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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Help, my mom is overprotective and won't let me date! What can I do?
Q. Help! My mum is being way to protective of me. I am 17, turning 18 next month and she doesn't want me to have a bf. I have been going out with this guy who I met through my classes at university for just over a month now and she doesn't approve, not ...
A. 26 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
Well you say that you turn eighteen in a month, which makes you legally an adult. I would let this go until then... give her the last month she technically has over you. You don't need to break up with your boyfriend, just tell him... (read in full...)
My bf has been going to see 'male' strippers! What am I to make of this?
Q. I found out off a good friend of mine that my boyfriend had been going to see male strippers frequently - spending on upwards about £3,000 a month on this "hobby". I asked my boyfriend, and he didn't deny it, and said, "relax, it's entertainme...
A. 26 March 2007: Hey sweetness,
Maybe if he saw male dancers every once in awhile with his buddies... no big deal. I'm all about people experimenting and having fun any way they'd like. However, spending THAT kind of dough? Somethings up... as rhythman... (read in full...)
We don't talk or hardly go out together! Not sure if my bf of 1 year is right for me--what do you think?
Q. ive been with my boyf for just over a year, but im not sure he is right for me we hardly go out together, and we dont seem to talk anymore, we havent made any future plans not even for a holiday together. we both have a child from previous ...
A. 26 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
It seems to me that this relationship has fizzled out. The excitement and spark that was once there is gone... and that's okay. I think you need to seriously consider letting this relationship go because it sounds like it's run its ... (read in full...)
We want to have sex, we're both 19. Is this a decent age to have sex?
Q. Is it good for us i mean me and my girl friend to have sex at this age? We both are 19 years old. Will it be a problem after marriage?...
A. 25 March 2007: I just wanted to say that ChiRaven gave you great advice. Read it twice! I completely agree with him.
I'm just going to reiterate it, hooray!
Whether or not you're ready for sex can't be determined by age... nineteen is a fine age, that's when... (read in full...)
We are both 15 and never had sex! So is it wrong just for us to be sleeping in the same bed?
Q. is this against the law? Me and my gf have been going out about a year we are both 15 and are sleeping together a few times(NO SEX) and by that i mean just to sleep. Yes we do kiss and cuddle sometimes but we don't have sex and are still both ...
A. 24 March 2007: It's not wrong at all, however whatever your parents think is acceptable goes. I can understand (all though I'm not a parent) how your parents might not allow that kind of thing, because cuddling in the same bed can lead to more.
However, from a m... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when your bf goes to strip clubs and likes lap dancing?
Q. my b/f does not think strip clubs or lap dances are cheating..i have been with him for about 2 years and i dont think he has been to one since i have been with him..maybe he went one night but i dont know for sure..he says maybe its wrong to do ...
A. 24 March 2007: After reading Eddie's reply, well - I guess there are sketchier places around. I suggest you go with him to a strip club. Dancers can give double lap dances. Where I live, it's so very, very, VERY illegal to touch someone while giving a lapdance, ... (read in full...)
I have this attitude that marriage is war! Why do I feel this way?
Q. Why do i feel before getting married that i am going to enter a war and that i have to be prepared with weapons of arguments i can use against the person i will be getting married to. This will ensure that i establish a supremacy over her for her ...
A. 24 March 2007: With a post like this, I can only hope you never get married. I think you're missing out on the true meaning of marriage. Marriage is a way of saying, "I love you so much, I want to be with you and be your friend forever.".
Your wife is not the ... (read in full...)
If I believe in something strongly, do I have the right to force it onto others?
Q. If i believe about something very strongly, do i have to force it on to other for it to get really justified as a universal truth? Does it become universal truth if one or two people agree with it or join hands with me in respect to the belief?...
A. 24 March 2007: What is truth?
Everybody has their truths and their falses. They have no right to force their beliefs on you, and you have no right to force your beliefs on them. There are so many issues that so many are split down the middle about... gay marr... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when your bf goes to strip clubs and likes lap dancing?
