A
female
age
41-50,
*eeping it Real
writes:Hi! I am a straight female who has fallen in love with my straight female best friend. I have been struggling with my feelings towards her for some time now and have come to a resolve that I must be attracted to her. We are very close and have a strong connection. I have never felt this way towards any other woman. I am a bit confused. Can a straight woman feel this way and still be straight? It is not a sexual attraction, but more of an emotional and spiritual one. She has a boyfriend. I am finding myself feeling jealous over her relationship. I don't like feeling this way. We always exchange I love yous and if I blow a kiss on the phone, she will send one back. Does this mean that she likes me more than a friend? Should I tell her about my feelings and risk the friendship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): I am also female and straight and met this person nearly twenty years ago - I knew from the very first moment I saw her that she was different because of the strong and unexplainable feeling that I felt. This woman was more than twenty years older than me and at the time I felt confused over why I would feel such a bond with her. I then didn't see her for many years yet I knew there would always be something very special about her. I have recently spoken to her on the phone and as soon as I heard her voice all the emotions that I had years ago were there again, I've never been able to explain it and I've never really spoken to her about my feelings although I do believe she felt the same way when we first met. There has never been any sexual attraction with this woman, only a kind of mother daughter thing as I do love her like I would my own mother. She is having a difficult time at the moment and since speaking to her recently I have been unable to get her out of my mind. My feelings are so strong, could this be a kind of soul mate thing?
A
female
reader, MISTANG2 +, writes (5 March 2007):
 I have been in your exact situation. I feel head over heels for my very best friend. I was sure she felt the same way. So one evening I confessed my love to her. She did not feel the same and needless to say we no longer talk. If you have feelings for your friend I sronglly urge you to keep them to yourself. If you value your friendship in anyway please do so.
Been there, Missing her still.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
You know, I'm going to throw this out there - I don't think that you're really in love with your best friend. It's not sexual, you say... so I don't think that you're having feeeeeelings for her. I think that you have a super strong bond with her... I think she's your soul sister. And I think the reason you're getting jealous of her being with her boyfriend... well, you love her. You want to hang out with her all the time. I think you're a little jealous of the fact she's opening up and giving attention to someone else.
There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. It sounds like you've got the bond similar to the one I imagine twins get. You guys are two of a kind. You get along like... peanut butter and jelly... and it has probably occured to you that no man can make you feel as happy and comfortable as she does.
I think you are soul sisters. Soul mates.
Those are just my thoughts...
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007): Hey , i UNDERSTAND HOW YOU Feel. I'm just worried if you tell her she might run off or not be your friend anymore. What you need to do is ask her a different question for example Just tell her some other girl likes her more than just a friend. If she has a negative reaction to it then don,t tell her how you feel. But if she is ok with just tell her how you feel if she is your real friend she'll understand how you feel. Well ok good luck
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Lots of girls are very lovey dovey to one another, it's a "girl thing". I don't think you're bi, I think you just really admire her as a friend and the jealousy towards her boyfriend is because he's with her a lot of the time instead of you.
You also say it's not a sexual attraction which confirms to me you're not bi. You have both just really hit it off and have a wonderful bond together. Did you know soul mates don't necessarily need to be male and female? Maybe SHE is your soul mate? One that you have a very special connection with, more like a really close sister than anything else.
If you're going to tell her anything I would tell her that you feel really close to her as if you were both meant to be there for one another, that you love her like a sister and you hope your friendship together will always be strong and never fades. I think if you were to mention you were "attracted" to her, it would scare her off and she would back away from you and you don't want that.
Enjoy the close bond you have together as friends and hope it lasts for many years to come.
Eve
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