A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a huge emotional turmoil these days. I was in a serious relationship with this guy for almost a year and a half but soon things turned sour for the worse. We did LOVE each other A LOT. There was nothing left but fights and tears and most of the issues cropped up after our rel turned into a long distance burden. He loved me a lot but at the same time MISTREATED ME BAD and made my life hell. And yes, he did break my trust many times. He used to hurt me bad and then kiss my feet to apologise! Block me from his profiles and then unblock me! Dysfunctional! Mentally sick i assumed him to be. And then he would repeat the same mistake again! He was unbelievably dedicated and loving back home that even others were amazed and jealous of our relationship. He used to spend all his time with me when at home but used to change colors when back abroad for studies. I haven't understood his confusing behaviour till date. I can't even elucidate how he screwed up my life and how i used to hate him. I was sick and tired of his lies and fishy behaviour and brokeup 7 months ago. But he kept calling and texting and begged me to take him back. I was so happy when i was living in this illusion that i have moved on and dated 3 guys but couldn't love any of them and didn't get in a relationship with any. Still rueful i was stupid enough to answer his call last week after ignoring him for 7 months and got to know he'll be back home JUST FOR A MONTH and gonna live abroad, for more than a year i suppose! He wants to meet me but i don't wanna get in that long distance disaster again which literally ruined my life. I can't stop thinking about him these days and feel miserable when i think about his life there, his philandering and affairs but i don't want those days back! Sometimes i think he loved me a lot, i should not over think and filter facts from fiction, this might be my last chance to see him again. But sometimes i think meeting him again might disrupt my peace of mind (already disrupted these days!)I don't know what to do. I think i still love him but i can't trust him again. His behaviour was so complicated and confusing that i haven't understood it yet but can never forgive him. Friends say he's too sly and using me for his emotional needs just like he used to. Treated me like his doormat, ignore me all the time n call me up to dump all his life's problems.. Used me only for his emotional needs. He says he loves me a lot and was mad over the fact that why did i move on! :D Expects me to wait for him after treating me like his doormat. I'm confused! Should i meet him or not? Help!
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affair, jealous, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kateAudyna  +, writes (18 April 2012):
Heyyyyyyyyy,
The same thing happened to me,he made me as his doormat
he said he loves me and he only came to me when he feels HORNY,,,,i was stupid by letting him did this to me for the last two long years,,but not anymore now..i STOPPED him now and i feel happy and stronger letting him go
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 January 2012):
 You already know the outcome, so why do it?
It really doesn't matter if you "think" he loves you or not, you should want better for YOURSELF. Don't be with someone because you think "better the devil I know" - no take the time to get to know a guy, then date him, the have a relationship.
This guy will not change, no matter how much you let him WALK all over you.
Honey, you already know he is BAD for you. Drop him like it's hot. BLOCK him and ignore him and if he does talk to you, don't fall for his crap. LOOK at a persons actions, see if they match their words, usually with guys like him, they don't. He is abusive and controlling. If you don't stop this cycle, you will keep taking him back and think less and less of yourself. Have some self-respect! Accept that YOU deserve better.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (8 January 2012):
 NO no no no no. He is no good at all. Try someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): I just saw the title and thought NO NO NO NO NO. There is someone better out there, trust me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): Thanks YouWish, Rescuer and Shadow Rose for your responses. These were a great help.. Really!I feel so much better now. :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Why, why why, WHY WHY?!??!
This guy sounds like a masochist's dream. He'll trash you body and soul, and you'll come back to him with a "Please, sir, may I have another?"
This time, tell your ego to take a hike, and take all of those goofy bonding chemicals that are causing you to pine for a piece of human garbage with it.
Time for you to use your brain, discipline your heart, and do something that's good for you! Seriously, if you had a best friend, a sister, or a mother who had a guy like this in her life, would you be so indecisive in how to advise her? Of course not!
You can either keep being the emotional toilet for this guy, or you can rise up and tell him to stay the hell away from you forever, and then you can give your brain and heart an emotional enema, flush out the crap, flush him out of your very existence, and find a true man who is a keeper, instead of crawling back to this vomitous man.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (8 January 2012):
 Do not meet up with him. You said it yourself. He treated you like a doormat. You are NOT a dormat, and you deserve better than someone who thinks of you so lowly!
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