I feel guilty that I don't want a child with my wife, but I might with another woman
Q. My wife is now entering into menopause. We never had a child. We talked about it now and again, but it was never a priority for us. There was a time when she said she wanted that experience, but I didn't take her seriously because - for on...
A. 15 January 2012: Well, it's not that you're lying. You're simply telling the truth as it stands now. Your truth with your wife is that you don't want kids with her.
However, as far as your guilty feelings are concerned, this is something to reflect on. Does par... (read in full...)
Does my ex still have feelings for me? I don't wanna end up as FWB.
Q. My ex and I recently began talking again after 2 months of no contact. We topped talking bc he got a new girlfriend. He texted my sister asking if I till hated him. And he even told her that he misses me and wants to be friends. My sister replied ...
A. 13 January 2012: He is USING you. you are a FWB, and he's using you as a fluid receptacle until someone else comes along, and he's exploiting your feelings for him to get what he wants from you. He's also exploiting your desperate need not to feel rejected in ... (read in full...)
Lack of balance in my relationship....
Q. I feel as if my 3 year relationship lacks balance. I always seem to be the one helping out and my boyfriend the one needing the help or asking for the favour. I also seem to be the one that is always giving in and giving up because his requirments/...
A. 13 January 2012: This is a symptom. You're giving and giving for two reasons:
1. You believe that you're not worth a good and true relationship, and that in order to stay "worthy", you need to keep giving, because if you stop, you're worried that you'll be dropp... (read in full...)
He has cheated before and now it seems he is doing the same again, what should I do?
Q. Well compliments of the new year to every one, my problem is i have been dating a guy for four months and things has been goin pretty well until he started breaking off the communication between us recently.. During the time we were on good terms he ...
A. 13 January 2012: Umm, why did you not confront him of his cheating the first time? Why did you break up with him and not tell him why?
Then, you go back to him after he cheated, and you're surprised that he's cheating again?
Time to grow a spine, tell him ... (read in full...)
Am I too available to this guy? I feel after 3 years he is too comfortable and playing games!
Q. Hey everyone! I need some advice When we first started dating, of course, my boyfriend was very romantic and did lots of sweet things for me. He liked being affectionate and sending me little love notes - and he did, ALL THE TIME. Then we began to...
A. 12 January 2012: Truthfully? I think you should let him be himself. The guy takes you out to dinner, pays for travel expenses to see you, and he loves you. That *is* showing affection.
He's trying to tell you something when he says that he wants a peaceful... (read in full...)
Husband had emotional affair and isn't attracted to me. He says its my duty to make him aroused!
Q. My hubby had a emmotional affair with his co.worker..even he was ready to 2 marriage but the girl want him to leave me..but he can't do this bcz he thinks he is a victom of love but also love me and our 6 y old baby.now my hubby has leave this ...
A. 12 January 2012: He says that it's your duty to arouse him?
Umm, sorry, but it's his duty to honor his marriage vows and not play around with a co-worker. I don't care if it's emotional or not.
Sounds like you'd be much better off without this selfish excuse f... (read in full...)
Queefing during doggy-style, is there any way to stop it?
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sexual intercourse, we tried the 'doggy style' position, I love it because of the deep penetration but whenever we do it, my vagina makes a weird 'farting' noise? People call it a 'queef'. When it happens I stop and I'm ...
A. 12 January 2012: Heh, you can tell the guy to not pull out as much during thrusting. Some guys go all the way out, or most of the way out and pack in more air.
Otherwise, I know you're self-conscious, but guys aren't put off by it! Hell, they're the ones who... (read in full...)
Awkward breakup but I still want to be with him. Help?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me today. I hadn't expected this at all, but lately I'd been noticing that he'd been a bit distant. So I decided to ask him today if he actually liked me at all. He put his head down so I couldn't see his face and said, "I ...
A. 12 January 2012: There isn't much you can do in this situation. He decided that you weren't the one for him. It happens with the best of us, and there's a good chance that you might feel the same way in the future about a guy who's interested in you where you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks every night, how can I tell him to stop when I have been joining in for the last year?
