A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has not told her best friend who is a male about me and im suspicious. I feel like any self respecting gf of bf would be. I tried to talk to her nicely about, yet she got defensive on me. I have no problem with her having a best friend who is male, but it just weirded me out tht whenever i hold her or we are chilin, she stops paying attention to me, and answers all of his text. Not only that, on our first date, she told me that she felt he has a crush on her but she would rather stay friends. I asked her if he knew about us, and she said that it was none of his business. Why wouldnt your best friend know about your boyfriend or girlfriend?When I approached her about it, she said that even her friends think its weird that she is always talking about him and missing him all the time. And she said that the reason that he doesnt know about me is that he is "overprotective". What? lol. She told me that he actually beat up her ex for cheating on her and if something happened between me and her, she wouldnt want him to do anything to me....Anyone else's eyebrows raised? One more question. Why is she still writing on his facebook wall when she said that she would stop her communications with him? I'm not trying to be controlling, but at the same time, am I right to be supicious about this, and why? Please help me someone lol. Thank u so much.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You should get out of this relationship. Three is a crowd, and a girl should not be a guy's "best friend" if he has feelings for her and she knows it.
Personally, if I were to make an assessment, she likes the feeling of this "best friend" showering affection on her, listening to her, doing things for her, and "pursuing" her, even if she doesn't intend to return the affection. She knows that if he were to know about you, *that* attention would stop, as he would naturally distance himself from her.
I'm with Oregon on the fact that she's exaggerating this "beating up" story. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't go near some girl if this guy "best friend" is assaulting her boyfriends/exes. She has an ego the size of Texas, and likes guys fussing and fighting over her. If you're both in your 20's, she's too old for this kind of immaturity.
My advice is to walk, no RUN away and find someone who isn't hung up on attention seeking and doesn't have baggage like that. The time for telling her what to do has passed. She will not listen to you, nor will she change for you, and you can't tell her to.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (26 August 2010):
You have every reason to be supicious! she is hiding you for a good reason! and as far as the story of beating someone up that is a lie she is trying to scare you off in not talking to him or finding out about you. what does she do hide you in the closet and when she wants you she pulls you out. i would be down the road there are so many woman who would be proud to share you in public and show you off i would move on.................. what a user what do you see in someone like that?
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