A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm finding things really hard. It's just who I am but I seem to get so hung up on people. Recently met a guy and had a really great first date. He asked me to his for our second date and he cooked a meal for me. It was really great and i didn't want to leave. In my mind, I'm over cautious because I'm afraid he's only after sex and I want more than that. Some days we speak a lot and I'm so happy. The next day, he won't talk. We haven't spoken for a few days now and I'm really down about it. I just don't know where I stand. He says he's interested when I've asked. But I don't feel he is.I want to know him better and talk to find out more. But when he doesn't reply, it really hits me and I get all upset over it. It doesn't make sense because how can I be hung up on someone I barely know? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Taking you to his house on a second date is not cool, especially if you are not wanting to be used for sex. Where you both intimate?
It sounds like you are more interested than he is, did he try anything with you at his home?
I think you are over eager as you want to be with someone and you have pinned all your hopes on this guy. Not a great move really.
Get active stop texting him and see if he makes contact with you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 December 2016):
 You are hanging all your hopes of happiness on this guy. You need to get a busy social life, then you will not be sitting at home, just waiting for him to contact you.
I did cringe that, after one date, you felt it was ok to go to this guy's house. One date tells you NOTHING. Anyone can keep up a pretence for one date. This guy could have turned out to be dangerous and you were just willingly walking into his house. Please be careful.
Personally I think you are coming on a bit heavy, considering you have only met up a couple of times. At your age, you should be spreading your wings and dating different people to find out what is out there and what you want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2016): I feel we all do this because on the inside, we build the person up inside our head. We build a fantasy of what we want it to turn into and when we do this, we get hung up on the person. This is natural and only out of natural excitement and our hope for finally being able to love someone and be loved in return. The best thing to do is (even though it's REALLY REALLY hard) is to take this person for what they are so far. When I say so far, I mean, what they have shown you so far. Don't fill in the blanks for them with your imagination and fantasy. Just take it one day at a time and let things unfold naturally. As for him not talking to you for a few days, it's okay. It's only a few days, I would't overthink it. Just stay busy, keep your life vibrant and great, and if he texts, great. If he doesn't text after a week, screw him.
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