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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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We have online sex...is this considered an affair if we have partners?
Q. Short n sweet: having a textual affair with a man from work... if i am with someone, and he is someone, is it still considered an affair....
A. 2 January 2007: First off, you called it an affair yourself.
You know this man as well? He works with you? What's stopping you from going the whole nine yards and meeting up with each other on a lunch break?
Yes, it's an affair. Even if you're not actually tou... (read in full...)
We aren't honest to each other and we fight a lot-is it time to end this?
Q. I'm in love with this guy.He has been my boyfriend for 3 years and I want to spend my life with him.But I just dont have feelings for him like I used to.I think he likes me a little more than I like him.I also like other guys and want to get with ...
A. 2 January 2007: So, you can't talk without it ending in a fight.
You can't trust each other.
You keep secrets from each other.
You want to get with other guys.
And, the icing on the cake... you don't have feelings for him like you used to.
And you... (read in full...)
Is it cause for concern if your partner doesn't reciprocate, oral-wise?
Q. I haven't seen this certain question asked here, so I am going ahead and ask. If your p artner wants you to give him a bj, but in turn he won't return the favor, with no explanation what so ever. Should there be cause for concern, or not? I want ...
A. 31 December 2006: Cause for concern? No. There's nothing WRONG with your boyfriend... some dudes just don't like doing it. Just like some girls don't really like going down on guys.
What I'm really wondering here, is do you want it? Is it something you miss and... (read in full...)
I lied to my best friend when she asked me if I had sex with her bf! How do I tell her the truth?
Q. I had sex with my best friends man and she found out about it.I told her it was a lie and that i never had sex with him.I dont want to keep hiding it from her so how do i tell her?...
A. 31 December 2006: Gently.
You lied to her AND you slept with her boyfriend. So expect her to be angry... you betrayed her trust and your loyalty to her as a friend. I'd be pretty pissed too. But, to honor what is left of your friendship, you need to tell her befo... (read in full...)
I thought I could get over this insecurity but I still can't get over my bf's past! Help?
Q. No matter how hard I try I cant get over my bf's past. This is a long post, but please take the time out to read it. I was a virgin when I met my bf (we met when I was 18, he was 24), he had been with five other women. I know too much about his past ...
A. 21 December 2006: Hey sweetheart,
I feel you pain. My current boyfriend of a year n' a half was my first ever (I was 19.... now I'm 20). He, however, has a bit of a past due to some college fun and a hard rebound from a tough breakup. He's been with A LOT of girls... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to give oral - what if I don't like it or do it wrong?
Q. I am 17 years old and me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over 6 months and we have sex regularly, but when we got round to oral sex i just couldnt do it. I really wanted to take him in my mouth but i had a mental block against it, ...
A. 19 December 2006: I totally feel your pain.
I didn't want to give oral sex either. My boyfriend I love and trust, but his penis still kinda skeeved me... I just had this mental block. Same as you.
I didn't for a long time... for probably 7-8 months! But even... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to kiss me!
Q. hey evereyone, i really want my bf to kiss me, but we are still on our hugging phase. i think he wants to kiss me but is to scared and i'm just as nerves. i'm just to shy around him i need to know how to open up! Plus he says he is th...
A. 18 December 2006: I think that "sweetiegirl" (the first person to answer) had it right for that first kiss.
Give him a good long hug, and then pull back just a little. Not enough so that your bodies aren't touching anymore. Keep your arms around him. Maybe kiss him... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 18 December 2006: You know, I'll bet 80 percent of guys have some porn hidden around their houses. They're curious! And when he was single, a year ago? They probably got put to use all the time. Those lonely nights when you're not around? He's probably using them ... (read in full...)
Dad's affair, what do I do?
Q. My Dad is having an affair with another woman. I first read some texts on his mobile fone in September and i still find those sorts of texts on his phone now. I hate the way that he is with me and my family every day as if nothing is happening but ...
