A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is a sort of late question but I've been hesitating. I didn't want to resort to this website but here it goes.My boyfriend and I love the story The Gift of Magi. It's a short story about a young married couple that struggles with purchasing Christmas presents for each other. The wife sells her long hair to buy a watch chain for her husband, and her husband sells his watch to buy beautiful combs for his wife. My boyfriend and I agreed to set our presents around that. We figured it would mean something special, especially since it was such a heart warming story and it would be our first Christmas together with his family.So comes Christmas morning. I give him his present, a watch I've paid about 100 for with some other stuff, like some gaming time (he plays WoW) and a -very- nice jacket that he's been wanting along with a matching couple's necklace (angel wings.) I'm only a college student and I don't work, so paying about 250 or so for his gifts was a bit much for me, but I really didn't mind because it's Christmas and I wanted to spoil him a little!Now, I'm happy he got me a present, but I was expecting it to be combs. Like, the decorative ones you see girls put in their hair, or pins or something. Hair accessories. Anyways, he ended up giving me a necklace and some other stuff like a cardigan and an empty scrapbook that we were to decorate together. I'm GLAD he got me that, I really am. I think it's sweet and thoughtful but..He thanked me for his gift, and I was a little confused. But I didn't say anything, I thanked him, and we continued opening presents.Now, he receives a present from his mother. It's an Ed Hardy watch that cost 150. I know because we saw the price tag. He immediately put it on instead of putting it away like he did with the stuff I got him, and it really did tear me up a little.When later in private, I talked about it with him, he just said that he wanted to get me something nice and that combs weren't that expensive and that he really did like my watch and the necklace I gave him. I was still a bit thrown off but decided not to press it.I've been wearing the necklace he bought for me even though I bought the angel necklaces to match with HIM. And it's not that he didn't know, because I showed him the design of it. But he hasn't even touched the watch I gave him.His birthday is coming up soon and I don't know what to get him so this won't happen again. Any tips?Also, am I overthinking it too much?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): The Gift of the Magi is a beautiful story, but the moral of it, at least from my vantage point, is that sacrifice is part of love.
Think of yourself as a character living out your own story, because you can't realistically re create a work of fiction.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2012):
 I too think you are totally OVERTHINKING it all, sorry but that makes the story lose meaning if you just plain "copy" it.
And I too would pay attention to his cues when out and about and plan accordingly. He might like certain music, headset for his gaming and so forth. I believe gifts are a show of affections, not a show of how much you (general you) can afford.
And YouWish, "Jack and the Beanstalk" will never be the same for me! :P
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Umm...where do I start?? I did read Gift of the Magi, and I know it's supposed to be heartwarming, but it's also a cautionary tale about miscommunication! Guess what? You got that message really well!
Christmas is for giving, not to re-enact some fantasy brought about by a book's sentiment. Good thing you two didn't want to re-enact the book "Love You Forever" and have his mom climb up a drain pipe to crawl into your house's window like a stalker in the middle of the night to rock him while he's sleeping, or the Giving Tree where your boyfriend takes an axe to a beloved tree and chops it into smithereens!
Or you could have reenacted "Jack and the Beanstalk" and had sex while shouting "Fee Fi Fo Fum" while eating beans and cow's milk!
(I'm totally kidding on all counts!)
Seriously, and I'm being honest here...he gave you a way better gift than combs. What he gave you was from his heart and was so sweet and wonderful. I'm sorry he hasn't worn your watch yet, but sometimes the best gifts aren't scripted from books.
I agree...ask him what he wants, and if he doesn't tell you (which sometimes getting someone to ask you for a certain gift is like pulling teeth), observe what he does and get him something tailored to him. Best to start with hobbies or interests or collections. You did great with the WoW time! If he's a player, that's awesome!
Also, stay within reason! If you couldn't afford $250, then don't get that! I know you wanted to recreate that spirit of sacrifice from the book, but that is not the way to go. Learn from the book's message about the perils of the lack of communication, because that's a better message!
Honestly, it's heartwarming, but impractical and kinda nutty that the two characters' lack of communication had given them useless gifts. Actually, the wife comes out the winner because her hair will re-grow. heh.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): I think it is sweet and thoughtful you attempted to recreate the Gift of the Magi story. But it may be a bit presumptuous of you to expect it to be re-enacted totally. Your BF may not be as romantic or thoughtful in the same way as you, but remember, the story of "the Gift" is that both couples gave up something treasured to get the other something. He wanted to get you something nicer than combs, and that says volumes about his motives. Him wearing one watch shouldn't be taken as a sign of dislike towards your gift...after all, one usually only wears one watch. What is more irritating is that his Mom didn't coordinate with you to avoid this problem.The moral of "the Magi" is to be selfless in love. Comparing price tags and holding expectations on someone for a specific gift kinda goes in the opposite direction. Be glad you both put thought into the gift giving. Yes, if he followed the plan, he could have done something special like gotten you a comb piece of jewelry, or a nice, leather bound copy of the story itself or something, but he sounds practical, not philosophical.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): Gift of the Magi is a nice story, but I think the spirit of it is a little lost on a reenactment unless you were willing to give cut your hair for him and he was willing to sell a watch for you...or some comparable sacrifice. So, I wouldn't be too upset about not getting hair accessories.About the watch; if he receives two watches he does have to choose one and if he opened these presents at his mom's home and if he still lives with her, then I can understand that chose to wear hers. There's also the possibility that he just likes her watch better than the one you gave him..which isn't a comforting thought I know, but it just might be the case. How do you avoid this again? Don't script gift-giving for starters, that way you'll both be surprised and less disappointed with what you get because your expectations won't be so high. Also, I would pay less attention to the monetary value of gifts...that way you won't be tempted to constantly compare your gifts. Give him a gift you'll think he'll like and appreciated. Listen to what he wants, don't ask him. If he's mentioned wanting something or he eyes something in a store, make a mental note and surprise him. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but personally, I think it's poor taste to discuss gift giving before giving the gift.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 I do believe you are over thinking this. He seemed to like the gifts you got him and he clearly put some thought and effort into what he got you. People react to gifts and surprises in their own way so don't measure HIS joy by how YOU would react. As for his birthday, the answer is simple. Ask him exactly what he wants (within a certain budget) and get him something from that list. He doesn't have to be totally surprised to enjoy it.
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