Q. I didn't know my boyfriend drank a few glasses of wine every day until we moved in together. He started getting me a glass when I come home from work and gradually we got into the habit of at least 3 or 4 glasses per day but more for him. I feel as...
A. 10 January 2012: First of all, that's good that you're wanting to scale back on drinking! I wouldn't feel bad about having drunk with him every night, because like any health change, it will involve your stopping something you used to do.
I noticed the title sa... (read in full...)
I just found out my partner was a prostitute
Q. Just found out that my partner was a prostitute - apparently a one off that she dreadfully regrets...I love her but am at a loss what to do now...sorry so short but I'm too upset for many details. ...
A. 9 January 2012: Wait WAIT! Hold on a second...
You said something really interesting...
"when I asked bentley if this was because it reminded her of him, ie something he did, she broke down and said she didn't want to talk about it! How can we move on from ... (read in full...)
She said he's not racist anymore, but I just feel very uncomfortable. Am I over-reacting or not?
Q. So I have a situation that has been really bothering me and I need some help because I dunno if I'm overreacting or am I right for being upset.. ok so I'm living in a house with my boyfriend and two other roomates. Its been going ok, but now my room...
A. 9 January 2012: I totally understand how you feel. I would have questions if I were in your position.
I think the best next step is to ask why the cousin was racist, and what made him no longer be a racist.
I know that some people grow up in racist or hom... (read in full...)
There's an 8 year age difference, is that OK?
Q. Hi agony aunts, i need some advice on what to do with this older man I have been seeing. He is 25 yrs old (8 yr age gap, I'm 17) i have met him only a few times in the month and a half i have known him and other than that mostly keeping in touch ...
A. 9 January 2012: Celtic Tiger is correct.
Let me shorten this for you:
He is GROOMING you. Do you know what that means? He is getting you ready in order to use you, pop your cherry, and then discard you. Sorry to be so crass, but this is his end game with yo... (read in full...)
Should I continue this relationship? he's very aggressive, easily angered!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 weeks and we've been through so much trouble already! A few days after we got together he was going on at me because I had cheated in my last relationship, well, it was a drunken snog that I s...
A. 8 January 2012: Heh, well, break up! I'm sure you'd feel worse if he beat the crap out of you than if you were to break up with him.
As for his belittling you as a cheater, yeah, people who cheat have a good possibility of being serial cheaters. I hope you... (read in full...)
Should I cook for a girl on Valentine's if we're not officially Bf/Gf?
Q. Hey guys, Basically I know it's still quite a way from Valentine's day but i'm going to try and be organised for this :P I've been meeting up/dating(if you like) a girl for about 5 months now and we're basically going out together just without ...
A. 8 January 2012: That would be AWESOME for you to cook for her!
That is, if you're a good cook. ;)
Cooking isn't a sign of commitment. It's just something ultra-romantic, especially if you have candles and nice dishes and you do it up good!
Yes, though, ma... (read in full...)
He treated me like his doormat! Should I meet up with him again?
Q. I am in a huge emotional turmoil these days. I was in a serious relationship with this guy for almost a year and a half but soon things turned sour for the worse. We did LOVE each other A LOT. There was nothing left but fights and tears and most of ...
A. 8 January 2012: Why, why why, WHY WHY?!??!
This guy sounds like a masochist's dream. He'll trash you body and soul, and you'll come back to him with a "Please, sir, may I have another?"
This time, tell your ego to take a hike, and take all of those goofy bond... (read in full...)
Not really a relationship question, but is anyone else downright disgusted by feet?
Q. Really weird question, but I was wondering if there was anyone else out there like me. I guess you could say it is sort of a relationship question if you tilt your head sideways and squint... But I have a horrible aversion to feet. I don't wa...
A. 8 January 2012: Many people hate feet. Sometimes it's an extension of germophobia. Sometimes it's simply a hatred of the foot in general.
In my opinion, unless you're having urges to go on a foot hacking crime spree, you're fine!
To the anonymous guy wh... (read in full...)
Gift of the Magi Gone Wrong
Q. Okay, this is a sort of late question but I've been hesitating. I didn't want to resort to this website but here it goes. My boyfriend and I love the story The Gift of Magi. It's a short story about a young married couple that struggles wi...