A. 18 December 2006: When I was your age I found out my Father was having an emotional affair with another woman. I was lucky, as they hadn't had anything physical going on, but it was still so painful to be reading e-mails back and forth... "I love you"'s, and "I miss ... (read in full...)
We had sex for the first time and it was rather disappointing - how do we make it great?
Q. Hi. I'm 21 and have been with my bf for a year now. He's 23 and we're very much in love. This week we decided to make love with each other. I had never been with anyone, however he's had about 5 partners before me. We had discussed sex before a...
A. 15 December 2006: Like the people who have answered before me, I assure you it will get better. The more you get to know each other sexually, the better it will get. My first times (with the guy I'm still with now a year & a half later) were awkward and a little ... (read in full...)
I miss being touched and held and kissed.IS there anyway I can get the passion and affection back into my relationship with my boyfriend?
Q. IS there anyway I can get the passion and affection back into my relationship with my boyfriend? I feel like it's not really there anymore. He never wants to kiss me longer than a couple of seconds and usually when we are about to have sex we just ...
A. 15 December 2006: I sort of got into a situation a little similar. I just missed the kissing, and the touching. I felt like I might hurt my boyfriends feelings if I brought it up, or that he's feel like I was too needy. But he was really great about it. Sometimes you ... (read in full...)
He moved here to be with me but I wnat to end it with him! What should I do?
Q. Hi, Ive been going out with b/f for over a year. We met on holiday and after almost a year of a long distance relationship, he moved to where I live to be with me. But recently I feel like I want to split with him, but I cant because hes moved here ...
A. 15 December 2006: It sounds like this relationship has finished. It's too bad, and it's nice that you feel bad and all - but I think it's time to let him know how you feel. Cheating will feel even worse than a nice, civil breakup. Like "KELLYMARIE" said, your ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex's friend act worried when he found out I was going back to school? Did my ex put him up to this?
Q. I used to always tell my ex bf I would never go back to college. This is mainly due to low self esteem as a direct cause of his abusive (mentally) behavior. We broke up 6 months ago because he was being a jerk. I have a job just not a very good ...
A. 14 December 2006: Why are you even worried about the expression on his face?
You should be proud of yourself! An 83% on a final is pretty impressive, and it's great that you're going back to school! You should be proud of yourself.
Screw your ex! Who cares wh... (read in full...)
He likes to tease me and sneak up behind me---it's all playful...do you think he likes me?
Q. I have this 18 or 19-year-old fellow employee, who likes to playfully tease me, sneak up behind me and say: "Boo!", and try to do child-like things to get my attention. I am wondering if he really likes me or has a crush one me, it is kind of hard ...
A. 14 December 2006: I think he might have a little thing for you. It sounds like he's playing with you in a kinda flirty way! If he's not flirting, he's vying for your attention. It sounds like a little bit of a crush!
Enjoy!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Why does my bf still have a love letter from an old ex gf?
Q. help! my boyfriend and i have lived together for about 7 months. he moved into my place it was sort of a quick decision as he had no place to live. we are very happy and plan to buy a house in the new year. he asked me to find something for him ...
A. 14 December 2006: Oh, I think you're just fine.
I know I have a whole BOX of things from one of my ex-boyfriends. I keep it because they're happy memories I had with someone who was really great to me. Not because I'm still in love with him or anything - and he's... (read in full...)
Our relationship is getting violent and I feel it's her fault for making it violent. What should I do?
Q. hey this is regarding my last message and well i can remember what i exactly said and yea, well she has already cheated on me twice and were constantly argueing, and our relationship is getting violent, i feel its her fault for making it violent, ...
A. 14 December 2006: Are you hitting her at all?
If you are, there's no excuse. I don't care how much she's cheated, I don't care how bad your arguements get. There is no excuse to make it violent. Clearly this relationship isn't healthy for either of you and it's tim... (read in full...)
Condoms are ruining our sex life! What can be done about it?
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend are both 20. Shes my first sexual partner and 3 months into our relationship im still getting nervous problems. I always go soft when the condom is brought out. I dont know why! Its really annoying me and even upsetting m...
