A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there I getting in contact because I don't knowwho else to ask.I am with a guy for less then a year we have a child a little boy whose a month old well anyway he got a daughter who is 5 yes old who he doesn't see because he said the motherWouldn't let him see her. I know of the mother she doesnt appear nuts and their last week at tbe traffic lights she beeped and waved at us. He ran away later she facebooked me but a week later block me. So my question is what do I do I mean he could do the sane to me or maybe he's telling the truth do I make contact with her or leave her
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 December 2016):
 You fell pregnant fairly quickly so I can see why you are having these doubts. The thing is you only have his side off events, so it is one sided. However I don't think you should go meddling in his past, that is his business. I do think you rushed in to things. But hopefully he does not leave you and your boy like he has his little girl. The mother may have stopped access but has he not heard of the courts? Has he not fought for his little girl?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2016): Any male who isn't actively involved in his daughter's life because he claims baby mama "wouldn't let him see her" isn't much of a father. He should be pursuing every legal avenue available to be in her life and I suspect he isn't do so because obtaining court-ordered visitation would also entail having to pay court-ordered child support. If you've been with him "less than a year" and have a month-old son, then you had a kid with a virtual stranger whom you now know to be an absentee father and very likely a deadbeat one as well. Since you're not married you're not legally related to your son's half-sibling and therefore have no reason to have any involvement with her mother. You are quite right, he could do the same to you and as such I would be preparing for the very real possibility that at some time in the not-too-distant future you'll be a single mother raising your son completely on your own. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (19 December 2016):
 I think that the problem here is that you barely know him and now you're attached for life. He could definitely do the same to you and you now have a child who may never be allowed to meet their sibling.
Ask your boyfriend what happened and why the children can't meet.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 December 2016):
 Before getting on contact with her directly I think it is important to sit down with your partner to discuss what your reasons are for wanting to get in contact and how best to approach things. What ever past they have, good bad or ugly, your child has a sibling. With that knowledge,I think, comes obligation to at least try to establish and foster that relationship. Children cant do that for themselves, that takes adults being adult about things. She may be crazy she may not. My take on it is, until you are given or make that opportunity happen then how do you find out? It would be great if he could get on board and support you, but if not, I still don't think you need to ask for his permission. But to do it behind his back is just setting yourself up for trouble.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 December 2016):
 I'd leave her be, she had blocked you for whatever reason, so why hound her?
And yes, he could do the same to you.
There is probably a good reason WHY she doesn't want to see the guy, like does he pay child support? Does his family know about the little girl? Was it a bad break up?
He actually ran away when she beeped and waved ? That is just weird.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2016): Seems a bit strange doesn't it? Some dubious men often will make out that the fault lies with their previous partner, but as she seems to have no problem, you have to ask what is going on here? Is it possible he got her to block you? They sometimes don't want you comparing notes cos then you'll find something out that maybe they don't want you to know. He may have told her a crazy story about you. If it was me, I would contact her to find out what the deal is. but be prepared that he may have told her things to make her wary of you.
Good luck
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