A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have been living together for four years and he can not say I love you
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female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (28 August 2010):
Honey, i will tell you from experience that comes from his up bringing! didn't have a very effectionate family growing up ask him. i know it took me a long time to express myself but im glad i did im a very open person now and my communication is better too! so it does make a big difference. and or maybe he got hurt in the past?
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Four years, and he can't say it. That's a bit long.
How come you moved in with him if he hadn't told you he loved you? I'm guessing that he shows you that he loves you without saying the words.
It could be one of two things:
First, he may feel that saying the words is too emotional for him to show you. Some guys feel that saying it makes them appear weak.
Second, he may have commitment issues. For many guys, saying the words means that he's making a commitment to work towards a future, and people with commitment issues may not say them because it "obligates" them.
My opinion is that after 4 years, there's no reason not to say the words if that's how you feel. You have to decide whether the state of your relationship is something you can live with indefinitely, or you need more. I guarantee that he will not say the words, and you will not see any future in the relationship.
If that's fine with you, then be happy. If not, you need to cut loose sooner rather than later, because he will continue to waste your time. You can't make him change, but you can be honest and tell him that you won't make him tell you that he loves you, but you need to be with someone who isn't afraid to say it.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (28 August 2010):
 My guess is he's probably come from a family who do not say this to each other either. Some people would rather show their love than say it. Have you told him you want him to say it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): Maybe he has had issues with this in the past. Or maybe if you're pressuring him into saying it he could be not saying it because he feels pressured. Or maybe hes not sure. I dont really know because there isnt much information for me to really answer this question. Have you two been fighting lately?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): Um, that's probably not a good sign.
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