserve a second chance. But I do believe forgiveness is important. It is a good quality to have and well done for having it. However there can be a fine line between that and having people walk all over you, so you do also need to ... (read in full...)
Are FWB supposed to be this attached?
Q. We didn't have sex. We cuddled and made out. No hj or bj, no touching of my bottom private either. He was being extremely sweet (interlock fingers, kissing forehead, cheeks, palm, etc) but I dump that as an act of fwb. I didn't text him the fol...
A. 21 December 2016: It does sound like he has developed feelings for you. Now I wonder what it is you feel for him? Do you want more than FWB? If you don't then I think you need to end this as he is only going to end up heartbroken, and the longer you leave it the ... (read in full...)
Is it my fault I can't make a man love me?
Q. There are numerous books titled, "Make any man fall in love with you," or "Make any man want you" with things explaining how to make it happen. I haven't ever tried the advice from these books on anyone yet. These books make it seem like making...
A. 21 December 2016: You cannot make anybody fall for you. I don't believe these books. However I do believe some books can allow you to gain more confidence and give you more hope. They may 'teach' you how to date. But not all men are the same when it comes down to it ... (read in full...)
Is he lazy or am I expecting too much?
Q. My bf and I are in a long distance relationship, we met online about 5 months ago. I visited him twice and he is coming down to see me very soon. Before I met up w/him, we texted and vid chatted. When we are physically together, the fe...
A. 21 December 2016: The thing is he is no good at keeping in contact long distance, so this rules out a long distant relationship. You both need to work out what the next step is. Are you moving close together? Have you set a date? Is this long term or short term?
I... (read in full...)
I really hate my name
Q. My birth name is Sarah, and it makes me sick. This is a trivial problem compared to some of the things people are dealing with, but I REALLY hate the name. I'm not a kid going through a phase. Ever since I can remember, I have always resented ...
A. 21 December 2016: You are being a drama queen. However taking that to one side. Just change your name legally, get the documents, change all legal avenues. Then tell all your friends and family. Stop answering to the name Sarah and live your life.... (read in full...)
I want him to be more assertive in bed
Q. I'm going out with someone who's very quiet during sex and it turns me off. I sort of like this person, but in bed, while I'm sucking him he just stays there, eyes closed like a Buddha ( and he takes forever to come, like 30 plus minutes, Is that ...
A. 21 December 2016: I guess he is just not comfortable making noise or being rough in bed. It is not a bad thing, I just think it means that you are not sexually compatible.
I guess now the decision lies with you, do you stay with him or do you end things and be with... (read in full...)
'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'
Q. Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...
A. 21 December 2016: Have you made a decision then? ... (read in full...)
How can I be so hung up on someone I barely know?
Q. I'm finding things really hard. It's just who I am but I seem to get so hung up on people. Recently met a guy and had a really great first date. He asked me to his for our second date and he cooked a meal for me. It was really great and i didn...
A. 21 December 2016: Taking you to his house on a second date is not cool, especially if you are not wanting to be used for sex. Where you both intimate?
It sounds like you are more interested than he is, did he try anything with you at his home?
I think you are over... (read in full...)
How do I play this?
Q. I have this co-worker and I like her but the huge problem is she is also dating and has a child with another co-worker. They have been dating for a while. So, anyway they are going through a rough patch and thats putting it very loosely. Well, ...
A. 21 December 2016: Sounds to me like she thinks off you as a friend. She may also be sussing you out to see if she can use you as bait to annoy her other half and make him fight for her. Honestly don't fall in to her honey trap. Because you are the one that will get ... (read in full...)
There is this older woman I'd like to have sex with ...
Q. I'm 24. There's a woman I work with who's in her late 40's, divorced, still pretty attractive, and friendly with me. I've never been with a woman that much older than me before. I'd be interested to experience sex with her. Her oldest son is almost ...
A. 21 December 2016: Dangerous territory when it is someone you work with. Plus she is probably old enough to not want a quick hook up with someone so young. I could be wrong, but usually older women want something more. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't control his intake of alcohol
Q. Ok so I have been seen this guys for almost 4 years now. On and off at first (we broke up 4 times and both went looking somewhere else. But would still kept in contact and talk about who we have been sleeping with, then have sex together. Unless one ...
A. 21 December 2016: If he cannot accept that he has a problem with alcohol then there is nothing that can be done. He needs to help himself. Off course you can ask him to give up alcohol but if he does it or not is a different story.
You need to accept that if he goes... (read in full...)
Does it matter that I don't like the present my boyfriend has got me for Christmas? It was bought online, should he have made more of an effort?
Q. Hey guys, thanks for looking at my question- I'll try to keep this brief! :) So I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we live together now. Anyway we both work full time but still agreed to a cheaper Christmas than usual - we would ...
A. 21 December 2016: Maybe go out on the sales on boxing day and see if there are any nice disney mugs and treat yourself? Look sometimes women over think gifts. They wonder why there other half has not spent more time or made more effort. But mainly men just see ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him he is not the only string to my bow?
Q. A distant friend of mine has decided he would like to go on a few dates with me , the thing is hes said this before and had to cancel last minute. we were due to go on a date tonight but he cancelled again saying he has to work . fair enough he ...
A. 21 December 2016: I wouldn't play games with him to be honest. There really is no point. He is showing you quite clearly that he has no interest. Three cancelled dates speak for that alone. He is only talking to you to pass time and maybe keep you as an option if ... (read in full...)
