A
male
age
30-35,
*mooth Criminal
writes:I've been on four dates with a girl I met on tinder over the last two weeks who is starting to really grow on me and I feel butterfly's in my stomach whenever we hang out together. I feel like we've taken things slow and that's super OK with me. But I feel like this all might go away over the Christmas break as she is going away this week travelling somewhere with a friend.I'm stuck at work and when she comes back I'm away with my family celebrating Christmas and new year. The next time we can see each other is just over 20 days away. I feel in have to keep her interested in me because I would really like to continue seeing her and see what relationship plays out but i don't want to sound super needy texting or calling everyday and then it comes to what do we talk about for such a long period. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been in this situation before and any advice would be appreciated. As you can tell, my dating life is very inexperienced!Thanks so much!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 I am sorry that you got friend zoned, it is never nice when it happens, and it is even worse just before Christmas. Could it be that you fall for a girl much to quick? I mean four dates is not long, and my guess is that she felt you where moving a bit to quick for her. Maybe you need to try and slow things down and see if that helps. Merry Christmas and all the best for 2017.
A
male
reader, Smooth Criminal +, writes (21 December 2016):
Smooth Criminal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am genuinely thankful for all your responses, they made me feel more confident of the situation that things could continue to grow. Unfortunately I received the "friend zone" text, so naturally I'm a bit disappointed about things but thank you all nevertheless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2016): If it helps, I've been with my partner for 6 years and he used to be in the military. When we first met we had only 1 date (and also hung out a couple of times) then I didn't see him for two weeks because of him being in the military. We both really liked each other (though I guess this wasn't admitted at th time) and swapped my Christmas phone numbers, agreeing to meet up in two weeks.
I think you should do the same - don't overdo it but just give her a sweet text now and then to let her know you're thinking of her- that will certainly make a difference. If you're feeling confident you could even make plans to do something in 20 days time :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 December 2016):
 I think that if she makes you feel clingy and needy, she's not the one for you. You should be with someone who WANTS the texts you send, who are happy to read them and to reply back, and who is just as crazy about you as you are about her.
If the feeling isn't mutual, then I don't think it would have played out well even if you weren't going to be 20 days apart. When it's right you just know it. Or, at least to me that's how it works.
I mean, if you like her you show her, and that is by texting her and keeping in touch. If she likes you back (and Im thinking she does) she will text you back and neither of you will feel clingy. It'll just come natural.
And since you've only had fours dates and aren't in a relationship yet, calling each other or making plans on when to skype/call etc would be too much. Texting is really the only way to go about this, unless you manage to get the texts over on snapchat then you can send pictures to each other.
Once I was on a dating site and there was this guy who lives quite a bit away from me, but we hit it off through texts and then we moved on to snap, and we had great communication and flirting for two whole weeks because he wasn't unable to see me for all those days. But flirting still felt natural through texts, and when you have the right chemistry it just flows naturally.
Another time there was a guy on a dating site who also couldn't see me for two whole weeks, but he was slow on messages, and hardly ever replied, and I ended up just not being interested and we didn't meet. But I think the level of messages you send, how active you are about asking each other questions and taking an interest in each others lives, shows a lot about your level of interest in each other.
In other words, yes, you can keep this alive through text messages for 20 days! If you're interested in her, it will come naturally. And if she's interested in you in return, she will be happy to get texts and she will reply back.
If she doesn't reply back, then I don't think she was that interested in you to begin with. 20 days without each other isn't going to be the deciding factor here.
Congratulations btw, it's great to be in love!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 December 2016):
 Three weeks really isn't a long time.
If I were you I'd say something along the lines of 'I'll leave you to enjoy your time travelling but if you fancy a chat I'm available at any time'
And if she's interested I'm sure she will want to keep the contact up also.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 December 2016):
 Just ask if she's like to have a phone conversation every few days to talk catch up. 20 days isn't too long, when you've be only just met.
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