A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My BF says he is 38, but i found out he is 45. And i'm 27. Should the lie or the big age difference bother me? Is it too much of a difference? We are planning to take the r/ship to the next level. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, uroboros  +, writes (7 January 2012):
the age difference wouldn't bother me, but the fact he lied to you about something as important as his age is a massive issue! it's obvious you WOULD find out anyway!
i wouldn't trust him anymore.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Clearly he thinks the age difference matters, or else he wouldn't be lying about it. If a person is deceitful when it comes to the most basic information about themselves, how can you expect them to be truthful about more touchy, uncomfortable subjects? I, too am 27 and 45 is a bit creepy if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Yikes!
Any business who found out that an employee lied about their credentials (i.e. education, age, employment history, criminal record) would be fired on the spot if they were exposed. It wouldn't matter how good they were since being hired. Human Resources would do it immediately.
Likewise, this guy lied to you, and it was a big one. Doesn't matter what he's like after that, because a relationship started on a lie is doomed. What else would he lie about? His marital status? His finances? His criminal record?
That's a creepy thing to do, and if I were you, I'd cut my losses and run as fast as you can.
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A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo +, writes (6 January 2012):
 I don't understand why a man would lie about his age if he wanted to be serious with you. Maybe at first he didn't know that you and him would ever be serious and that's why he lied. I'm not sure. But the age difference shouldn't be a huge factor if the both of you want the same things in life. If you haven't confronted him about the lie then you should and make a judgement call after hearing his response. Make sure that you let him know that you or anyone else for that matter, likes to be lied to. Good luck I hope everything works out for the best:)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 January 2012):
 I think both the huge lie AND the age difference should be all it takes for you to close this chapter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): What does "the next level" mean? Can I ask how you found out?
The age difference isn't an issue in my opinion. But, if he lies to you about his own identity and simultaneously claims he want to take the relationship seriously, then there are 2 possibilities, both of which could be true: He has no intention of truly taking the relationship seriously and/or he grossly underestimates your intelligence.
Sounds like it's time to end this one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): That's a pretty big ass lie right there OP, he completely deceived you. He's a bit old now to play the 'I didn't want to scare you off' card too. He should know better than that, at 45 he should know you can't build a long term relationship without honesty and trust. He decided to lie instead.
Age is a different matter as the other have said and will have a lot of issues related to that, a lot OP. It will make it tough to make it work but it can be done but the lie to me was massive, it shows that he's perfectly willing to lie to you about very important things just to bag you. Not good at all and not the best way to have a relationship. I personally wouldn't go any further with a person who made up such a huge lie.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 The lie is important. why the heck lie about something so trivial as age?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2012):
 THE LIE is the problem.
what else is he lying about?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): A lie is a lie. The age difference is a separate issue. What you should be asking is not 'is he too old for me?' but 'should I be with someone who thought it was acceptable to lie to me?'
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