Q. my b/f does not think strip clubs or lap dances are cheating..i have been with him for about 2 years and i dont think he has been to one since i have been with him..maybe he went one night but i dont know for sure..he says maybe its wrong to do ...
A. 24 March 2007: Hey sweetness,
I work with dancers and have done some dancing in the past. I can't say that strip clubs or lap dances are "cheating" per se, however if you're uncomfortable you've got every reason to be and your boyfriend should respect that. St... (read in full...)
How do i kiss my gf properly? Any tips?
Q. hello people im in a fab relationship wid a gal for bout two weeks now n this girl is the best ever she is amazing but im soo rubbish at kissing and its so embarrasing i dont know how to kiss at all i feel as if im letting her down n that she will...
A. 24 March 2007: The trick is making a nice medium. You don't want to overwhelm her lips with yours and be all sloppy about it. You also don't want to clamp your worth shut! Just be nice and slow about it and follow each other's leads. I don't know if you're French ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy to ask me out again?
Q. Please anyone got any advice? I am really confused, there is this man I like and after my friend told him I liked him he took me out one night. We had a really good night, got on really well and had a real laugh.He never tried anything on all nigh...
A. 24 March 2007: There's a difference between a pushy woman and a woman who shows interest in a man. I don't think he'll get horibly offended if you go up to him and say, "hey, I really liked hanging out with you the other night. I'd love to do it again sometime... ... (read in full...)
We quarrel and there is no sex! He won't talk about this with me...what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend and I are always quarrelling. I don't believe that he loves me. We never have sex. Whenever I try to discuss he always changes the topic. Any advice?...
A. 24 March 2007: What is GOOD about this relationship? Sounds like you already know what to do. He doesn't listen to you or want to talk about your relationship, all you do is fight, you never get intimate with each other and you don't think he loves you? Why are ... (read in full...)
I having problems with my best friend! Any advice?
Q. My best friend of 3 years has changed a lot recently. We are both 14 and have just moved up to high school. She started to make new friends and we drifted apart slightly. The other day we had a disagreement and stopped talking for a whole week. In ...
A. 24 March 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
I'm so sorry, darlin'. This is kind of part of growing up. Moving up to high school is a really weird experience. Suddenly you're grown up, you're trying to fit in, do the boyfriend thing and the friends thing and the cool thi... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy but had a dream last night about another guy! Is this normal?
Q. i have been going out with my boyfriend for a while now and i lost my virginity to him... but last night i had a dream about someone else is this bad??...
A. 24 March 2007: Oh my Goodness,
Be ready for tons of sex dreams for the rest of your life. They don't mean anything, sweetness. You can't control your dreams. I have weird sex dreams all the time about other guys. I've had these really weird reccuring dreams a... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a website to help me make my wedding vows special!?
Q. I need help i have searched on all the things about getting my wedding vows written and i have so many things i can say about the man i am going to marry i just dont think they sound good is there any advice or website i can go to to help me out so ...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
I just went to google.com and typed in "My Wedding Vows" and tons of stuff came up. Websites that can help and other people's vows (then you can get an idea of what to write yourself!).
Good luck, darlin'!
Congra... (read in full...)
If a guy has just female friends, does it mean...he is gay?
Q. Okay. General question for both the guys and the girls because it has always been something that I have been confused about. If a guy only has girls as his friends and talks to girls most of the time, does that automatically mean that he is gay? ...
A. 22 March 2007: Goodness NO, it doesn't automatically make a guy gay if he has mostly female friends. He might just connect better with them... or maybe those girls just really enjoy his company.
I wish there were a surefire way of knowing whether someone ... (read in full...)
First time we made out--he couldn't get it up! Is this normal?
Q. This guy and I... well, we were making out for the first time (we kissed a couple of time before).. and... erm.. he couldn't do it... as in get it up, if you know what I mean. Is that supposed to mean anything? ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi, sweetness.
