A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello :). I have a question. I wonder, no matter how much I get angry to those people who offend me, I always end up on forgiving them. I remember this one situation when one of my friends had a fight and to my extreme shock I was involved and I was like "seriously? why am i getting involve. I didn't do anything." and they even ignored but not to the extent of ignoring me. You know, just like a kid's fight. I kind of hate them but when one of my friends who happen to be the person that I'm disappointed text something that I can't resist. She was having a hard time and all my anger and disappointment were vanished and I want to hug her and comfort her. Is it a good thing?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Most people do deserve a second chance. But I do believe forgiveness is important. It is a good quality to have and well done for having it. However there can be a fine line between that and having people walk all over you, so you do also need to have a strong head on your shoulders to be able to say to yourself this person is mistreating me it is time to stand up for myself!!
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 December 2016):
 In my opinion everyone (except people who harm others) deserve a second chance. After that, it depends on how often they need another chance. If they constantly need more chances, it's worth considering cutting them off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you soo much for the advice but honestly speaking, lots of people kept on telling me that those people I call "friends" are just taking advantage of my forgiving nature and I defend my friends for I know that they aren't like that but when that situation had happened, lots of people who knows me kept on telling something. They were like "Why waste your time to your so-called-friends? You know, there are lots of people who are better than them." then I was like "Oh well, everybody deserves a second a chance." and they were like "Sometimes, people doesn't deserve any second chances." So, it kinda triggers my mind and I almost believe on them but I kept on thinking that everything would be just fine :)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 December 2016):
I was severely bullied throughout my entire school life, but I knew what true sadness and loneliness felt like, so I always helped others, even if they were bullying me and went straight back to being nasty when they felt better. That's when you get taken advantage of, so try to limit your need to comfort people, if they still treat you like crap afterwards.
Forgiveness, however, is a good thing. All types of relationships have arguments because people aren't perfect. You just need to create a boundary for yourself as to when they keep being horrible and you limit or completely cut off your contact with them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2016): It is a very good thing.
You have the ability to put things in their proper perspective AND to consider and respect other persons' point of view. Believe me, very few adults have either of those qualities.
But there's a "but." Don't let people use your forgiving nature to take advantage of you. You can forgive people for their transgressions while still holding them accountable for their actions.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2016): Friendships are fluid and flexible just as life is.I would say that you realise that its nicer to have good times with friends than falling outs and quarrels.?This doeznt make you needy!In fact it means you are capable of being the better you.Its a good think to have instant warmth to your friends regardlezz of their faults.It gets sticky when itz a repeat occurrence.Like you being the only one to pay the bills and your 'friends' clearing off and leaving you to foot the bill.Or when boyfriends get confused between your 'friends' and you.Its important to be in control in your life and not just a friend helper so make sure you use some of your positive energy doing something for its owm pleasure eg an activity or pastime so that you feed yourself as well as your friends.In fact friends have to act as friends to dezerve the accolade!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 December 2016):
 There is no point in holding onto resentment and anger. It will just eat away at you and make you bitter. I bet you are far happier than people who hold grudges because you just live in the present and get on with life, forgetting and forgiving the past. After all, nobody is perfect.
The world would be a far better place if there were more people like you. Don't change. EVER.
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A
female
reader, froofroo22  +, writes (18 December 2016):
Forgiveness is always a good thing no matter what. If the person decides to not improve, however, it is completely your discretion on how much you want to limit your time with them. If they ask why you have grown distant, then explain why in a non-aggressive, non judgmental way that you had previously talked about what bothered you and that they had not chosen to improve on their mistake. People are always growing and changing and we cant hold grudges, or else that makes people feel like we've put them in a box with a label on it. That's not fair. Sometimes, we have to mess up multiple times to finally get it. You are doing the right thing by forgiving, but you are not obligated to spend copious amounts of time with them.
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