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Is masturbation okay if you're saving your virginity for marriage?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am certain on not having sex before marriage as I am a christian, but I masturbate... I know its dirty and i shouldn't do it but I just love it and I can't stop, I maybe do it at least once a week. Will god forgive for masturbating since I am saving actual sex for marriage?

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A male reader, 5678bam United States +, writes (2 January 2012):

Personally, I used to do it several times a day, but I gave it up. The Bible tells us not to lust or fill our minds with unclean thoughts, and since I haven't found away to masturbate without lusting, then I stay away from it. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but totally worth it knowing that I'm living the way God wanted me to. God puts struggles in everyone's lives and this is one that TONS of people deal with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011):

Masturbation is the most utterly normal everyday thing. Millions of people of all ages do it every day and still live happy useful productive lives.

There is nothing 'wrong' whatsoever about masturbating.

Masturbation several times a day is Ok.

Oh that some unfaithful partners would masturbate rather than go to another person for sexual relief.

Masturbation will never result in a Sexually tranmitted disease.

Masturbation causes you no harm and gives you pleasure. People have happily done it for millions of years.

And millions of people will continue to masturbate

If anyone has ever lied to you about masturbation then they are being most underhand. They are not telling you the truth if they dare to claim, through ignorance or through maliciousness, that any harm can come from masturbation.

However just as what transpires between two people is private, so is what you do in private. It is no one elses business but your own. And you are doing no harm to yourself whatsoever.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (30 December 2011):

YouWish agony auntI want to address the post from the anonymous male user regarding the bible and "wasting the semen". He's referring to the story of Er, Onan, and Shelah, and it absolutely has nothing whatsoever to do with semen wasting.

According to the bible, Er was "wicked" so the Lord killed him. (doesn't say why he was wicked). Onan was commanded to marry his widow Tamar because Er had no children, and that meant no heir. In that day, according to law, Onan's firstborn son by his brother's widow would be considered his brother's, and would then inherit his brother's share of his father's inheritance.

Onan refused to give his brother Er an heir, and this also meant that Onan himself would inherit his brother's portion as next in line. In that day, the oldest child got a "double inheritance" than the youngers. So Onan denied his wife and his brother an heir by performing coitus interruptus, or "spilling the seed" on the bed or floor. This was NOT masturbation. This was the pull out method so that he could deny children. According to Scripture, it was THAT denial and refusal to have a child become his older brother's heir that killed him, not the act of spilling semen.

There is no reference to masturbation, and it wasn't pulling out that caused his death or "Wasting semen".

Sorry to those I just put to sleep with this post. :D

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2011):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntWho ever told you it is wrong and dirty gave you some very bad advise!

There is nothing wrong with exploring your own body and as other have said the bible does not outlaw self pleasure.

It will make it a lot easier to refrian from sex, especially when you are older, if you are getting pleasure from somewhere.

Well done for having such strong convictions to late till marriage btw its lovely to see young people that know their mind.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOn sweet darling, ONCE a WEEK? That’s all?

IF God did not want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter…. They reach where they reach for a reason ya know…

As long as you are not giving up activities to stay home and masturbate I see nothing wrong with it at all.

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

Masturbation is perfectly natural. Its a basic desire built into the core of your biology. Sex is ingrained into our psychology, physiology, biology, brain chemistry, and natural processes of our bodies.

In the last few centuries the church has used the idea of guilt from sex to keep prospects coming to their pulpits and churches for forgiveness, thus keeping them tithing and giving more time and money to the organization.

If you want to save yourself for marriage, that is completely your choice, but don't let religion guilt you into feeling bad about a perfectly natural part of the human experience. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

God doesn't forgive masturbation because it is not a sin; if He didn't want humans to masturbate, He wouldn't have placed our genitals precisely at arms' length.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

As far as know the bible says in old testament that "you shouldnot waste(drop) the semen" may be which could have created another child in God's meaning, and in bible somewhere it is mentioned, that he(God) destroyed the one who used to waste lot of semen, that means God is angry about such activity, however, if you think scientifically if a person thinks about a women in his mind i.e, 2nd memory in brain then it produces hormones through a gland and produces sperm and once sperm created in body must expell, therefore thinking about women itself is a sin before marriage as Jesus says if a person thinks about a women has already committed sex in his mind in God's sight, so better not to watch pornography or any such thing and commit sin. To be pure, if not get marry soon for solution

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

DoubleM agony auntMasturbation is ok. If you want to, then do it, if not then don't. I think you are belating this issue to nowhere.

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A male reader, lakers_lover09 United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

The bible never comes out and claims masturbation as sin which is important because the bible is clear on most sexual sins .

I think people use their own interpretations of the bible on to others.

Its better you masterbate than give your purity away to some immature punk right?

Read the posts of the bible that pertain to your life such as this.

yes about what YOU feel god is trying to tell you..not the church or above else. Good luck :)read this link for solid info

http://www.tbm.org/masturbation.htm

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

The teaching of the Catholic Church is not to outlaw masturbation as a deep sin, but to present it as an "intrinsically and gravely disordered action" contrary to the virtue of chastity. See paragraph 2352 of the Catechism.

If you read the full paragraph you will see that the Church does not anticipate its members will succeed in avoiding masturbation and directs those hearing confession on this matter to be understanding, particularly if the person in young.

In short, the view of the Church is that God will readily forgive you for masturbating.

This stance of the Church has been severely criticised and many people of faith disagree with the Church's teachings surrounding sexuality, feeling that the Church's teaching of an ascetic life is a hold over from a past age of monastery life and that the teaching fails to fully explain the Lord's gift of sexual pleasure. In the view of these people masturbation is an expected action by a sexual being, and thus carries no inherent sin and is not in opposition to the virtue of chastity.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (28 December 2011):

YouWish agony auntThere is no, and I mean NO reference to masturbation being remotely considered a sin in the bible, so there's nothing to forgive for you doing it.

Your feelings of "dirtiness" are in place because of longstanding social views on sexual pleasure and nothing to do with actual biblical mandates. There was a time where the body parts themselves were considered "dirty".

If you're saving sex for marriage, then masturbation is absolutely a great idea, as it releases sexual tension without compromising your personal religious conviction.

Like I said...there is nothing that has been commanded against masturbation. Don't believe me? Read cover to cover.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011):

Masterbation is not dirty, it is perfectly normal and healthy! God made the body so how is doing something to yourself in private bad ? Have fun with it it doesn't have to be just once a week . I used to have the same guilt that you are having .

Masterbating will also help you on your mission to stay sex free until marriage because you will be relieving your self instead of having the energy pent up and exploding when you have a guy touch you , you'll be able to say no a lot easier to those urges that a guy will give you knowing that you can get rid of them your self

Goodluck

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