A. 8 January 2012: Umm...where do I start?? I did read Gift of the Magi, and I know it's supposed to be heartwarming, but it's also a cautionary tale about miscommunication! Guess what? You got that message really well!
Christmas is for giving, not to re-enact... (read in full...)
Unfaithful husband with problems. Should I keep trying to fix our marriage or just call it a lost cause?
Q. I have been married for 4 year with a beautiful son. I have found out my husband was having a affair with his ex friend's girlfriend and that he was using again. So christmas eve of 2010 he had broke up with me and for the past year we had argu...
A. 8 January 2012: Heh, I think we sped past "lost cause" years ago!
Seriously, he cheated, used drugs, and has a child through this illicit affair, not to mention he was using after your child was born.
What on earth is there to save???
If you had a best fri... (read in full...)
Is my size normal for my age?
Q. i want to know if my penis size is normal im 16 and my penis is only 7 and a half inches...
A. 7 January 2012: I'm with Cindy. heh. Hi Cindy!! :)
I'm wondering how many inches are "ego inches".
:D... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend just can't seem to have sex!
Q. i have tried to have sex twice with my boyfriend but every time, it really hurts and he makes me bleed. the first time we tried it, it didn't get very far in and i started bleeding. the second time which was two days ago he put it all the way in but ...
A. 7 January 2012: First of all, you're okay!
Second, the worst is over!!
If you're worrying, do like Tisha said and maybe have a reassuring visit to a Dr, but truthfully, everything you talked about is normal.
Some girls bleed a lot when they lose their vir... (read in full...)
Some questions about 'doggie style'
Q. Hello, I'm 20 and had some questions about doggy style. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I have never really wanted to pursue this position because there is not really any eye contact and feels more like a "get her done" ...
A. 7 January 2012: You know, I understand how you feel about face to face intimacy, but I'll tell you something else. It's *really* intimate to be sexually adventurous, even if that means hanging from the rafters upside down while doing it reverse doggy style!
... (read in full...)
I love him so much but my heart is so broken.
Q. Last night my boyfriend was acting unusual so I asked him lets discuss what was going on . So we begin to talk and he tes me he doesnt wanna be in a relationship because he cant deal with it and it is impossible for him to just talk to one girl.So I ...
A. 7 January 2012: Ahh geeze. This guy is immature and doesn't know what he wants. If you stay with him or bother with him in any way now, knowing that you don't want your heart broken anymore, then that's simply masochistic.
The way to protect your heart is to no... (read in full...)
What exactly does 'taking it to the next level' mean?
Q. What does it mean to you "take it to the next level" regarding relationships? I hear this all the time and I'm starting to doubt what this means. Please share your definitions. I know what it means to feel closer or more distant and even have con...
A. 7 January 2012: Heh....hey mish! I know what you mean, because I read it on here all the time and consider how it's being said by whom and in what context.
There are many "levels" in a relationship, and I've seen where that means different things to differen... (read in full...)
What is worse: His age difference or his lie?
Q. My BF says he is 38, but i found out he is 45. And i'm 27. Should the lie or the big age difference bother me? Is it too much of a difference? We are planning to take the r/ship to the next level....
A. 6 January 2012: Yikes!
Any business who found out that an employee lied about their credentials (i.e. education, age, employment history, criminal record) would be fired on the spot if they were exposed. It wouldn't matter how good they were since being hi... (read in full...)
Feel like she is acting like a single, not us as a couple. Is my feeling valid and normal?
Q. We have been together for about 9.5 months. We are compatible with each other and intend to take the relationship to the next level when the time is right. There is this thing that keep bugging me and upsetting me a bit. I am 32 and she is 28. B...
A. 6 January 2012: Wow, I'm going to hand it to you straight. If you keep acting like this with her, you're going to lose her, because you are out of line.
First of all, she's not your "other half" yet. She's your girlfriend, and you aren't at a "next level" w... (read in full...)
"I'm Not Your Trophy Girl".
