A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do my co-workers who are married and/or have children take advantage of the fact that I'm single and childless especially when it comes to changing shifts or working overtime?I seem to always end up with the worst shifts, last minute changes because someone's child is ill or having to do someone elses work for an hour or two because they've got to pick up their husband from the station or take the kids to there gran's or whatever.The "favours" don't get returned because when I ask they're all much to busy.It's very unfair and management turn a blind eye.I've tried to be assertive but it's always such a drama or emergency and it's going to be my fault if it goes wrong besides which they will then all get angry and accuse me of not helping out where I can which is part of company policy.So lots of guilt.Does anyone have any suggestions?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 It's not because you're single. It's because you can't say "no", and even when you try to, you can't stay resolved. Deep down, you actually think you should be the one to step up because you have no family.
I agree with Eyes. If someone asks you for a favor, make them bargain for it instead of just rolling over and saying "sure". If you want a Friday night, or a day off, bargain with the one who wants your time, as in "I'll stay late for you tonight if you come in early for me tomorrow" so that you can sleep in or whatever.
Remember, their emergency isn't YOUR emergency. If they ask, get something in return on the spot since they don't reciprocate later.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Talk to your immediate supervisor, make sure they are aware. Then the next time someone wants you to cover for them you make it clear that they will have to pay you back or you won't do it. Tit for tat. People are only taken advantage of because they allow themselves to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012): I went through this a lot in my previous job at a bank. I finally stood up for myself and started to say no, and when they pulled out the "oh but I have a family and responsibilities to my family and your single so you have the time", I ended up saying to them I will help you out when I can, but just because I am single doesn't mean that my time away from work is any less important than yours is. I know you have family responsibilities, but if I am ever going to have my own family, i need the time to be able to find that someone to share my life with, and I am not going to find him by working all the time and covering for everyone everytime I am asked. I will help when I can, and you know that, but I can't do it all the time, i hope you understand. My colleagues understood once the initial shock wore off, they realised that I had made a good point. Hope this helps. good Luck
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