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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What can I do to get to know her better? I've never even spoken to her before!
Q. Chances of getting someone you barely know (only seen a couple of times) into a personal relationship? Hi, I guess I'm just at the point in high school where I guess I started to seriously think about my future life...and ya, I would like to ge...
A. 13 February 2007: I think maybe you should talk to her when her friends aren't around first. If you go up to her while with her group of friends or sit with them and try to intergrate... well, it could be a little weird. One-on-one I think is your best bet. Maybe sit ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that fantasies fulfill me and not actually having intercourse?
Q. I have read somewhere that our subconscious mind understands only images. So does it mean if we can visualize about having an intercourse with someone so that almost similar images are created in subconscious, it is almost equal to a real one? I ...
A. 12 February 2007: Well... are you happy with your current situation? If you're happy, then I think you're perfectly fine. If you've got a girlfriend and she's being neglected due to you not needing sex, well - that could cause problems. But, if there's no one in your ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't we both take turns getting up with the baby at night? Shouldn't he want to help?
Q. If two people have a baby shouldn't both parents do work. I get up in the middle of the night with my 9 month old and he never does. I woke him up the smorning to ask him to watch our son and he wouldn't... shouldn't he want to help to? ...
A. 12 February 2007: That's not very fair of him. The baby is both of yours, and he should put in the time. Have you told him that you're getting very tired, and it would help if sometimes he got up and watched your son sometimes?
You need to sit him down and talk... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and the guy I like is about to turn 19 - will people think this is wrong if we date?
Q. i'm 20 and like this guy who will be 19 nxt month! do you think friends and family would look at me wrongly if i dated him... as he is younger! he is a little immature but we get on so well, and flirt all the time!...
A. 12 February 2007: I think you're totally okay, girl. He's not that much younger than you, and you're both in the same age-range. I think if you're feeling this guy and he is diggin' you, I think it's all good.
Go for it!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
What can I do to get to know her better? I've never even spoken to her before!
Q. Chances of getting someone you barely know (only seen a couple of times) into a personal relationship? Hi, I guess I'm just at the point in high school where I guess I started to seriously think about my future life...and ya, I would like to ge...
A. 12 February 2007: Hey sweetness,
All right, well - if you don't talk to her, I'll bet she'll think you're a whole lot creepier than if you do! If you don't talk to her, you'll just be that "kid who stares"... but if you talk to her, she'll know that you're a good g... (read in full...)
Are there guys out there, that don't look at other pretty women when they are with me?
Q. my ex really did not care to look at other females- I know this because every time we were together and even when females in bikinis passed by he really only concentrated on me and didn't care to look.... he wasnt interested at all... my new ...
A. 12 February 2007: Honey,
I am completely, head-over-heels in love with my boyfriend. I don't lust after anyone else. I really only have eyes for him. He's the only one I want and the only one I'll ever need.
However. It doesn't mean that when I see a super hot ... (read in full...)
She's really busy with her studies. How can I convince her to remain in a relationship with me?
Q. My girlfriend and I had been going out for roughly 3 months, but she recently ended it with me because she says she doesn't have enough time for all her study and me, and that it wouldn't be fair on me. I'm fine with her not being able to see me a...
A. 10 February 2007: I think CD was right on. You should tell her that you really like her and that you really support her prioritizing her studies. Tell her that you're alright not seeing her as much and that you want her to do well in school.
If she really needs sp... (read in full...)
How do I turn my straight mate gay?
Q. Hi. I have this new friend of mine that I have known for two months now who I really like. He does not know I am gay as I am not 'out', but I kind of feel a conection between us, like we talk all the time and go out just together to clubs and stu...
A. 10 February 2007: Hey honey,
You can't "convert" anyone. Could a lady walk into your life and convert you into being straight? However, maybe an excellent way (if you suspect he might be gay or bi) to find out if he is curious is to set an example. YOU come out... (read in full...)
Found my girlfriend on a porn site.. but don't want her to know I've been looking at porno!
Q. I found photos of my girlfriend on a porn site but I don't know what to do. If i tell her i found them she'll know I look at porn......
