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I'm 16 and want a baby

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *oll_facesweetie writes:

I can't wait to have a baby that I think sometimes I should just stop taking my birth control pills and not tell my boyfriend. I know it's horrible and I won't but I just want a baby so bad it makes me cry. Please give me NICE advice. I know I can't have a baby I know that.

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A female reader, Curly21 United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

im 14 and have a 18 month old little girl i wouldnt change her for the world but its hard raising a child when your only a child yourself so if i had not been forced into sex i would not have chosen to have had a baby its a huge responsibility.

i hope this has helped x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

I'll be 20 in 5 days. Every since I was about 16 I go through these phases where i really want a baby. I've even cried and begged my fiance but he says we're not ready. I am going to school next year for my LPN and I would love to have a child but i'm going to wait until I accomplish my goal so I can raise it without struggling as bad as if I was working a minimum wage job. It might help you to set a goal like that too before you have a kid. You are too young though. Remember, they only stay babies for a little while.

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A female reader, LilPixie United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

LilPixie agony auntFeeling this way is completely normal, a lot of teenage girls feel this way. I've been wanting a baby since I was 13! Good thing is that you realise it wouldn't be a good idea to have a baby now.

Do you know anyone that you could babysit for now and again? If you could, this way you would be able to work with children without having any yourself quite yet. Or you could ask your parents if you could get a cat or dog or maybe something smaller like a hamster. I know it's not the same but you would have something that you can love and care for.

Finish your qualifications at the very least before having a baby because it will make it easy to find a job later. I know a few girls who've had kids before they finished school and they're struggling to catch up with the qualifications they missed out on.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

YouWish agony auntListen, you already know that what you're thinking is foolish, crippling to your life, and highly dishonest if you "pulled your goalie" with a guy, so I won't dwell on that.

But read my words very carefully - you want a child to fulfill an emotional need right now. It could be the need for unconditional love, the need to care for someone, the need to accomplish something lasting, to have someone you can influence, to cure loneliness, etc.

This baby will not fulfill those needs. Instead, you will go without sleep, you will exist to serve the needs of a child who will by very nature be selfish while giving next to nothing. It will be you working 24/7 at the hardest job of your life to fulfill your baby's needs. You will still feel the same feelings of need when the baby is born.

You are also extremely young, and by your very nature are not emotionally or financially mature enough to handle having a baby. Having your heart melt when you see someone else's doesn't qualify or give you an adequate picture of motherhood. Those babies' mothers are doing the "heavy lifting" that you don't see, as in 2am, 4am, 6am feedings, next to zero sleep, colic, teething, being sick, peeing all over you during the diaper change (especially if it's a boy), etc.

Pinpoint your need driving you to want a baby so badly. Find another way to meet that need that won't throw your (and your parents' or other support system's) life permanently askew. Train and take a job at a day care facility. You'll get all the benefits of bonding with babies and taking care of them, and the best part is - you can go home at night and be a teenager again. If you're a churchgoer, volunteer in the nursery on Sundays. Like someone before said - babysitting works too!

When you get older, you'll view the world so much differently than you do now.

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A female reader, Jesc United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

Jesc agony auntI was 17 when I had a baby.

There is not one day that I wished I waited to provide a better life for my daughter.

I work 3 jobs dropped out of High School cause I have no support from my family.

At first you might get it. But I promise you it'll be taken for granted and they will stop.

I'm 20 years of age, High School drop out. Last grade I finished was 10. The only jobs I can get are disgusting.

Do not get me wrong. I love my daughter with all my heart. I would sell my soul just to make her happy, To give her what she wants.

But I should have been smart and think about her before I became prego. Believe it or not. It does matter. You want your child to be safe and have a good life laid out. Not picking up pennies everytime you see one thinking. "Yes one more to pay for the bills"

Please trust me, Having a baby now won't just ruin your life but that childs. DO NOT think you will have it different. I promise you won't.

Please OP I understand the want. God I'm struggling and want another baby. But after my first I know not to do it till I can take care of my daughter and me.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (26 August 2010):

The Realist agony auntLet those thoughts drive you to get through school and become successful with the right guy so that way when you do have children you will be an amazing mother with all the resources she needs to give her children what ever she wants to. You only get one youth and once there is a baby there is not going back so try to be patient and wait for your time to come. Maybe you could look into baby sitting young ones so that you can get the experience without having one of your own plus the pay would be good. Have fun with your life now and one day in the future i am sure that you will be a terrific mother and be very gled that you waited.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntIf you do that then your boyfriend will probably leave you when your pregnant. I believe that a baby should be brought into this world with two loving partners and that it should be wanted by both. You already know your too young..and that your a baby yourself. Stop worrying about it, and live your life, attend college, fall in love with a new guy, graduate with a bachelor's, marry your college sweetheart then worry about a baby. I'm not telling you this to be mean, it's the truth a lot of single mothers, or young mothers love their children but wish they could go back and do it differently..

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A female reader, lemmygirlz United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

lemmygirlz agony auntim the same way i would love love love to have a baby and im about to be 16 my self but think about how a baby would mess up your life right now you wouldn't be able to finish school and what if tour bf leaves you

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