A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i have tried to have sex twice with my boyfriend but every time, it really hurts and he makes me bleed. the first time we tried it, it didn't get very far in and i started bleeding. the second time which was two days ago he put it all the way in but it was hurting a lot so i made him stop. and immediately after that i felt like i was peeing myself so i went to the bathroom and there was blood down to my toes. i don't know if this is normal because i was still a virgin or because there's something wrong with me? or maybe his penis is too big for me? but each time we have tried i bleed.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (7 January 2012):
Hello,
From a male perspective, I would say that you have lost your virginity. I believe because things are new to you and strange, you are not quite relaxed yet and this makes you "smaller" down there while he is "normal" size. But, more practise will definitely help and things will get a lot more comfortable. As an idea, why not give "activities" a break for a few weeks and then slowly start again. You will then not be making love from a first time perspective and things will feel normal. Hope things work well.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 January 2012):
I would suggest a Gyno visit. And stick with non-penetration sex for now.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 January 2012):
Make sure next time you get LOTS of foreplay (the average woman takes 20 minutes of continuous stimulation to be fully there). It will make you a lot less tight and give more lubrication. You should also go buy some lube, I promise it will make things way way way easier. If you continue to experience pain after those tips though, you might want to visit a gynecologist to make sure everything is OK.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 January 2012):
First of all, you're okay!
Second, the worst is over!!
If you're worrying, do like Tisha said and maybe have a reassuring visit to a Dr, but truthfully, everything you talked about is normal.
Some girls bleed a lot when they lose their virginity. Others not so much. You half did the deed first, and then finished it off second.
Did you know that bloody sheets were the "proof" of virginity in the old times? That's been happening since the dawn of time, and there was enough blood to pool on them. That sucked big time for those who didn't bleed much, as they were sometimes accused of promiscuity. Geeze.
It won't hurt like this again. Are you two using lots of lubricant and he's being gentle? I'd keep using the X-Y jelly, and go slow! It won't keep bleeding and hurting like this. Give it a few more days to heal up, and you'll find that it'll feel a lot better!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 January 2012):
Have you visited a gynecologist yet? I think if you are this concerned and worried about it, a visit to her (or him) might set your mind at ease. She could examine you and tell you if your hymen is the problem here! A quick visit and well worth the time, especially as you are describing quite a lot of blood coming out!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 January 2012):
It is completely normal for a virgin to bleed believe me. He got inside you which is the worst part. Just try and ignore the blood next time. Make sure you both have plenty of foreplay so you are turned on and then use plenty of lube...yes the first minute or two may be uncomfortable and painful but after that you will feel much better I promise, you just need to make sure that the area is completely wet and use plenty of lube if needed. Don't worry honey this is completely normal.
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