My inappropriate boss or My boss wants to grab my ass
Q. Hello everyone! I'm in a bit of a pickle. Naturally, I'm a very bubbly energetic person. I hate awkwardness so I do my best to make fun of myself and include others. Especially at work considering, everyone can be so stiff at times. I got ...
A. 21 December 2016: Best thing to do is have a quiet word with him. It does sound like this is inappropriate on both sides. So remember to try and be more professional and less chummy and ask him to keep his hands to himself.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to schedule a family picture session during a friend’s wedding weekend? We are paying our own way!
Q. Sorry this question isn't really dating related...but I used to come here years ago before I got married and couldn't think of any other advice columns. I will keep it short. Wedding etiquette... we're going to be in Florida late winter for a fri...
A. 21 December 2016: As long as you are not planning it for there wedding day then I don't see the problem. If it is not taking you as guests away from anything planned for there wedding then no harm. ... (read in full...)
We’re the same age but she says I’m too young for her! Do I persevere or do I take that as she's not interested?
Q. Hey guys wondering whether I could have some help. After finishing a bad relationship 2 years ago, I bump into a friend from school i haven't seen in years. We end up getting on really well and going out on a few dates, all of which have been ...
A. 21 December 2016: If she is telling you that you are to young then it is probably because she prefers dating older men. You can try and woo her and turn around her decision, the only danger with that is in case you fall for her and then end up hurt. It is your choice ... (read in full...)
Future with my in-laws looks looks set to wreck my forthcoming marriage
Q. hi.. is there anybody here living in their in-laws house after marry? who got controlling and self-minded mother in law? im going to marry next year. we are Asian and it's a tradition for us to live with in laws after marry especially if th...
A. 21 December 2016: Without all the stress off your living arrangements do you think you both would still be arguing all the time? It sounds to me like you both should not be getting married. You both want different things. He does not show you love. You argue all the ... (read in full...)
Can't get over his cheating on me
Q. A relationship of a year ended at the beginning of June. I talked to him before we parted way and felt like I got the closure that I needed. I got over it quite quickly and starting seeing other people. It only just so happens that I ended up on ...
A. 21 December 2016: You cannot be sure that he cheated on you so there really is no point opening up a can off worms. He moved on quickly as did you now you need to block his social media, stop snooping and carry on with your life.... (read in full...)
Am I settling? I'm 24 years old. Is it asking too much, to want more than this?
Q. I've been cooped up in the house for months on end and he doesn't bat an eye about it. He never takes me out or does anything with me besides eat sleep and watch movies. That's it that's all we ever do literally. I mean everyone works so wh...
A. 21 December 2016: Honestly if you feel you are bored then I think it is time you consider ending things as it sounds like you are both not compatible. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust this man?
Q. I had an emotional affair with him and he left his wife and adult kids for me and mine. Which at first felt great. But then suddenly he lied to me saying he was going away for the weekend for Manchester, UK with his sons to try and get them on his ...
A. 19 December 2016: He wanted sex from you nothing else, he wants to be with his family, that much is clear yes he will leave you for them, he has form, they mean more to him than you.... (read in full...)
My husband says I am controlling and that everything has to be my way
Q. My husbands company decided not to have a Xmas party this year. Which we were both very happy about. Then today they decided 6 days from now it would be a good idea to have a small party with just the office people. I simply asked my husband if we ...
A. 19 December 2016: You no what don't go with him, let him go enjoy himself alone. I would hate to miss my Christmas night out so let him go by himself and enjoy himself.... (read in full...)
I showed him proof that his dating profile was active again it disappeared within minutes and now he's trying to tell me he didnt do anything
Q. Hi and thanks for your time and advice in advance. Been seeing a guy for a few months, been really good. Had a huge row which I think he was over reacting about and we hadn't spoken after over night. I then discover his profile on the dating site ...
A. 19 December 2016: My guess is that you had a arguement so he went online, you saw it he denied it. I would not judge him so closely on this if you trust him. But do talk to him and ask for the truth... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying and cheating on me?
Q. I've been in a relationship now with a man 15 years my junior for 11 years now and with every new year looming I start to question my future with him. I run my own business, am captain of the local golf club, have great friends and two daughters ...
A. 19 December 2016: You are a secret because he is always on the look out for better. The best thing you can do it's end it as he is not serious about you and never will be.... (read in full...)
Could it be more than friendship?
Q. Me and my best friends ex have been rather flirty with each other for a couple of months now; we got pretty drunk one night in a evening establishment and very nearly kissed, although one doesn't remember who really initiated it and it has not been ...
A. 19 December 2016: You are a terrible friend. Why entertain this with a friends ex? He obviously means nothing to you if you risk hurting him so much... (read in full...)
Am I settling? I'm 24 years old. Is it asking too much, to want more than this?
Q. I've been cooped up in the house for months on end and he doesn't bat an eye about it. He never takes me out or does anything with me besides eat sleep and watch movies. That's it that's all we ever do literally. I mean everyone works so wh...
A. 16 December 2016: You say the only time you go out is alone? Why not go out with friends, socialize , be adventurous and then tell him all about it when you get home?!
Sweetie it looks to me like this is who he is. He likes his home comforts and doesn't seem to want... (read in full...)
'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'
Q. Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...
A. 9 December 2016: Me personally I would not want to share my partner with anyone. I would not be able to handle it and it would ruin our relationship. I guess it is personal preference. Just be completely sure you are 100% with it, as threesomes break up ... (read in full...)
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