A. 10 February 2007: Clearly she's comfortable with porn if she's doing it herself! If I were you, the curiousity would kill me. I would definitely ask her - maybe she doesn't even know they're on the net!
I would try to be nice about it, even though you might be... (read in full...)
I met him on the internet and I liked him but he sent me a reccent picture and now I don't find him attractive! How do I break it off with him?!
Q. Dear cupid I am in a very difficult situation right now. He lives in Chicago and I live in England and I'm 18 and he's 27. Ok well basically I've been talking to this guy on the internet and we've agreed to meet up and everything, I've seen his ...
A. 10 February 2007: GEEZ, girl.
You told him you didn't like the picture of him and that you were disappointed? Well, that seems wicked harsh. How would you feel if you sent your picture to a guy you thought liked you and he said, "I don't like that picture of you. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get to know her better? I've never even spoken to her before!
Q. Chances of getting someone you barely know (only seen a couple of times) into a personal relationship? Hi, I guess I'm just at the point in high school where I guess I started to seriously think about my future life...and ya, I would like to ge...
A. 10 February 2007: Well honey, two things.
First off, you don't need to find someone "before it's too late" so young. Goodness, high school is the time to be dating people and figuring out what you want in a future, permanent partner. Tons of people don't find the... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has just "disappeared" after being with him for 6 months. Should I send him a birthday card?
Q. hello, my long distance boyfriend just disappeared after a 6 month relationship without giving me any explanations, and i knew he called his ex girlfriend.. his birthday is coming soon in few days, and im confused if i should send him a birthday ...
A. 10 February 2007: You're being far too kind. I can tell that you're a nice woman who wants to do the right thing. Ordinarily, I always condone kindness... even if it's to someone who doesn't exactly deserve it. But this guy REAAALLLY doesn't deserve it.
Would... (read in full...)
I have these fantasies about kissing girls but when it comes down to it I can't go through with it.
Q. dear cupid i would like to know if this is normal or not, i fantasise about kissing girls and french kissing them etc. but when it comes to the real thing how comes i dont feel like i can go through with it as my stomach turns when i think abo...
A. 10 February 2007: Hey sweetness,
Well, you're totally, totally normal. Fantasizing is the easy part. No chance of rejection, no awkward moments, no bad kissers.... but actually DOING it, well, that's when it gets tricky. Hey - when I think about ACTUALLY kissing ... (read in full...)
how can I deal with a boyfriend and his negative comments?
Q. how can i deal with a boyfriend and his negative comments? ok i have this boyfriend who is so mean to mean i try to be so nice to him but but then he turns right around and then just say something so mean. i mean like so hurtful and i wanted to ...
A. 10 February 2007: Honey, don't "deal" with his negative ways. You can't put up with that. Why "can't" you stop seeing him? Either you have to dump this jerk or tell him straight out that what he says hurts your feelings.
Why do you need a boyfriend who treats y... (read in full...)
If you see someone every day, does the magic fade faster?
Q. I was wondering if anyone can relate to this. I used to have a boyfriend who lived an hour away from me. And the relationship lasted like five months. I was never in love with him and was not really physically atracted to him but I had more fun ...
A. 10 February 2007: I do think that seeing someone everyday can make the relationship fade faster. Living father away from someone can make time you spend together feel that much more special. Right now, you probably feel a little obligated to see each other everyday ... (read in full...)
I can't wear tampons and don't want my new boyfriend to notice I am wearing pads... help!!!
Q. Well i come on my period today and i am out with my new boyfriend sunday night and i don't know what to do as i have tried and tried and tried to wear tampons and just cant seem to get it right! and i dont want to wear a pad so im really stuck! any ...
A. 10 February 2007: Hey girl.
As for the tampons, let me ask you something (and this may seem gross). Can you put your finger in yourself? If you never have, that might be a good way to practice. Then, when you get around to putting a tampon in, get the kind with the... (read in full...)
I find it really hard to hug my girlfriend, I'm just nervous I guess... who can I be less nervous?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 weeks. But i really find it hard to hug her. I just feel really uncomfortable. Everyone is pressuring me and it is really annoying. Please help...
