A
female
age
26-29,
*neCryingAngel
writes:Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 weeks and we've been through so much trouble already! A few days after we got together he was going on at me because I had cheated in my last relationship, well, it was a drunken snog that I severely regretted and afterwards I apologised and broke up with the guy, it would have been unfair to continue a relationship that we were unhappy with. Anyway, now I'm in this new relationship and he lectures me and argues with me that I'm a cheater and I'm apparently going to cheat on him - some of the things he says reminds me of my counsellor "Just take 5 minutes and put yourself in my position!" I feel like he's talking down to me, belittling me!!He gets upset when he finds out I'm hanging out with guys, goes into rants about how I drink too much with men when in truth I rarely drink!I also have a gut feeling that he's cheating on me, I don't know why but I've never been wrong before! I've been cheated on 7-8 times before and my gut feeling was always right!He's very aggressive, easily angered. He has a habit of making this aggression known, he's never been physically abusive TO me but I've witnessed it.I don't know what to do, we've only been going out for a short while, I'd feel bad calling it quits so soon, doesn't help that we see each other everyday at college...is it worth even bothering to continue??
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female
reader, OneCryingAngel +, writes (15 January 2012):
OneCryingAngel is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your answers! I thought it was only fair to let it last a little while longer, just to see what he's like as a whole, not just the side I've seen so far! I've pretty much decided I'm going to end it, we have very little in common, we argue about little things, and he's so clingy and possessive...it's annoying.As rightly pointed out, he knew what he was getting in to when he asked me out, unfortunately - I didn't!It is rare I go out for a drink, it's not worth the pain the morning after!! But he's been automatically assuming that when I don't answer his constant texts/messages/calls that I'm out drinking and flirting with other guys...he makes 'jokes' about how slaggy I am. It's not very funny! I'm not taking it anymore...he says he's not a woman beater but he's more than happy to kick the cr*p out of walls and doors and inanimate objects right in front of me, he's trying to scare and control me...I think...so I'm definitely going to put a stop to it!! Thanks again for all your help :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): "new relationship and he lectures me and argues with me that I'm a cheater"
Three things to do in such a case.
Quit drinking yourself.
Quit seeing him.
Quit treating yourself like you are trash.
The operative word is just "quit" because this isn't good for you.
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (9 January 2012):
 leave him and end this relationship. You have had all these problems after only 3 weeks! If he is like this it will only get worse.
Also your right to trust your instinct. When my ex started accusing me it was her that was cheating.
Get out of this relationship and find a guy who will treat you right and love you for who you are. There are plenty of us good honest single around.
If in doubt remember "life is too short to be unhappy"
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (8 January 2012):
 No, break up and delete all contact details. He is not a good bet for the future.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Heh, well, break up! I'm sure you'd feel worse if he beat the crap out of you than if you were to break up with him.
As for his belittling you as a cheater, yeah, people who cheat have a good possibility of being serial cheaters. I hope you've learned your lesson and will not be cheating on someone again.
However, his dating you knowing that you cheated disqualifies him from lecturing you and giving you a hard time. If he agreed to date you, he should check his moral soap box at the door and let the past stay in the past.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 No No No! Move on there are plenty more fish in the sea.
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