My ex and his girlfriend are making things so hard for me. I just want to move on. Help
Q. So Im a junior in high school now. Last year was horrible because my boyfriend of 2 years cheatd on me 8 times and left me for another girl. Him and that girl harassed me all year long. This year I was hoping for a fresh start but she still glares ...
A. 1 September 2010: Yeah, you should thank her for taking that cheating dog off your back. That would freak her out! You do not want to keep that guy of 2 years who cheated on you 8 times. They're both immature and deserve one another.
Don't talk to them, don't se... (read in full...)
She sees her guy friends more than she sees me
Q. My girlfreind is constantly putting me second best to her male and female freinds. she seems to think that i try and make her sit at home all day everyday whilst i work, but this isnt true. i dont mind her seeing her female freinds whenever she ...
A. 31 August 2010: You should end it for good, especially if you've already had the conversation with her and have tried to end things 3 times.
Also, she's having you pay for everything after 10 months? That's a bit extreme. If she's booking the restaura... (read in full...)
Bad experiences in the past with controlling men; how to shut this guy down without being rude?
Q. Hello readers. I would like some advice regarding what may seem as a trivial matter to some, however for me whether or not due to my past patterns of enabling men to control me etc I am aware that this is happening again, however I'm not sure how...
A. 31 August 2010: You just have to say "no" to him. For some reason, you equate refusal with rudeness, and that's been tripping you up.
Next time he wants you to put on the tea and chat with you, tell him you have other things to do. If he persists, tell him that... (read in full...)
He wants me to be a housewife without marrying me!
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 5 years. I moved about a year ago to where he lives to be with him. We've been living together for a year now. However, we are fighting a lot. We seem to disagree on a lot of things. He gets mad at me for not ...
A. 30 August 2010: I agree with everything said here.
I'd like to add something - you've been wanting out of this relationship for some time, but for whatever reason, be it you're too comfortable, or you both have shared friends, or what have you, you haven't ... (read in full...)
I am in love with a woman who is in love with a man that has passed away!
Q. i am in love with a woman that is in love with a guy that died in a car accident. She knows that i am in love with her and o told her to move on but she says that she doesn't want to forget him. What i have to do so that i get a chance with her? ...
A. 30 August 2010: *You* can't tell her to move on. She will always love that guy. You will have to learn to respect her history and feelings if you want any kind of a chance with her. What you need to do is not feel insecure or threatened by her connection to the ... (read in full...)
He cannot say, "I love you"!
Q. We have been living together for four years and he can not say I love you...
A. 28 August 2010: Four years, and he can't say it. That's a bit long.
How come you moved in with him if he hadn't told you he loved you? I'm guessing that he shows you that he loves you without saying the words.
It could be one of two things:
First... (read in full...)
She won't swallow!! Help!
Q. How after 5 years of great sex do I get my girlfriend to swallow? I return the faver to her in every way..oral sex, anal licking, she dose not like oral sex on her but she lets me preform it on her every so often and enjoys it most of the time. She ...
A. 28 August 2010: Wait a minute. You said she doesn't like oral sex, but sometimes she'll let you ejaculate in her mouth?? Let me ask you this - would YOU come in your own mouth? It's gross, especially if you've eaten anything but flour sandwiches. Garlic ... (read in full...)
How to practice kissing?
Q. I have never kissed anyone in my life and I am very nervous for my first one. Is there anything I can practice on for when it comes?...
A. 28 August 2010: Ahhh...I remember that feeling. Vintage is right that it will be okay when the time comes. In the meantime, think of your favorite movies, and study how the kissing took place there. What did you like best - the way she wrapped her arms around ... (read in full...)
Tired of my girlfriend's constant angry behavior!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 and a half year. We are at the same age (~20). It’s our first real relationship and it was really strong. We are comfortable with each other, since we spend a lot of time together (we live together). ...
A. 28 August 2010: You find out a lot about a potential mate by seeing their interaction with their family. You should sit her down in public (like a restaurant) and have a long talk with her about how you feel. You do not have to apologize to her, but you need to ... (read in full...)
He does not want a relationship but still wants to see me
Q. I met my boyfriend online 3 months everything was going great and we still get on well. I realised he recentley was acting weird and asked him what was wrong, he then told me that he did not want to be in a relationship at the moment but still wants ...
A. 28 August 2010: Three words. Drop the player. You are worth more than being Friends with Benefits. You do not need him. You do not need the risk of being with him. You are not responsible for his 4-year relationship ending, and you need not make a single ... (read in full...)
Is it a problem to not like French kissing?
Q. is it normal i dont really like french kissing? i mean i like snogging, and would do anything "sexwise", i just dont really like tongue kissing. is anyone else like that? does that make me strange and will stop me from having sexual partners?...