A. 10 February 2007: I remember that feeling. The pressure sucks when you're in middle school, doesn't it? Well, I assure you, after the first time it'll get a lot easier to hug. Don't worry about doing it in front of your friends... maybe next time it's just the two of ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 10 February 2007: Hi there,
I know Stina already said this. Still... maybe when you scroll over the flag of a country, it says the name of it? I was NOT paying attention in geography class.... *sigh*.
Otherwise, I love the site. Don't change it too much!!
xxIn... (read in full...)
Or is it just me... ?
Q. Do all girls always think about male's sex organ?...
A. 9 February 2007: I'll be honest, I don't. When I look at guys, I don't really even register that there's a penis under those clothes. When faced with an actual penis, then I think "penis!!!"... but otherwise, they hardly cross my mind.
Sometimes I thank God I do... (read in full...)
The only time he calls is to ask me to come over and have sex. Is he just using me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 10months now,when I met him I was a virgin, I held out in our relationship for about 5 months Before we had sex. In the beginning the relationship was going great we got along and spent time together almost ...
A. 9 February 2007: Whoa, girl. He is SO using you. And you are, if I may, the ULTIMATE booty call. He calls you up for sex, money, food and rides... with this one, I suggest you ream him out first and then dump his sorry butt. He deserves to get yelled at, and I think ... (read in full...)
I'm not one to buy into the whole popularity fake thing so am I being taken in by this popular girl at school?
Q. There's this really popular girl and she sits next to me in lessons and often copies from my book. The other day she said that I was really nice, which I was quite surprised at. However, my friend mentioned that a piece of writing I'd done was abou...
A. 9 February 2007: This girl sounds like a manipulative piece of work. I'm not saying that she'll never change... you're young. However, she's not going to change any time soon. She sounds like she's using you to copy from your book. Maybe she thinks you're nice ... (read in full...)
I saw this guys picture on line and he blew me away! How can I talk with this guy?
Q. i like some one on-line and i dont know them i saw there pic and it was like i was run over by a bus he seems a nice guy but i dont hink i can talk to him....
A. 9 February 2007: The beauty of finding someone online is that you CAN talk to them. It's not as nerve-racking as actually going up to the guy (and Ponungalungb is right. It might not even be HIM in the picture. But let's assume it is...). You just have to type out ... (read in full...)
Are inter-racial relationships a bad thing?
Q. I am white and i have a black boyfriend is there ANYTHING wrong with that? ...
A. 8 February 2007: NO. There is NOTHING wrong with that. I'm half black and half white (my Mom is white and my Dad is black), and I am allll that. Haha.
Don't let anyone tell you there's something wrong with that. Color is just that. COLOR. Which is better? ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to orgasm in the shower?
Q. Me and my shower.... When i have showers, i can give myself the biggest orgasms ever. Is it wrong? i have been with partners that get me to reach orgasm before and that was amazing but this... its like the world has exploded inside me, when i come ...
A. 7 February 2007: Hey sweetness,
Lucky girl!! And you get to take a shower everyday! Even twice a day!! Fabulous! It's not wrong and you shouldn't stop. You've found pretty much the best sex toy EVER and it's right in your bathroom! Love it!
And hey, mayb... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and female and I'm in love with a 14 year old boy! Is this normal?
Q. I am 16 and i am falling in love with a 14 year old boy when i am usually into men from 19 up to about 22 years old. He says he is in love with me, and he wants to start a relationship with me, the age gap is holding me bk? do you think its kinda ...
A. 7 February 2007: You're totally normal. Yes, at your age girls are usually going for someone older, but just because you took a different turn and are crushing on someone younger, that's not weird. When I was a senior, I dating a sophomore (I was 17, he was 15), and ... (read in full...)
Is virginity important and how old were you all, when you lost it?
Q. when is the average age to lose your virginity becuase most people these days are losing it younger and put you in a position where you think of how far you went with a boy. How old was you when you lost your virginity? Is virginity important? i am ...
