I don't feel guilty about cheating on my wife until she cries, but even then I secretly enjoy it
Q. Hi Ok,i have got myself in a bit of situation, all self inflicted and im not looking for sympathy just advice. I met my partner on line 4 years ago, i was serving in the forces and whilst i was still married, we were not together, i was seeing som...
A. 8 March 2012: Sounds to me like you two deserve each other, to be honest. You are a cheater who cheated on his first wife, then met and married another cheater who's now cheating on you. So the two of you can live cheatfully ever after.
So what are you look... (read in full...)
My boyfriend forgot my birthday?
Q. I waited to see if he would remember, and when he didnt I sent him a text at the end of the day saying the days date. I was expecting him to say sorry and then try to make it up to me in some way. Instead, he sent me a message which was comp...
A. 8 March 2012: Actually, what he's doing is a form of manipulation. He's the one that screwed up, yet his overboard display of self-loathing is intended to get you to feel sorry for HIM. He doesn't mean a word of what he's saying, but rather it's to get out of ... (read in full...)
I led her on and feel horrible now.
Q. I Dated this girl for about 2 months and things weren't going too well for us mainly because she had had a rough past growing up and in past relationships. There always seemed to be something going on and she was massively depressed a lot ...
A. 8 March 2012: First of all, you're not a dick.
Second of all, she does have a lot of baggage. You can't and shouldn't have to take on her very happiness. She, and only she, is responsible for her own mental, physical, and emotional well being. You've t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 7 March 2012: I don't think we're talking about the boyfriend grabbing boxes of cereal of pounds of meat and taking them home with him, or taking frozen foods or deodorant or laundry detergent out of your house.
He's staying for the weekend, and they've ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 6 March 2012: The two of you see each other on weekends. So, whenever you two go out, he pays after 6 months. You say you're "very generous", so what does that mean?
So if he's paying for dinners out, and you two stay on weekends, and he's raiding your fri... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 8 months! B/f plays games on PC but won't play with me!
Q. hi im a 45yr woman been with my partner almost 6yrs he play pc games every night in the bedroom we have not had sex in 8 months there is no intimacy at all not even a cuddle i have discussed about the pc but he dosent care its so awkard now that i ...
A. 5 March 2012: You've discussed the PC, but have you pointed out the real issue to him, the lack of physical intimacy that you're really having a problem with?
It's easy to deflect and start an argument about the PC, but that's really not the issue. the PC i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't going to get me a present for my b-day but has money to buy a new game
Q. my birthday is coming up (in two days), and i had some friends and my boyfriend around yesterday to watch some films and throughout the day, me and my boyfriend cuddled and kissed etc.. today, me and my boyfriend were talking, and he said 'i may n...
A. 4 March 2012: Mass Effect 3 player here too. Good thing my husband's birthday wasn't November 11th, because after I bought Skyrim, it was a long time before I joined the world of the living. My son thought I was awesome though...I got a second copy for him.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't going to get me a present for my b-day but has money to buy a new game
Q. my birthday is coming up (in two days), and i had some friends and my boyfriend around yesterday to watch some films and throughout the day, me and my boyfriend cuddled and kissed etc.. today, me and my boyfriend were talking, and he said 'i may n...
A. 4 March 2012: Yeah, he might be saying that to throw you off because he is getting you something. Don't get upset or say anything until after your birthday!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on vacation and I'm feeling anxious. I don't like feeing this way!
Q. My boyfriend has been on vacation for the past few days and will be gone for a week more, and I've felt nothing but anxious the whole time. I can't understand why. I haven't heard from him very much but I can understand that, considering he IS on ...
A. 4 March 2012: You know how sometimes when it's hard to go to sleep at night, the worst possible thing you can do is to try and make yourself sleep? Trying to make yourself sleep just gets you more not sleepy than if you didn't.
I think this is the same in ... (read in full...)
Is it true that women never forget their first sexual partners?
Q. I'm a 30 y/o male, got married when I was 28 I have a 19 month old boy. I love my wife and child. But my question is the following: "when my wife and I had intimacy for the first time she made it very clear and reinstated that she wasn't a vir...
A. 2 March 2012: I concur with everyone on here. I'm not a guy, but I think that a guy gets much more from being a woman's first than a woman gets having sex for the first time. Of course, a woman doesn't forget having sex for the first time, nor does she forget ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions on taking a break and giving your lover space after a horrible argument?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I got into the worst argument we've ever gotten into last Friday. We've been together for almost two years now and that one topped them all. I will be honest that I barely have the energy and strength to expl...
A. 2 March 2012: There's nothing wrong with mental exhaustion. I think that's comparing apples to oranges. I love solitude. A dream vacation for me would be two weeks sailing on the ocean by myself!