A. 28 August 2010: Hey! I don't normally care for it either, unless it's done *very* well. And unfortunately, there are *very* few guys who do it well. I dated one guy briefly who thought that French kissing involved trying to probe the back of my throat. I dated ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex drag out our breakup and hurt me so much in the process?
Q. Dear Cupids, Please bear in mind this is going to be a long email but I will be very grateful for constructed advice. 4 months ago my partner broke up with me, had been together almost two years but had been good friends for four years prior...
A. 28 August 2010: You know, I think you know this intellectually, but he did the best thing for you by breaking up, and especially because you saw him on Facebook with a 17 year old. He has a weakness for never being able to be alone and possessing immaturity.
... (read in full...)
Please advise me on how to get over him.
Q. I need help getting over the one i love. Ive been in love with him for nearly 3 years, i guess its my own fault its gone this far but i thought he felt the same and everyone i spoke to about it thought he did too. We're still friends, hes sai...
A. 28 August 2010: I agree with Moo's Mum. If you continue to stay friends with him, you're trying to put out your emotional attachment fire with gasoline. You need to cut off contact with him. You are stuck in one position with him, and you're feeling frustrated ... (read in full...)
If he loves me, why does he want to change me?
Q. My boyfriend of about a year has been for the past few months, i think, trying to change me. He makes me feel so guilty about wearing too short of shorts, make up, and talking to my guy friends. Yet he can talk to his lady friends all he wants. He ...
A. 28 August 2010: Leave this guy. Do not let his insecurities keep you in a cage. That is not love, it's control. Dance in the Dark is absolutely right in her advice. My opinion goes a step farther in my thinking that telling him to stop will be eventually ... (read in full...)
How do you get over being the crazy ex-girlfriend?
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months and I split up about a month ago. I'm ashamed to say I was the crazy ex-girlfriend. I sent him about 8 messages a week for like 5 weeks. I couldn't get over it. Some of them were really unfair. Some were saying how much ...
A. 28 August 2010: First of all, yeah, you kinda lost your head a bit. It's happened to thousands of people who've gone through heartache, especially if you were the one getting dumped. Yes, unfortunately, you most likely killed any chance of reconciliation with the ... (read in full...)
I'd leave but I don't want to hurt the kids..
Q. What is the impact of a spouse hearing these words: "I'd leave but I don't want to hurt the kids"? Having been recently accused of knowing that I don't love my spouse, I'm trying to reconcile that statement with the knowledge that she'd leave but ...
A. 26 August 2010: I think the better question to ask is - what made her say that statement? From where I'm sitting, it sounds like she's crying out and BEGGING for love. This is just my initial assessment based on the little you've shared about the marriage.
... (read in full...)
Do Gorgeous Women only date Equally Gorgeous men?
Q. Question... Whats the secret to getting a really beautiful woman? You know the type you run into every now and again that make your heart stop and fill your veins with ice water? Is there a secret method for attracting these higher echelon b...
A. 26 August 2010: Your roadblock is precisely what you stated - being too scared to ask them out. What makes you scared? Are you feeling like they're out of your league, or are you not confident that they'll ever look favorably at you?
Your answer might be found... (read in full...)
Online date doesn't look at all like her photos. I'm not attracted, even a little repulsed by her appearance!
Q. I met this woman online, very quickly the relationship escalated emotionaly, we exchanged many pictures and shared with eachother about our feelings, hopes and fears on a very deep level. We decided to meet, so i went down to where she lives ...
A. 26 August 2010: I'm confused. If her pictures were up to date, how did she "let herself go"? People usually can't gain noticeable weight that fast. Does she have a mustache or isn't wearing makeup? Was there glasses and messy hair??
Many people when they mee... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man, he is ignoring me, I just want to be friends with him!
Q. Hi. I would like some advice. I slept with a married man, who has been flirting with me for months. It seemed like we had real feelings for each other. Anyway, we had sex one time, and now he is ignoring me. I don't know what to do. I'm mad that he ...
A. 26 August 2010: You'll keep his secret "as long as he is still friends"? What will you do if he doesn't stay your friend? Tell his wife? Boil a bunny? Fake a pregnancy?
Seriously - you do not become friends with a married man, much less sleep with one. Th... (read in full...)
My girlfriends best friend does not know about us!
Q. My girlfriend has not told her best friend who is a male about me and im suspicious. I feel like any self respecting gf of bf would be. I tried to talk to her nicely about, yet she got defensive on me. I have no problem with her having a best friend ...
A. 26 August 2010: You should get out of this relationship. Three is a crowd, and a girl should not be a guy's "best friend" if he has feelings for her and she knows it.
Personally, if I were to make an assessment, she likes the feeling of this "best friend" ... (read in full...)
I hate sex, it makes me feel gross!
Q. My boyfriend loves sex and I hate it so much. Im 16 and love the idea of it but starting sex just makes me feel icky and during sex doesn't feel good at all. My guy tries to do differnt things and is supportave but nothing seem to help. I really ...
