A
male
age
30-35,
*ristos
writes:i am in love with a woman that is in love with a guy that died in a car accident. She knows that i am in love with her and o told her to move on but she says that she doesn't want to forget him. What i have to do so that i get a chance with her? Please answer because it is very importand to me.
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female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (30 August 2010):
How long ago did he pass? she may never forget him and doesn't have too! but she can still move on and she will one day her heart needs time and you should be happy that she is honest w/ you. i would tell her that you understand and take her time and if she needs a friend and just wants to hang out that you are there for her! but you truly got to mean it you cant play w/ her heart! and being w/ you might help her if you truly like her? give her time sounds like she would be worth waiting for.
Best Wishes!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): you shouldn't ever tell someone who lost someone to just move on. That's awful. My uncle lost his wife to cancer and got married shortly thereafter. I resented it and I didn't know how anyone could just "move on" so quickly. but it was a lot more complicated than that. He has never moved on and he never will. But he has chosen to love again. These are two different things entirely. His new wife includes things from my deceased aunt into our lives and our traditions, and I am very thankful for that. It shows how much of a giving and Christian heart she has for, instead of letting it make her jealous, she embraces it as a part of him and his past. She knows that the first wife was and is our family, and she is not a "replacement" by any means but she still helps her spirit live on. I'm sure they don't talk about her daily, but it's nice to know that they both don't have her "off limits" in her conversation.
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (30 August 2010):
You need to give her time, don't tell her to get over him it doesn't work like that she can't just trun her feelings off and you telling her to get over it, is just going to push her away and make her made at you. Give her time and be there to listen to her when she needs someone to talk too.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 August 2010):
 *You* can't tell her to move on. She will always love that guy. You will have to learn to respect her history and feelings if you want any kind of a chance with her. What you need to do is not feel insecure or threatened by her connection to the memory of her dead boyfriend.
If you make her choose between letting go of her memory and you, and if you put that stipulation on her, you are going to lose. You have to be patient. Eventually, unless she slips into clinical depression, she will eventually heal and slowly re-awaken to the idea of loving again. No one, not even you, can ever take that guy's place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Since I don't know how long ago he died, I cannot be sure if she just needs time to grieve or if she's obsessed with him.
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