Jendorset was right on. It didn't mean anything towards you, sometimes the first couple of times can be nereve-racking for guys. Just spend lots of time getting to know each other. Also, sometimes guys can't 'get it up' with jus... (read in full...)
He doesnt like sun lotion, but I dont want him to get burnt, any suggestions ?
Q. I have been dating my bf for almost 1 ½ years. He’s a great guy and cares for me a lot. However, he is very stubborn at a few things which I sometimes don’t know what to do. He has really fair skin and the sun will easily burn him. He doesn’t like ...
A. 22 March 2007: There are tons of brands of sun tan lotion out there... maybe go to a boutique and see if they have any really nice kinds that don't smell or stick?
Otherwise, I'm with Anonymous. Let him burn! If he's being so ridiculous about it, then fine. Yo... (read in full...)
What should i do if the condom gets stuck in side the virginia and had to enter with my fingers to get it out?
Q. What should i do if the condom gets stuck in side the virginia and had to enter with my fingers to get it out?...
A. 22 March 2007: Rhythm and Blues gave you great advice. Read it... read it twice! Be very careful if you're having sex... you're at such high rick for STD's. Be safe and communicate with your partner, okay?
A condom will always come out, eventually. It won't ev... (read in full...)
Should a guy spend more on a 2 year aniversary gift for his girlfriend ?
Q. for a 2 year anniversary--do you in general think a guy should spend more on the girl? My b/f was asking in a joking way so what are we spending but obviously it was serious in a way. I know i would feel a little weird if i spent ALOT more than him ...
A. 22 March 2007: Your anniversary shouldn't be about how much you spend on each other. It should be how much you enjoy spending time with each other! If you choose to exchange gifts, it should be because you care about each other and want to see the smiles on each ... (read in full...)
Is a framed picture too 'sappy'??
Q. IS a pic of me and my b/f in a frame too sappy to give a guy for an anniversary??..its a wooden frame engraved with our names and a nice saying. I got a practical gift as well. ...
A. 22 March 2007: I think that's a great gift! Something that he can hold on to forever and think of you. I don't think it's too sappy at all. I think it's really thoughtful!
Happy Anniversary!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Worried that my sister overheard an 'indiscretion'
Q. I think my 12 year old sister might have overheard a little indiscretion of mine... how awkward. What should i do? I'm not sure she was in the house; i had thought she was out but then there she was in her room quietly watching tv. I feel slightly ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
For the sake of your sanity, I would pretend she didn't. If she says nothing, and you say nothing, give it time and no one will even remember. If you don't mention anything to her, maybe she'll think you were listening to a weird CD... (read in full...)
My ex is saying really bad and awful things to our children when he spends time with them should I stop him seeing them ?
Q. I seperated from my ex 2 years ago and he divorced me last year. Shortly after separating, I got together with a, then, friend of his and we are together and very strong. My ex and I have 3 children together, age 10, 7 and 6. He was seeing them ...
A. 20 March 2007: I think that you need to either stop your kids from seeing this maniac or you need to have him doing supervised sessions with his kids. Having your kids hear these awful things from the parent that used to HIT them is not healthy for them AT ALL. ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend and dont want to leave him, but why do I have these feeling for this other guy ?
Q. I'm with this guy, i love him, its a long distance relationship and i'm happy with that but i like this other guy, i see this other guy nearly every day and i've started getting feelings for him. I don't want to leave my current boyfried i know i'm ...
A. 20 March 2007: WHY do you like him? Probably because you get lonely not seeing your long distance boyfriend.
I'd suggest you space yourself from temptation, sweetness... these kind of situations can only cause angst and usually end messy.
Good luck, sw... (read in full...)
I lied and said that I hadnt been with anyone when we broke up, should I come clean ?
Q. My girlfriend and i of 6 yrs broke up a couple of months ago. We are now trying to work things out. She recently told me that while we were broken up she messed around with another man and did everything but sex. She asked me if i did anything. My ...