Q. I have been talking with this guy for the past 3 months. He wants me 2 Be HIS WOMAN.BUT i havent really said yes 2 him. THIS IS WHY... We Talk alot on the phone. I Told him im pretty much a"Jeans and T-Shirt " laid back kinda woman.He tells me if ...
A. 6 January 2012: Well, then dump him! You've only been dating three months, and if he's making you feel like this right off, then you two aren't right together! Apparently, something attracted him to you, but if he's trying to change you, then it needs to end.
... (read in full...)
I just found out my partner was a prostitute
Q. Just found out that my partner was a prostitute - apparently a one off that she dreadfully regrets...I love her but am at a loss what to do now...sorry so short but I'm too upset for many details. ...
A. 6 January 2012: Oh no no no. Hold on a second.
This happened before you met. Before you met. She was not obligated to tell you about this any more than you were obligated to tell her about any casual encounters or one night stands in your past.
What do... (read in full...)
I am very financially responsible, my b/f isn't and his situation makes me very uneasy
Q. I have been dating a guy for 2 months, we've known each other for 7 months prior to dating. The thing is he has a lot of financial problems. He was injured in an accident and was not able to work, hence the bills started mounting. He lost a ...
A. 6 January 2012: In this bad economy world, there are three kinds of bad financial situations.
1. The kind where you are responsible with money, yet a situation happens that's outside your control. He had an accident and couldn't work, or a job layoff in a man... (read in full...)
I kicked her out but I want her back!
Q. I broke up with her 2 weeks ago when she broke a major condition of our relationship. I was so angry with her blatantly ruining our love that I kicked her out of the house and immaturely called her hurtful names. We had 1 major issue before and I ...
A. 5 January 2012: So, you kick her out twice, and verbally abused her. I don't even want to know what names you called her, but I do know that any guy who unleashed like that on me and called me hurtful names wouldn't have gotten a second chance.
You think yo... (read in full...)
I just found out my partner was a prostitute
Q. Just found out that my partner was a prostitute - apparently a one off that she dreadfully regrets...I love her but am at a loss what to do now...sorry so short but I'm too upset for many details. ...
A. 5 January 2012: I agree. A one-off doesn't mean a prostitute. Sounds like she was desperate and did something that she deeply regrets.
However, there's something you might have left off. Did she have this experience AFTER being with you, or before?
If it w... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheating with S and M mistress?
Q. My boyfriend is into S and M (bondage) He doesn't want to do it with me because he thinks I'm only doing it to please him. Our sex is not great. He complains that he cant get into it because the S and M is what turns him on the most. He is meet...
A. 5 January 2012: It *is* cheating.
Do you know how old the excuse: "You can't satisfy me, so I feel entitled to get it elsewhere" is?
As old as adultery itself.
It's not your fault that he got tangled up in a fetish. You must leave him because if the table... (read in full...)
Do I give him time to figure out what he wants? I've given him chance after chance to decide.
Q. My boyfriend has been terrible at making me feel secure in this relationship. I have worried the entire year that he was keeping me as his 2nd choice back-up plan. I know he has feared losing me as a friend, one who actually accepts and tolerates ...
A. 4 January 2012: First of all, you did the right thing by leaving him.
Second, I have a thought regarding this behavior he exhibited. I actually think he did feel more for you than he let on. I think his texts and such to try to get you back were legitima... (read in full...)
Why do married co-workers take advantage of me because I am single?
Q. Why do my co-workers who are married and/or have children take advantage of the fact that I'm single and childless especially when it comes to changing shifts or working overtime? I seem to always end up with the worst shifts, last minute changes ...
A. 3 January 2012: It's not because you're single. It's because you can't say "no", and even when you try to, you can't stay resolved. Deep down, you actually think you should be the one to step up because you have no family.
I agree with Eyes. If someone ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with a girl who isn't a Christian?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am a very strong Believer and follower of Jesus Christ (in other words, I'm a Christian) and I think I'm in love with a girl that isn't Christian. Is this alright? Should I go for this girl and ask her out? Sincerely, ...
A. 2 January 2012: You're 13-15? From the sound of this question, it sounds like you've been taught things from your parents and from church about dating people who are "non-Christian" and have been taught passages of scripture from the New Testament such as "don't ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to love one child more than your other?
