A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a guy off and on for the last 4yrs. We were friends only friends the first 6 months then we slept together. I wanted a serious relationship u know I'm ur man ur my woman type of relationship. But when it came to putting a title on it we started to have problems! He said y worry abt wat the title was because we were always with each other! So I started to date and he got angry said I was wrong so forth and so on! Was I wrong I want a serious long term relationship not a long term booty call!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks u guys (:
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 August 2010):
 After 4 years, there should be some understanding in the relationship. The fact that he doesn't want one means that you're right not to waste time any longer with him. I agree with the others - he's wanting his cake and eating it too.
Good for you for putting your foot down.
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A
male
reader, Pazush  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Hi,
i agree with cerberus. you should make it his call.
either youre taking the next step (such as moving together or anything similar) or it will end.
dont waste your time...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): No you weren't wrong, he basically wanted to have is cake and eat it.
He didn't want to commit so he wouldn't feel bad about sleeping with other women plus he could keep his options open that way too, if he found someone he deemed to be better.
You're better off without him. He's an idiot if he thinks you should be with a guy that doesn't want the same things as you.
He wants friend with benefits, you don't. That's the end of that. No you weren't wrong to want those things, most of us do.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (20 August 2010):
 I don't see anything wrong with you dating if he doesn't want to be your BF.
He's probably just mad because he wants you all to himself... but then he can keep telling the rest of the chicks he's meeting that he's single and it wouldn't be a lie.
Find somebody less confusing.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (20 August 2010):
You're not wrong to seek out another relationship if the one you're in isn't making you happy.
However, I will agree with the guy and say it really irks me when women want to assign a certain word to a relationship. "Dating" or "boyfriend" or whatever. Reality is what it is, right? There's no arguing about objective reality. A word is just a way to assign expectations to the future. We're together every night, but we're just "dating," so that means if I decide to date someone else she can't get mad. Or, we only hung out a couple times, but she's my "girlfriend," so I'm stuck with her until we "break up."
Maybe that's why marriage means so much to a woman. There's absolutely no doubt about what a marriage is, it's actually written down on paper for God's sake, and there is only one way out of it, and it's expensive and embarrassing. What a nightmare.
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