A. 26 August 2010: Okay, I have a question you do not have to answer if you don't want to, but just think it to yourself:
Have you ever had an orgasm?? One of the main reasons a girl (or woman of any age for that matter!) doesn't enjoy sex is because there is no or... (read in full...)
He cried when he ejaculated! Is this normal?
Q. i have just started a new relationship and slept together for the first time although we didnt have sex just foreplay . i just wondered if it was normal for a man to cry whilst ejeculating never had this happen before ...
A. 26 August 2010: That's a good thing, and yes, it happens! I prefer it to some guy who makes absolutely no sound (which also happens). ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and want a baby
Q. I can't wait to have a baby that I think sometimes I should just stop taking my birth control pills and not tell my boyfriend. I know it's horrible and I won't but I just want a baby so bad it makes me cry. Please give me NICE advice. I know I can't ...
A. 26 August 2010: Listen, you already know that what you're thinking is foolish, crippling to your life, and highly dishonest if you "pulled your goalie" with a guy, so I won't dwell on that.
But read my words very carefully - you want a child to fulfill an emoti... (read in full...)
Have a big penis and don't know where to put it.
Q. Im a 20 year old guy who has kind of a wierd problem or dilema. The problem is that I have an above average size penis(8 inches long and almost 6 inches around(its true, Im not kidding)) and I just have no place to put it in my pants. Sometimes ...
A. 26 August 2010: Heh, why do I keep imagining that quote from Juno when I read this: "All I see are pork swords".
We women notice 4 things:
Unusually large (the kind of large that makes us wonder if it would knock against our uvula during sex),
Unusua... (read in full...)
I felt something was wrong so I looked at his phone, he does not know this, what do I do?
Q. recently my husband went on a trip with the boys. which he often does. I have always had great trust in our relationship. He called and texted everyday to check in. Upon returned, he asked if the washing machine was empty while he was still in ...
A. 24 August 2010: Hmmm....that could mean anything. So far, there's nothing I'm reading in that phone call that suggests that he's being unfaithful or anything, especially since there's nothing "bragadocious" in the texts, meaning there's no reference to "what a hot ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: You said your husband is a good guy, and that you've been married for 23 years? Are you sure that you're not having a midlife crisis? Did he cheat on you or is an alcoholic, drug user, porn addict, financially unfaithful?
If he's not any of t... (read in full...)
Is it a good or bad idea to go from one long distance relationship straight into another one?
Q. What are your opinions on going from one long distance relationship, (lasted around 1 year and half) straight into another one? Of course I know this isn't ideal, but it just seems to be my luck when finding new people!...
A. 24 August 2010: Heh, I just have to ask - aren't there girls who live locally in your area?? It would save on plane flights and phone bills!
I don't know any of the details in this, but my first thought is that it's not healthy to rush into another relation... (read in full...)
Is my FWB falling for me?
Q. Ok long story. I have a good friend that is in a really bad place right now. He has been with his gf for about 9 months. He hasn't been happy for at least 6. She treats him horribly and he can't stand to be around her. He was about to leave her ...
A. 24 August 2010: First of all, that doesn't make sense. Why is he with his girlfriend before she has the baby if he doesn't intend to stay with her even if the baby is his? If she was sleeping with his best friend at the same time, he's under no obligation to stay ... (read in full...)
I said my ex had a dream body when in bed with my girlfriend! How do I fix this stupid mistake?
Q. Hello people, I think I screwed up hard and need help! I was talking in bed with my girlfriend (talking about sex), until the point came that she said "I'd like to see your ex, I want to know how she looks like". I am a such stupid person, s...
A. 24 August 2010: Heh, you've got some work to do dislodging that foot from your mouth. If any girl asks you that question, you tell her the truth - that the ex doesn't even compare to her.
Saying that your ex has a "dream body, oh lord" is basically telling ... (read in full...)
What can I do so he doesn't just use me for sex?
Q. Hi everyone, so my predicament is this...my boyfriend and I had been in a sexless relationship for about 6 months before I finally broke up with him. We are still friends and I'm really happy about the breakup, but anyway, one night a few weeks ...
A. 24 August 2010: In this case, honesty is the best policy. Tell him that even though you had sex on the first date, you really want to slow things down and get to know him better as a person and let him get to know you. Tell him you want to hold off on the sex for ... (read in full...)
Is he just playing me?
Q. i have a boyfriend and we've been dating for about 5-ish months. his facebook relationship status is 'married to...' (i won't put the actual name) and her wall is public, so i've been on it, and he commented on her profile picture saying 'thass ...
A. 24 August 2010: Oh yeah, he's playing you. According to what you've written, he throws the "love" word around like it means nothing to him whatsoever, and if he were truly in love with you, he wouldn't dream of writing all of that stuff on Facebook. Also, is he ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian or bisexual?
