A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A distant friend of mine has decided he would like to go on a few dates with me , the thing is hes said this before and had to cancel last minute. we were due to go on a date tonight but he cancelled again saying he has to work . fair enough he might have to work but since hes done this twice before im thinking hes too scared to have an adult relationship. hes 39 and only had 1 girlfriend before that lasted 2 years and that ended 5 years ago .The issue i have is theres another guy also interested in me , he is away over xmas and has said itd be nice to meet up in the new year when hes back and we see how things go . Do i tell the guy who cancelled on me theres others interested in me - this will either make him pull his socks up and give him a jolt to make him get a move on ( he admitted he needs at times ) or make him back off , if he backs off ill know hes not fully interested in me. do i tell him or not ?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 I wouldn't play games with him to be honest. There really is no point. He is showing you quite clearly that he has no interest. Three cancelled dates speak for that alone. He is only talking to you to pass time and maybe keep you as an option if others fail.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2016): Before you play the game of sh*t or get-off the pot; decide which of these two you truly like most and have a chemistry with. Giving a guy a multitude of chances requires justification. Not games.
You don't need to bargain yourself off to any man. If he's man enough, he'll man-up without manipulation. Cancelling two dates is a put-off for me. I've had to cancel dates before; but I don't let people down without a valid explanation and a sincere apology. I make it up to them. I don't like being stood-up, and I regret to admit that I have stood people up before. That was because I realized something bad they've hidden from me, discovered I was being played, or that gut feeling that tells you something bad is about to happen. Even under those circumstances, you have to be honest and explain your actions.
I say, give the guy a chance who hasn't had a chance to prove himself. The first guy got it and blew it. No matter what he's feeling, he doesn't have the balls to show you.
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