A. 20 March 2007: If you have a feeling she'd be more angry about the lying than the actions, I suggest you come clean. If you think that you are going to be with this girl for a long time - especially if you're thinking about marrying her - I'd go ahead and tell ... (read in full...)
My insecurities drove him away! He just thinks I'm weird..what can I do?
Q. im i such a bad situation at the moment. I started uni in september, straight away met this amazing guy, but through my insecurities drove him away. Iv seen him since and slept with him, but i am obsessed!!!i think about him ALL THE TIME.he leaves ...
A. 20 March 2007: The word "obsessed" stands out here. No guy wants a girl who is obsessed with him (and vice versa... I wouldn't want to be with a guy who I slept with and he became obsessed with me). Were you calling him a lot? Or maybe overwhelming him a little ... (read in full...)
What do this little gestures mean ?
Q. I get on well with this guy at work. When we are in his car going for lunch, sometimes he touches my knee in joking conversation. Then the other day when we were taking he touched my nose with his finger, you know like a quick gentle stroke. What ...
A. 20 March 2007: Totally flirting. He's doing the cutesy affection thing... maybe his intentions are platonic and he does these things with his female friends, but I'd be careful. Especially since both of you are in relationships!
I think you'll know if he's try... (read in full...)
His friends say he really like someone else now and that I should finish with him!
Q. me and my boyfriend are having a bit of a problem at the moment so i thought i would ask :) well about october time there was rumours flying around that he kissed another girl, so i got upset and then got over it, but then around a month ago when i ...
A. 20 March 2007: This guy sounds like a jerk. If you're having an abortion he should be with you and not out cavorting with other girls...
Listen to your friends (and right now, I'm one of them) and finish with him! It'll be hard, but you deserve and can find muc... (read in full...)
Is it normal for breasts to get bigger before period?
Q. this is going to seem very vauge, but is it normal for breasts to get slightly bigger before your period? xxx...
A. 20 March 2007: Oh my, that is so normal. Mine do that... they swell up right before my period, or as I prefer to call it, the "Dark Week". My friend, her boobs get HUGE right before her Dark Week. I don't know what it is, her hormones must be CRAZY, but they swell ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so upset that my bf grabbed this other woman's ass, when he was drinking?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 8 years when out for a St. Patricks celebration with a couple of friends and one of our friends brought a co-worker with her, so as the night went on the drinks started hitting all of us and so I started dancing with the ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hey,
Well... you've been dating this guy for eight years? Your relationship is good otherwise? You were freaking with the girl and he was drunk... he probably just got carried away. If he says he's sorry and he doesn't make a habit of grabbing... (read in full...)
While we had sex, he called me his ex gf's name! I am so upset and hurt-what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We've pretty much lived together for 8 of the 10. The other night during sex he called me his ex's name! He was with her for 15 yrs. But they have been split for almost 5 years. I'm so hurt ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi there,
I absolutely agree with Ponungalungb. You need to forgive this guy. He was with his ex for 15 years?!? That's a long time to be having sex with one woman. He made an honest mistake with you, I'm sure he's just so used to saying her name... (read in full...)
I haven’t misunderstood her, she definitely used to have feelings for me, I hope she still has!
Q. Dear All I wonder if you could help me again please, I’m still so damn confused! lol Basically I became closer and closer with my dream girl at high school over the course of two years. I’m one who doesn’t go looking for girls so she kind of appr...
A. 19 March 2007: I don't think her parents will get mad at you if you write her a note apologizing for making her feel uncomfortable. You need to stop letting these idiots get to you! When they start talking about you and things, don't even let them get to you ... (read in full...)
My dad says hes too old for and that I need to break up with him! Im 16 hes 19!