But being exhausted and wanting some alone time is differen... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 2 March 2012: OMG...yeah, there is something wrong with your boyfriend. I didn't even know they made cartoon toddler porn! I would as fast as you can break up with him and one of you move out. Going out for 6 months is too soon to be moving in together ... (read in full...)
I tell my b/f that I trust him but I really don't. He cheated!
Q. my bf cheated on me 6 months ago with his best girl mate who he promised me it nothing ever like that between them. he told me half an hour after it happened and said it happened for literally half a minute, when he realized what he was doing he ...
A. 2 March 2012: It's okay! You can give a second chance without trusting. Love and trust are not one and the same. A second chance doesn't automatically mean that trust is granted.
You should be honest and tell your boyfriend that you don't trust him. It's ok... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my FWB guy and I think he's in love with me too. What do I do?
Q. Im in a very complicated fwb situation. We started out as drunk and completly random... he admitted after a few months he kind of had feelings for me, which i hadnt even acknolowdged in myself yet. Few weeks later i see him making out with another ...
A. 1 March 2012: With all due respect, neither of you have any idea what love is. If you did, you wouldn't be worrying about whether or not you'd "cave" while having an argument, and you especially wouldn't be a cheater.
He doesn't know what love is either, ... (read in full...)
I found my husband was looking for sex with a transexual! What should I do?
Q. Last week i went on the history tab on my computer and found a transexual dating site. As i hadn't visited it i checked my husbands emails to find that he had joined this site. I entered his password and found he was looking for a descreet ...
A. 1 March 2012: I agree with So very confused.
You saw that he joined the site. You saw what the site was, and you saw that he was looking for discreet sex with a transsexual.
So what is it exactly that you're waiting for, him to actually get sex and subject ... (read in full...)
What is my ex playing at? He broke my heart all those years ago yet still thinks he can crawl back into my life whenever he feels like it!
Q. Hello, well where to start, im sorry if i babble on this might be a bit long but ill try to make it short.. so a good few years ago when i was 12 i had a relationship with a boy, that lasted a year i'll call him 'G' this relationship was so emotinal...
A. 1 March 2012: Well, T is a piece of work, calling you frigid at age 13, and now trying to get you to cheat on your boyfriend??
This is the part where you cut off all contact with this guy. You have a boyfriend now, so any continuing contact with your ex, no m... (read in full...)
What are your opinions on taking a break and giving your lover space after a horrible argument?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I got into the worst argument we've ever gotten into last Friday. We've been together for almost two years now and that one topped them all. I will be honest that I barely have the energy and strength to expl...
A. 1 March 2012: I'll totally concede, AuntyEm, that you're right in that they're young, so there is room for lessons to be learned. You're also right in that it's likely that if she requires him to talk to her now, he most likely will stubbornly entrench himself ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions on taking a break and giving your lover space after a horrible argument?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I got into the worst argument we've ever gotten into last Friday. We've been together for almost two years now and that one topped them all. I will be honest that I barely have the energy and strength to expl...
A. 1 March 2012: Think about what this is saying though. The subject of the argument they had is irrelevant, which is why I didn't ask.
This guy, in setting this precedent (i.e. disappearing for a week after an argument) that the girl better not even think ab... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to start sleeping together again! What is he playing at? Does he not care how this will affect the kids?
Q. Is my ex partner trying to play mind games? 2 months ago i broke up with my partner of 8 yrs as he can been verbally and physically abusive towards me. He accused me of giving him children he didnt want and ruining his life, i was also accused of ...
A. 1 March 2012: Heh, tell him no and that's the end of it. If you "ruined his life", why does he still want to sleep with you? And why has he been a partner of 8 years? Did he not realized that it takes sperm to fertilize an egg? If he didn't want kids, he ... (read in full...)
I thought he really liked me, but he tried to kiss someone else that night! How do I forget about our amazing kiss and move on?
Q. So I fell for this guy about 3 months ago, and I thought he really liked me. One night he kissed me (he is only the 2nd guy I have kissed) but it was so amazing. He was gentle and lovely. I found out later he tried to kiss someone else that nite. I ...
A. 1 March 2012: He was gentle and lovely, but he was obviously not serious. He didn't attach the emotional significance to that kiss that you did, and if you're 22-25 and this is the second guy you kissed, that makes sense that it would be more momentous to you.
... (read in full...)
What are your opinions on taking a break and giving your lover space after a horrible argument?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I got into the worst argument we've ever gotten into last Friday. We've been together for almost two years now and that one topped them all. I will be honest that I barely have the energy and strength to expl...
A. 1 March 2012: I do have a different view to this situation than AuntyEm, though I respect what she says.
There's nothing acceptable or manly with dragging out an argument for 6 days. Really? 6 days to sulk, pout, and be alone? If I ever dated a guy who sulk... (read in full...)
Ladies, would you go out with a guy who asked you out straight away?
