A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had an emotional affair with him and he left his wife and adult kids for me and mine. Which at first felt great. But then suddenly he lied to me saying he was going away for the weekend for Manchester, UK with his sons to try and get them on his sie, but I found out he actually went to Liverpool with them and also his wife sleeping with her in the process. - I feel so betrayed by him.He now has re-dumped her and come back to me and us. But I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him. I don't trust him to go out on his own. Everytime he does I feel he is seeing his kids. I've caught him texting his sons behind my back. He does to the toilet and does it in secret. His son says he is a narcissist that has had many affairs and flings behind his mother's back over the years, and now I am terrified he'll do the same to me. His son also said he slated me and my family when he went back to them; calling us all scumbags and lowlifes, because we come from a somewhat poor family. He says he doesn't want to get divorced from his wife... of which I don't know why. He says he doesn't want to pay money for it and because he hasn't payed taxes over a number of years. He still pays their bills still, which annoys me, he shouldn't he doesn't live there anymore. But if and when he stops I am terrified his sons and wife will call the cops on him.He has also have cut contact with his family (mum, dad, stepdad) and literally all of his friend which he's known since his 20's. Is this behaviour normal? I scares me that he could dump me for someone else since he doesn't have much to give up with me.Help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2016): Okay first of all I want you to go and look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself do I deserve this..... is this all I'm worth....... the answer you should get is NO!!!
This guy is not the one for you no matter how hot how hung how nice he is a player and worse his wife knows about it. You need to get yourself together and find someone you deserve...... love lives in strange places but it sounds like this guy could possibly be on the run for something so is using you. Babes get your arse in action and find someone you can trust..... trust is a big thing you clearly don't have any trust hear so love yourself and move on x
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 December 2016):
 He wanted sex from you nothing else, he wants to be with his family, that much is clear yes he will leave you for them, he has form, they mean more to him than you.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (18 December 2016):
 You are young how much time are you going to waste on this waste of space, because that is what he is. I have two friends one was one like you and she waited around 7 years and the chap never left his wife. My other friend started seeing her man when she was 42 that was 25 years ago and she is still hoping he will leave his wife. Even when he told he that he could not stand to be in the same room as his wife and breathe the same air, and then got her pregnant TWICE. She is STILL waiting. How long are you going to wait? In answer to your question, no he cant be trusted. he will alway's put his wife and family first and you will always come second. I bet he would even put the family dog before you if it was a toss up between having to take the dog to the vet and seeing you, and that's NOT meant to be insulting to you.You are worth so much more than him. You deserve some one nice not him. You seem a lovely trusting person and that's the problem men like him prey on nice people like you. Some may say you are not nice because you are seeing a married man but you fell in love with him like my two friends. I understand that. It could happen to any of us. He is not nice really he is not nice. Please dump him and get your life back, you are wasting your life waiting for him. He has told you he does not want to divorce his wife he is paying no bills. I hope you find the strength and the courage to pack his bags and throw him out. Good luck and don't waste your life on this piece of scum x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 December 2016):
 When you say he left his wife and kids for you and yours, are you saying you also have children? As you have listed your age as early twenties your children must be quite young. Do you have custody?
What were the circumstances when you were talking/communicating with his son for him to tell you what his father is saying about you and your family?
It certainly sounds like he doesn't want to divorce his wife, and if he is having sex with her I hope she is insisting on condoms. AS for him continuing to pay bills etc well, what business of yours is what he spends his money on?
Personally I think you have made a bad decision, This man is not ready to leave the life he has with his wife, I doubt your relationship will last. It would be far better for you to call it quits now, rather than wait for the other boot to fall.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 December 2016):
 You got yourself a winner... *sarcasm*
He left his WIFE and KIDS for you and you felt great? What?
You think he won't CHEAT on you when he cheated on his wife? The woman he gave his vows to? The woman he had kids with? What makes YOU so special?
Of course, he will cheat on you ( in fact, he already did) and he will continue to do so.
He might have left his wife, but he is still paying her bills and he doesn't WANT to divorce. SO for him, it's more important to NOT pay taxes or give the wife 50% than fully commit to his mistress (you).
You get upset that he talks to his kids? Are you nuts? HE IS their FATHER. They will ALWAYS be part of him and his life and so will the WIFE. 1 because he is still married to her 2. He is paying all her bills and 3 he has KIDS with her.
I don't know what la-la land you live in to think that a MARRIED man who cheated with you would just forget his family and ride into the sunset. Who is the narcissist here?
Good luck with that mess. I feel sorry for your kids having to grow up with this kind of dysfunction and lack of common sense and morals.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2016): Your narrative is written from the woman's point of view but you post as a 22 - 25 year old male. So which is it?
I think you are the young man who posted recently about his narcissistic father who's run off with another woman.
So what's your real question?
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