A. 6 February 2007: Hey sweetness,
I was 19 when I lost my virginity. When I was 14 I had SWORE to myself that I would lose my virginity by the age of 16. 16 rolled around, and all though I had had my opportunities, I just couldn't talk myself into doing it. In fact,... (read in full...)
After 18 Months, I feel the bind of always HAVING to text to make her happy is too much!!!
Q. Dear Cupid My girlfriend and I exchange little "muah" text messages in the morning. After 18 months I'm getting a little tired of the routine and would rather call. In the past when Ive been busy or forgot to, she's reacted with tremendo...
A. 6 February 2007: Dragonette is dead on.
Read it. Read it twice!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Ever since this guy made a provocative statement to me in the bar, I dream of having sex with him! How do I act around him..now?
Q. So I was at a bar with my husband my girlfriend and her husband (all mutual friends) and I know he has “checked me out” before and of course it is always flattering but in one of those he leaned over and said to me “if you don’t stop showing me your ...
A. 5 February 2007: Treading on dangerous waters here, girl.
Now, I don't think it's wrong that you're having sexy thoughts about this guy. Let's face it - if someone (even a friend's husband) said something like that to me, I might be having fantasies too. However,... (read in full...)
I made a 'bitch book' and someone found it at school...now everyone hates me! Help?
Q. i made a bitch book and i regret it, but some in my school has found it, and everyone hates me at the moment! what should i do?? ...
A. 5 February 2007: Did you watch Mean Girls??
Or... Harriet the Spy?
Both of those movies have the same dilemma you're in. Apologize, and maybe write little personal notes to everyone that you wrote about saying you're sorry.
Some people won't forgive you... (read in full...)
He was unavailable to take my call...and I'm being suspicious! Am I being silly or what?
Q. hi been with my b/f for over 2 years..we spent the whole day together yesterday and he took me home at night. I got there at about 9:40. I did ask him to call me later to say nite...1:15 am or so came, i decided to call and say night..a lot of ...
A. 5 February 2007: Whoooaaa there, girl.
I have to side with your boyfriend here. I think you're being a little paranoid. 1:15am is a totally legit time to fall aseep. His story doesn't seem too far out. I don't have my phone next to me 24/7... he might have for... (read in full...)
I got mad and told him to get lost and now I deeply regret it. Should I write him a note?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 6 months, we moved in together two months ago and both work at the same company and have pretty much been with each other every day. The thing is we have been having silly little nigly arguments over the ...
A. 5 February 2007: Geeze, this relationship is filled with drama! Are you sure you want this? He seems like a little bit of a drama queen.... and you react pretty harshly to him... it seems like if you do start up this relationship again, soon it will go back to the ... (read in full...)
i just wanna fall in love with him because apparently its such a "nice feeling." Why do I think this way?
Q. heya im 16 and i have been with my bf for over a month now and the relationship is going really well. the thing is i REALLY want to fall in love with him. thats just what i keep thinking "am i falling inlove with him, i hope i am". and "i just wan...
A. 5 February 2007: Hey there,
Yep. I think thinking like this will prevent you from actually doing it. You're putting a lot of pressure on your feelings and they're just going to let you down when you put 'love' so high up on a pedestal.
Falling in love is a gra... (read in full...)
What does it mean when your bf only has sex with you, doggy-style?
Q. What does it mean when your bf only has sex with you doggy-style? I love my bf so much, and we have been discussing future plans that might lead to marriage! He is the best sex that I have ever had...EVER! And he sure pleases me in everything ...
A. 5 February 2007: Well, doggy style is a fun position!
f you want to try something new, you're going to have to bring it up with him. If you're looking for the reason he likes this position so much, well... it's a good one. Feels tightest, you get the deepest ... (read in full...)
Is It normal to have fantasies?
Q. Is It normal to have fantasies? I have this fantasy. I often dream it and daydream it and think about it. I can tell you more about it If that would help....
A. 5 February 2007: Hey sweetie,
It's very normal to have fantasies. It might be a little easier to help if you told us more, but most fantasies are totally normal and okay to have. I have them! All the Aunts & Uncles have them! (and if they say they don't...... (read in full...)
His pic of the the ex hurt me...should I ask him to carry one of us??