Q. As the above question says, would you go out on a date with a guy who you had only met on that occasion asked you out at the end of the evening? If you perceive that as needy, if a guy fancies a girl when should he ask her out?...
A. 1 March 2012: What's wrong with that? If I were interested, sure I would! You get more heads up than on a blind date or meeting on the internet.
Neediness has nothing to do with it. You see someone you are interested in and you ask her out. That's happened... (read in full...)
I'm afraid this model-gorgeous girl will steal my thunder at my wedding!
Q. Hi everyone! I know this is gonna sound childish and all but here's the thing: I'm getting married in a few months. It's gonna be a very intimate ceremony with just my fiancé and I plus the witnesses and a bunch of friends. Problem is, my fiancé's ...
A. 29 February 2012: You have to keep your eyes on what's the most important at your wedding. It's not an attention pageant, it's a celebration of the marriage and life commitment between you and your soon-to-be-husband. Everyone invited is there to see YOU and your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend impregnated another woman... what do I do?
Q. good day, please advise on my problem. I have a boyfriend of 3 years that i love so much and we have a baby 18 months baby boy, we had our ups and downs in our relationship but we always talk about them and solve them. I just recently found ou...
A. 29 February 2012: Really? There's a question in your mind what to do in this situation? That should really bother you that there *is* a question.
Let me lay out the facts, unhindered by emotional wavering and chemically induced pining:
1. He's been cheating on... (read in full...)
Liking a friend's ex?
Q. I really.like my friend's ex-bf. They have broken up many times when they dated and got back together. They broke up again and now my friend has a new boyfriend. I'm afraid to tell her that I like her ex. But i want to tell her I like him but don't ...
A. 29 February 2012: ASK HER if it's okay. You better start believing in girl code if you want to keep friends! If you value your friend, ask her if it's okay. If she values you and has moved on, she'll be fine with it.... (read in full...)
Should a married woman accept a drink from a man at a bar?
Q. Do y'all think it's OK for a married woman to accept a purchased drink from a man at a bar? My wife often goes out with her girlfriends. Sometimes they sit around a table like a bunch of hens cackling for hours - men run for the hills. But other ...
A. 29 February 2012: I get how you feel, and I get your discomfort!
The real way to set a boundary is to ask her if she would be comfortable if you went out and bought drinks for other women at the bar. How would she feel if some of the girls you ran into were to ... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming he's cheating, how can I make the dreams stop?
Q. I keep having dreams of my fiancee cheating on me! It normally happens if we argue and don't resolve it that night, but yesterday it happened randomly. It starts with some girl in bed with him, and me being really hurt crying, etc. and him telling ...
A. 29 February 2012: Your brain is trying to subconsciously work out a problem. In this case, the dreams popping up after you have unresolved fights are throwing up signals that you are not feeling secure in your relationship, and that the fights are systematically ... (read in full...)
Is it fine to casually date two women before choosing whom I want to be with? Does that make me a player?
Q. After a tough break up last year, I've been only getting out to start dating now. I met one lady at start of February, I've met her 4 other times now, even cooked her breakfast. I met another girl two weeks ago, that wouldn't work out. I met another ...
A. 27 February 2012: Chigirl hit it exactly right on the head.
You're a player if you're getting physical with these girls without their knowing that you're also dating others.
If you're dating more than one to just get to know them, that's fine. However, having ... (read in full...)
I had to leave my daughter with my ex in order to get out of the relationship and now it is so difficult to get to see her, is my ex's behaviour normal?
Q. i was with my ex for a year and half. we went through a lot together. we had a baby girl few months ago. i eventually realised that i have no friends left due to him alienating them all and few family members too. he always kept hold of my bank ...
A. 27 February 2012: Alright. First of all, is the child in any danger? That's #1 above anything. Sounds like as bad as this guy is, he's not a child abuser, nor would he neglect the kid?? Right?
Second, you need to get to court, because this guy doesn't make the... (read in full...)
What can I do to make sex happen more often?
Q. I've been dating my gf for 6 months and for the first 3 months we had sex every day sometimes twice or three times. But the last few months we have been having sec less and less and I don't low why, it doesn't bother me if we don't have sex so often ...
A. 27 February 2012: Sex 2-3 times per day is not usually sustainable, and a good relationship is based on more than just sex. She's misbehaving when you tell her that you're not in the mood, and the "we'll never do it" and the making you leave are all manipulation.
... (read in full...)
Is being able to cook a turn on?
Q. I work as a cook in a kitchen for the last 3 years and recently (like the last year) my work load has gotten larger because I went through a semi-promotion if you will. Because of the work load I've lost 40lbs. The work load entails a lot more ...
A. 27 February 2012: I'm sure the weight loss is always a positive thing, and yes! I remember when I told the guy who was to become my husband that I could cook (I'm sure not nearly as good as you!), he was very excited.