Q. i'm so confused if i'm a lesbian or bisexual or something like that , but the problem is i dont want to , i want to be straight . i always attracted by girls , i never have the intense feeling with boys ,as maximum i only feel just wow this guy so ...
A. 24 August 2010: Well, truthfully, the only person who can say whether they are Lesbian or bisexual is you. I can tell you that you certainly have indications that you might be bisexual at least.
However, with most people, it's not that simple. There isn't an... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was trying to get me to leave the room to masterbate!
Q. Ok, so if you've ever seen those things on the internet where the girl or guy is asking for help because they walked in on their partner masterbating, well here's another one. Now you see, i don't have a problem with the guy masterbating, bu...
A. 22 August 2010: Ahh geeze. Let me tell you this seriously:
There is nothing wrong with you. His issues are his alone. You didn't cause them, and he's not looking at porn and acting the way he is because of there being something wrong with you.
He is having ... (read in full...)
Are we mutually using each other?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6.5 years, living together for the last 2 years. We've been arguing/discussing about separating for the last 1.5 months. I don't understand why he wants to stay in the relationship - like what's in it for ...
A. 22 August 2010: Well, you can find the answer in the Law of Inertia:
"Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest."
In the relationship world, this would be characterized as being "stuck" or "in a rut" or "too comfortable... (read in full...)
I can't get an erection , is it nervousness or medical?
Q. My girlfiend and I are planning on having sex for the first time, as i'm a virgin i'm quite nervous but seeing as she isn't i'm also worried she'll compare. I'm not the biggest guy down there but that doesn't really concern me, what concerns me is ...
A. 21 August 2010: Ahhh, well before we get started on the advice, let me reassure you that unless you have one smaller than a AAA battery, you're going to be just fine! We women don't even think about comparing penis size if we're truly in love with you. Most women ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about info I have on her boyfriend? or do I keep it to myself
Q. Right. I don't usually talk about this kind of thing or ask... but this is a dilemma that is really bothering me. I have a friend, who we shall call Katie. Katie has suffered from depression for a good portion of her life, and was recently d...
A. 21 August 2010: Hmm...you're really stuck in this one. You could tell her and possibily mess up your friendship, or you could NOT tell her, she'll find out you knew, and it would mess up the friendship...
There's a third option actually you might not have tho... (read in full...)
Is he just saying all this stuff of does he actually love me?
Q. I'm 14, the boy I like is 16 He was drunk(I think ) and he held my hand And said he loves me and that, But any other time he doesn't even when we're in the park It was just that night he was saying all this stuff I love him but I'm not su...
A. 21 August 2010: Well, being drunk lowers people's inhibitions and gets them to do and say things they've always wanted to do and say. I'm thinking that he is inhibited in some ways about his emotions, but that night, the alcohol dropped his defenses and pulled ... (read in full...)
She's sitting on the idea of a break and using it as leverage - help!
Q. my gf wont decide what she wants to do with our relationship. we had an argument, she wants me to be more responsible and more mature with my life, and i lied about getting something. during the argument i mis-heard a question and said yes to get ...
A. 21 August 2010: Ohh man. To easily answer your question - no, it's not fair that she is doing this, and in trying to elicit maturity from you, she's showing immaturity by broadcasting it on Facebook and holding the "break" thing over your head.
I've always s... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship not a long term booty call?!
Q. I was seeing a guy off and on for the last 4yrs. We were friends only friends the first 6 months then we slept together. I wanted a serious relationship u know I'm ur man ur my woman type of relationship. But when it came to putting a title on it we ...
A. 20 August 2010: After 4 years, there should be some understanding in the relationship. The fact that he doesn't want one means that you're right not to waste time any longer with him. I agree with the others - he's wanting his cake and eating it too.
Good ... (read in full...)
Husband's co worker is obsessed with him, is he cheating with her?
Q. My husbands co worker (girl) has been telling me things such as they are planning a weekend together and sexually explicit details between him and her. But he denies that he has ever touched her and we have been dealing with face book remarks and ...
A. 20 August 2010: He's most definitely lying AND cheating on you. You know this deep down inside.
Here's the biggest proof - if a husband perceives that someone (even another girl he was friends with) threatens to kill his wife, there would be NO wishy washy re... (read in full...)
He doesn't have the time or motivation to be committed?
Q. My boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday. It just doesn't feel right. I am 19 and he is 20. He is in school for pre-medicine 2 hours away. We had been going out for 14 months and had already conquered the first year of school away from each other. ...
A. 20 August 2010: I concur - he is wanting out. He's chosen his school and pursuits over a relationship with you. He even said it - it's bad timing for him and he feels that the relationship with its obligations and demands are tripping him up out of his motivation ... (read in full...)
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