A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of about a year has been for the past few months, i think, trying to change me. He makes me feel so guilty about wearing too short of shorts, make up, and talking to my guy friends. Yet he can talk to his lady friends all he wants. He even tries to guilt me into not going any where is he is going out with his guys. He says it worries him to much. What should I do? I love him, but I'm not happy. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Leave this guy. Do not let his insecurities keep you in a cage. That is not love, it's control. Dance in the Dark is absolutely right in her advice. My opinion goes a step farther in my thinking that telling him to stop will be eventually ineffective. Ingrained jealousy and insecurity in my opinion is insurmountable. That's only my opinion though, and I highly respect the opinions of my fellow aunts.
Is he older than you? Do not let him take control of the relationship. He will use your love and need for him against you. He will also make you feel like you SHOULD be appreciative of his jealousy because it's evidence of his love for you. That is a lie.
If you don't leave him, you will soon become very miserable. He will break you down emotionally and make you feel like you are a horrible person if not for him. You are young enough to re-take control of your life back from him. Tell yourself that you CAN live without him, and that you will be okay without him, or he's got you under his thumb.
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Do you honestly want to be with someone who guilts you? Chances are he's going to guilt you over everything.
What if he wants to get married, and you don't? Chances are he'll guilt over that. And So on, the more serious you get, chances are the more serious things he'll guilt you over.
You need to tell him to stop, and if he doesn't then well, you need to kick him to the curb.
I know you love him, and when you love somebody it feels you can't picture yourself without them. But you're young, and you'll fall in love with other guys, wonderful guys, who won't guilt you.
...............................
|