Q. This might be a very "rough" question.. But, let's say you have 2 children. Would it be normal to love one more then the other? Or, let's say you were put in a situation where only one of your children would live, and you had to choose which one ...
A. 31 December 2011: Assuming that the age bracket you've posted in is accurate for your age, I'm wondering if you're worried that your parents have different "levels" of love for different members of your family?? I can honestly tell you that if the situation ever a... (read in full...)
An ex wife, an Autistic son, a crazy ex girlfriend, and another son-that's my B/f's life. Any thoughts on how best to handle this situation?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for nearly 2 years. We were talking about marriage..etc. He has been divorced for over 10 years and has a 10 year old Autistic son from his previous marriage. He is a dedicated father and pays ...
A. 30 December 2011: The answer to how to handle the situation hinges entirely and absolutely on the results of the paternity test.
If the child is proven to be his, break up with him, because then it would be clear that he cheated on you five months into your rel... (read in full...)
B/f can't have children, when I asked him if I changed my mind about wanting them, he said "go find someone else"
Q. I met a guy who had a vasectomy and I didn't want kids either so we were dating for 2 years but I've asked him recently what if I change my mind and he says go find someone else. Should I go now or wait and see if my feelings change? I felt kind of ...
A. 30 December 2011: You're in the wrong. He's backed up his permanent feelings towards having children with getting a vasectomy. You're pulling a "bait and switch" on him by entering into a relationship with one mindset, then changing it, and then getting pissed at ... (read in full...)
Husband (also doctor) addicted to teen porn...just told me he hates me for asking him
Q. My husband has admitted to being addicted to porn years ago but it was never a real issue because he hid it. I recently borrowed his laptop and he had over 89 bookmarks of 'teen' porn and he used the name like 'morgage payments' to hid the sites. On ...
A. 30 December 2011: He's an addict. Porn is his drug. "Teen" porn is like "barely legal", meaning 18 is still teen in the industry.
However, the real issue is that his constant watching of porn and its interference in your marriage and your sex life is the big issu... (read in full...)
My fiance doesn't want to disown the child that he is said to have fathered with this dubious woman, for fear of hurting the child!! What do I do?
Q. Could anyone who has been through this help. My fiance has a child. It appears that no one in the world believes the child is his. The mother became pregnant within a month of them getting together. It has now surfaced that she was sleeping with ...
A. 30 December 2011: How to proceed is based on the child's age, but I think he should get a paternity test done at any rate. If the child is old enough that he identifies your fiance as "daddy", then it's noble and right that he doesn't want to disown the child, as ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation okay if you're saving your virginity for marriage?
Q. I am certain on not having sex before marriage as I am a christian, but I masturbate... I know its dirty and i shouldn't do it but I just love it and I can't stop, I maybe do it at least once a week. Will god forgive for masturbating since I am ...
A. 30 December 2011: I want to address the post from the anonymous male user regarding the bible and "wasting the semen". He's referring to the story of Er, Onan, and Shelah, and it absolutely has nothing whatsoever to do with semen wasting.
According to the bible, E... (read in full...)
My Gf still checks her ex's facebook account, should I be worried?
Q. What should I think about my girlfriend checking her xboyfriends facebook page even though she unfriended him and can't see anything but his profile pic which isn't even a picture of him? He was a bit of trouble in our relationship in the begi...
A. 30 December 2011: You should be concerned. If she's still checking it every day, that means she is not over him. However, it might not be that she still has feelings for him as in she would drop you in a second. It's more likely that the breakup was nasty and her ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation okay if you're saving your virginity for marriage?
Q. I am certain on not having sex before marriage as I am a christian, but I masturbate... I know its dirty and i shouldn't do it but I just love it and I can't stop, I maybe do it at least once a week. Will god forgive for masturbating since I am ...
A. 28 December 2011: There is no, and I mean NO reference to masturbation being remotely considered a sin in the bible, so there's nothing to forgive for you doing it.
Your feelings of "dirtiness" are in place because of longstanding social views on sexual pleasure... (read in full...)
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