I read not too long ago that the average ... (read in full...)
Every conversation with husband turns into an argument!
Q. My husband of four years is a generally nice and kind man but has very firm views about things. I have tried over the years to put my views forward on things that I am not happy with in the relationship but my views are always walked over or ignored ...
A. 26 February 2012: Your example of his wanting to pop in and see his aunt on the spur of the moment show a bunch of things to me.
Did you offer an alternative and not simply a "no, I don't want to?" For the record, I wouldn't want to pop in on a relative on the s... (read in full...)
Every conversation with husband turns into an argument!
Q. My husband of four years is a generally nice and kind man but has very firm views about things. I have tried over the years to put my views forward on things that I am not happy with in the relationship but my views are always walked over or ignored ...
A. 26 February 2012: First of all, what does it matter if you're the chief earner?? You two are married, and you both do what you do for the household. It just so happens that you make more money. He's pushier and more forceful with his opinions, and that's not going ... (read in full...)
How to fix this after the cheater was cheated.
Q. Well, let's start it this way. I met this girl nearly half a year ago, and when I we started an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for nearly 4 months already. We have always been in a long distance relationship since the start, and I k...
A. 26 February 2012: Are all of the local girls in your area ugly and look like hairy grizzly bears? Why are you looking for long distance relationships? Those do not work very well, especially if they're indefinite with no finite plans to reunite (for example...a 12 ... (read in full...)
I don't want to rekindle our affair but his son just died ...
Q. I ended an affair with a married man 6 months ago. 2 days ago, I found out his son passed away at 21 yrs old 1 day ago. Although I avoid all contact with him, I feel bad for his lost. I want to know shld I call and give my condolences. Something ...
A. 26 February 2012: Female "anon", you didn't think about his wife... the *Mother* of the son who died. She needs her husband's support for her loss as well, and you're advising that this woman go contact him and take him from his wife's side where he belongs, facing ... (read in full...)
What was he thinking? What was this kiss all about?
Q. Not sure if he was trying to kiss me or take advantage or what. My best friend and I were hanging out at his place when it happened and we have dated before, but it didn't work out and we were better friends than lovers. Well I was at his place a...
A. 26 February 2012: Uhh...it sounds like you're not good friends OR lovers. You're at his house crying and stuff because he was mean and upset you, and his response was to get physical with you?
This is the very reason why being "just friends" with exes is a very b... (read in full...)
He doesn't answer if I use my phone, but did when I used a phone unknown to him. Is it over?
Q. I need advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years. He is currently studying for the bar exam. He's had an attitude with me for the last week which I let go because he's under a lot of stress lately. Yesterday, I had my gran...
A. 26 February 2012: There are two parts to my answer, so before you freak out and get upset at my first part, stay and read the second part through to the end.
How often do you call him??? Studying for the bar is more stressful and time-consuming than college ... (read in full...)
Is it possible my boyfriend is too interested in my mom?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating this guy for about 10 months now and recently I'v noticed something peculiar. Whenever he meets my mom, he really 'looks' at her when her back is turned. He even asked me about my parents sex life once when we wer...
A. 25 February 2012: Ahhh, that is very common. Trust me though, your mom is not your competition unless you see HER becoming flirtatious and inappropriate contact is happening (i.e. excessive hugging, your mom calling him, etc.)
The question about the parent's... (read in full...)
Do I wait for someone who fulfills my complex needs or do I settle for kindness?
Q. So I'm wondering if this is the problem: My ex was a true dominant male. I loved the feeling of the power he had over me, physically and mentally. He was simply amazing in bed. But in the end he just didn't want me like I wanted him. The new g...
A. 25 February 2012: Before you think that "waiting for someone" is your first option, don't dismiss the possibility that there might be a side of your new guy you could bring out, meaning if you want rough sex, ask him for it!!
Because the whole "dominant male" th... (read in full...)
Can someone's hugs show how they feel about you? :)
Q. Hello :) I'm friends with the boy I like and we always hug goodbye. Lately,his hugs have been different. When I hug him he holds me really tight and he grabs my head and pushes my head against his chest and puts his fingers through my hair. ...
A. 25 February 2012: If he's the same age as you, he's horny. :)
He's being classy though, but trust me, you being hugged against him tight like he's doing is friendliness, but it's also sexual desire.
He likes you.... (read in full...)
I don't want to rekindle our affair but his son just died ...
Q. I ended an affair with a married man 6 months ago. 2 days ago, I found out his son passed away at 21 yrs old 1 day ago. Although I avoid all contact with him, I feel bad for his lost. I want to know shld I call and give my condolences. Something ...
A. 25 February 2012: No contact. He has a wife with which to experience these life altering things with. No one's forcing you to contact him, and you both have broken up. Sometimes, you have to let go.
... (read in full...)
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