A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I would like some advice. I slept with a married man, who has been flirting with me for months. It seemed like we had real feelings for each other. Anyway, we had sex one time, and now he is ignoring me. I don't know what to do. I'm mad that he basically used me, and now won't talk to me. But I really don't care; I'll keep his little secret as long as we still get to be friends! What should I do to get him to see that it was one time and it isn't a big deal? I still want to be friends with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): I don't know how to verify myself on this, I am new to this site! But I am the original poster. Thank you for all your advice. I didn't mean that I'd keep his secret only if he stayed my friend. I didn't mean it in a vindictive way. I just meant that I'll keep his damn secret. I don't give a crap. I just want to be friends, the way it was before all this happened. We were very good friends for a long time. He is a family friend, his wife is one of my older sister's friends. So its hard for us not to see each other and we have a lot of common friends. I'm just pissed. I feel used. Yes, I let him in my bed, but I didn't force him. It takes two. You all should remember that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): Everyone is saying to leave it alone and not contact him, I disagree. Call his wife up, tell her your name, age and tell her what happened. She deserves to know. He's a sick man and he used you. There are consequences to behaving the way he did, so give him a douse of reality. Once you do, stay clear of them and move on. I hope you don't have famiy/friends in common as this might make the situation trickier.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): friends or friends with benefits with this married man?
plse accept that you were only a conquest, nothing more ,nothing less. he wanted, he took and now he is gone from your life.
he is married and he just sowed his oats and now he is back playing happy hapy with his wife.
accept it. learn from it. if you mess with married men and they treat you like sh1t then you only have yourself to blame.
i think you are ready to rat him out because he is ignoring you. and you should.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): Don;t blow his cover. That would be nasty and unfair.He is trying to avoid you, as he thinks you are dangerous. Just let it go.
Take care. Anon.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You'll keep his secret "as long as he is still friends"? What will you do if he doesn't stay your friend? Tell his wife? Boil a bunny? Fake a pregnancy?
Seriously - you do not become friends with a married man, much less sleep with one. The guy does not have feelings for you. You were a break from boredom and a boost to his ego.
You will gain nothing and lose a LOT by becoming a stalker, or outting him to his wife and his friends. You will be branded a "whore" by all who support him, right or wrong. I've seen where the spouse gets more angry and vindictive with a "mistress" rather than their spouse (I don't ever get that reaction, but it happens!), so you'll be prepared to be socially ostracized from any circle of influence you and this guy share together. Your play at "getting even" or "hurting" you for being cast aside will backfire.
Seriously, your best bet in this situation is to chalk it up to a bad mistake, become a better person, and move on with your life. Stop every shred of contact with this guy. Move on and channel your hurt feelings into something positive for yourself. You do not want a cheater and user of women to be friends with you. End this chapter of your life, and may the next chapter be a better one.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (26 August 2010):
First of all what did you exspect? and secondly your mad at him but still want to remain friends? don't get it. i think you want more then friends! and as far as him using you because he can!! you need to wise up and chalk him off as a lesson learned and stay more torge the single guys. i don't feel for you at all i do feel bad for his wife! you got everything coming to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): Uhm you're kind of young so I'm going to be honest with you. This is what men do. Even if they're married, they want to have sex. He is not interested in you and he doens't want to be your friend. Basically stop contacting him becaue it's just going to get ugly if you do and you'll end hurting yourself even more........... I've been through this on your end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): He is feeling bad for cheating on his wife, and you should of never done that. Do you know how it would feel? Just leave the man alone, and you should keep it to your self, do you know what other people are going to think about you? Sleeping with married men??
Just delete his number and for get about him. Let him work on his marriage. Good luck.
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