Q. I have this bf for almost 6months, we both had a relationship prior to ours now and got out with it for us to have a relationship together. Everything seems ok coz we both are striving hard for our relationship to work out, we've done both our...
A. 5 February 2007: Hey sweet thang,
Well, there's certainly no harm in taking pictures of the two of you together and giving him some copies. That sounds sweet and fun. However, that's not going to make him get rid of the picture(s) of his ex.
I have tons of pic... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my virgin boyfriend is ready?
Q. Hi. I'm a 15 year old girl. My boyfriend is 17. I've known him since I was 2 months old, and we fell in love when we were just little kids. We've been going steady for about 2 months now, and I feel that I'm completely ready to lose my virginity to ...
A. 5 February 2007: All I have to say on this one is that you'll just know.
If he isn't showing that he's ready, then he's not. You'll know what he is. Why rush things along? Oh, and even though you've taken health class (which is fabulous), you still ought to check... (read in full...)
Is this kind of conversation appropiate?
Q. I went out for a drink with my partner and his mate the other evening (we were expecting his other half down the pub later). I assume that the mate feels so relaxed with me he can talk about anything. We were talking about chocolate (because...
A. 5 February 2007: Was this an appropriate conversation? Well, no. No and yes. It seems like it was a little risqué, and there was some DEFINITE flirting going on. However, if you didn't take it the wrong way and neither did he, I don't think anything bad will come of ... (read in full...)
I'm female and straight and so is she. But I have fallen in love with her. Any thoughts?
Q. Hi! I am a straight female who has fallen in love with my straight female best friend. I have been struggling with my feelings towards her for some time now and have come to a resolve that I must be attracted to her. We are very close and have a ...
A. 5 February 2007: Hey sweetness,
You know, I'm going to throw this out there - I don't think that you're really in love with your best friend. It's not sexual, you say... so I don't think that you're having feeeeeelings for her. I think that you have a super st... (read in full...)
Planning to invite this older guy (26) I like to my 17th b'day party...will he feel out of place with my friends?
Q. I'm 17 next week and having a party to celebrate it on friday! I am planing to have many friends their but they are all 16-19... there will be about 25 of them.... thing is im seriously upside down in love with a 26 year old man and i wanna invite ...
A. 4 February 2007: Oooh, how awkward. I can just imagine, if I was 26 and went to a party filled with 16-19year old girls... well, it would be weird. He's going to feel VERY out of place, and REALLY old. In theory, he's out of college already and you guys haven't even ... (read in full...)
Will I be stuck with 'bitchy' girls, all year long at this new school?
Q. Im starting year 9 at a new school next week. I dont know anyone there so im nervous. A girl in the same year as me, moved from my new school to my old school. She was talking to my friends and she said that the girls at my new school are really b...
A. 3 February 2007: Hey there,
At every school you're going to find bitchy girls. Even if you went to a convent or something... I'll bet there's a handful of bitchy nuns. However, you haven't even been to your school yet! I'll bet there's some really cool girls th... (read in full...)
She's a virgin but she has kissed guys before...this past of hers bothers me..how do I deal with this?
Q. hey guys just a quick question,i am 20years old and have jus got into my first relationship,the girl i am with is a virgin bt she has had past boyfriends where she has kissed n she has kissed a couple of guys in clubs,she hasnt done anymore then ...
A. 3 February 2007: Hey sweet thang,
All right, well, first off I don't think you're going to find a lot of girls who haven't kissed anyone by the age of 20. Not to say there aren't girls out there who haven't, but most girls have gone through the 'first kiss' st... (read in full...)
My gf loves giving me BJ's but I don't want her to do that. How do I tell her?
Q. hi there I'm a guy n my gf loves to have oral sex.......she just looks for the right time and tells me to pull my pants down......i tell her that i don't like it but still she wants to lick my penis....i feel ticklish and i fear if she bites it....
A. 3 February 2007: Hey there,
I don't even want to know how old you are. I really don't. But, I'm going to pretend like you're 'of age', all though I think maybe with age you'll grow to like oral sex.
You really need to TALK to your girlfriend. If you're comfor... (read in full...)
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