Q. Me and my 19 year old boyfriend grew up together. we just started talking in November Im 16 i will be 17 next month. my dad wants us to brake up because he thinks that he is too old. Do you think i am too young for him my mom and his family thinks ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi there,
It sounds like a fine age difference to me. Your Dad might be worried because to him, this 19 year old is a "man" and you're still his little girl. He might be worried that this 19 year old is only out for one thing and will pressure... (read in full...)
I haven’t misunderstood her, she definitely used to have feelings for me, I hope she still has!
Q. Dear All I wonder if you could help me again please, I’m still so damn confused! lol Basically I became closer and closer with my dream girl at high school over the course of two years. I’m one who doesn’t go looking for girls so she kind of appr...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
Wow. What a situation.
I think you need to leave this alone for a little bit. Nothing is worse then being accused of being a stalker, especially when you're not one! She's probably looking for any signs of "stalker behavio... (read in full...)
What goes through a guy’s head when he stares at a female’s breasts?
Q. What goes through a guy’s head when he stares at a female’s breasts?...
A. 19 March 2007: What a funny question.
"Nice rack..."
What do you think when you look at a guy's butt? (if it's nice) You think, "man, that's a great butt. Wouldn't mind grabbing on to THAT!". Same with guys. If they see a nice pair of breasts, they'll... (read in full...)
Would you agree that January was the month for a lot of break ups ?
Q. Would you agree that January is the month for break-ups? Speaking to friends and having myself gone through a break up in January, I felt that maybe it is not a coincidence but more like something thousands or millions of people go through each Jan...
A. 19 March 2007: It's the New Year and a time for change. Most people want to change things about themselves they don't like or feel like they want to work on themselves and grow. A boyfriend or girlfriend can get in the way of personal growth.
This, of course, ... (read in full...)
what do guys think about when they are having sex ?
Q. what do guys think about when they are having sex?...
A. 18 March 2007: I asked my boyfriend, and he - like Dragonette's boyfriend - said that he's not doing that much thinking. Not verbal thinking anyways. He's thinking mostly about how good it feels. When the sex starts, mostly his penis is doing the thinking...
... (read in full...)
He asked me would I ever have an abortion and I thought that really strange...?
Q. A few months ago after I got together with this guy while in South Africa for a few months (didn't have sex with him), we were laying in bed just kissing, making out and talking about lots of different things, deep things (his father who died- both ...
A. 16 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
If you were talking about really deep things together, maybe he was just trying to keep the conversation at that level. It is a really deep and personal question... and if that's the kind of mood that was set, the question makes se... (read in full...)
I'm a woman and the thought of gay men having intercourse really excites me, is this normal?
Q. I'm a 30 year old woman and the thought of gay men having intercourse really excites me. Is that normal? Seems kind of wierd to me, but I can't help feeling that way. I enjoy the thought of women being together as well, but not as much as the ...
A. 16 March 2007: I am right there with you. The thought of two guys? I don't think it's because you're bi-sexual... it could, but I'm straight and two men? Oh yes. The same way men fantasize about two women together, two hot guys going at it sounds hot to me.
... (read in full...)
What's the best way to break up with someone? I want to be decent about it.
Q. Hi, What is the best way to break up with someone. I want to be decent about it. She is a nice girl, but we are with each other a while, and i am just not clicking enough and want out of the relationship. She has done nothing wrong. i just do...
A. 16 March 2007: Hi there,
If I were you, I'd call her up as soon as you can and say, "hey - before you come over this weekend, we need to talk.", (she'll probably see it coming from that alone. However, that's a good warning that the weekend trip to your house mi... (read in full...)
Can someone's looks change as they get older? Say between 13-16???
Q. dear readers i would like to know can some-ones looks change as they get older e.g. from 13-16 ?? as i am noticing changes in my looks, sometimes good looking sometimes bad :(:( tld by girls and do the good looking ones sometimes turn no...
A. 15 March 2007: Go look at some pictures of your parents! You'll see how much looks can change. Look at pictures of them as teenagers, then them as college students and adults... bodies mature and faces change!
Every boy should know the secret to great face car... (read in full...)
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