A. 13 December 2006: I agree with the person below you.
Ask her to put it on for you. Just lie on your back, don't even look. Maybe while she's giving you some oral pleasures, or manual goodness, she can just slip it on for you... she can be tricky about you. You prob... (read in full...)
School and work is coming between me and my son and I don't know what to do - I'm so upset! Any advice?
Q. hya i am just having a few problems my head feels all over the place at the moment i am doing a full time course at college and then hopefully going to uni next year. i also have a part time job with i do on my days off college, but i am feeling a ...
A. 13 December 2006: Oooh, sweetness.
"SHANDY POP" had it right. What you're doing is really going to make for a much better life for you and your son. One day your son is really going to admire you for sticking with it and going through college. He's going to look ... (read in full...)
It was my decision to break up, but I can't get over it! Am I going to regret this the rest of my life?
Q. Hi, Really need help! Broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years about a month ago. And it was my decision so I know I should get over it but I can’t. He understands me, loves me and believes in everything that I do. Everyone wants a boyfrien...
A. 13 December 2006: This question made me so sad... for you and for your boyfriend.
It sounds like, to me - you really love your boyfriend, and you know that you could have a wonderful, fulfilling relationship with him after you take sometime to concentrate on YOU a... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in the middle of my friend cheating on my other friend!
Q. HI all.. This is really wierd...but I just really want to hear someone's opinion on this: (I'm sorry it's so long) There's this guy who's been one of my closest friends for more than 8 yrs, we met when we were 16. He's one of my best friends, ...
A. 13 December 2006: Like everyone else has said, NOT all men are like this. It's unfortunate that your buddy has bummed you out like this. What a crappy situation to be stuck in the middle of!
Quite honestly, what I'd do is explain to him that you ARE his friend, ... (read in full...)
Please tell me what goes on in clubs and bars!
Q. I am 20 years old, I have never been clubbing or to a crazy party. I would love to go but my parents are extremely strict, and I'm not allowed out past midnite. So I just want to know what really goes on there? I've been in a relationship with thi...
A. 13 December 2006: Clubs and bars? Is he going with friends or by himself?
When you go with friends, usually it involves getting drunk - like you said, and talking really loudly over music. Sometime you dance, or whatever... when there's dancing, usually it's a p... (read in full...)
My husband of 27 years looks at shemale porn. Should I be concerned?
Q. Should I be concerned if my husband of 27 years has been looking at shemale stuff behind my back for the past 2 years? We have only had sex 2 times in 2 years...
A. 10 December 2006: Well, shemale porn isn't TOO crazy. It's kinky, sure, but that in itself isn't too bad.
However, the fact that you have only had sex 2 times in 2 years suggests something completely different. Did you have a healthy sex life before that? Did some... (read in full...)
I am about to lose my virginity and I need tips on how to make it spectacular!
Q. Hey! Im 17 and about to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of 6 to 7 months. Any tips? I want to make the first time good for both of us! (I know i cant expect fireworks or choirs singing 'hallelujah' chorus) But i want to make him and me feel rea...
A. 10 December 2006: KY Warming Liquid (it's a lube you can find at any store. Even the grocery store!).
'Nuff said.
Makes it... GREAT! Mind blowing.
There's my 2 cents.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
I am so shy and it is causing my loneliness...
Q. I have no one to love, I feel so lonely. There was this one guy That I really liked, I gave him my number, that ended becuase he never called me. I am a really shy girl, and I find it hard to talk to any guy I really like, I am 19, and me being shy ...
A. 10 December 2006: This is a bizarre answer that I'm about to give you, but it's all I can come up with for the painfully shy.
Have you considered using the internet? Now, I --
OK this is India's BF. I think I have some good advice for you, because I, too, ... (read in full...)
My man is ignoring me and goes to the bar every night! What's going on?
Q. Is My man leaving me? He won't have sex with me, won't kiss me, won't touch me, He doesn't want me to touch him. he goes to the bar everynight after work and lies to me about it. I confronted him about it, so now he really won't talk to me and won't ...
A. 8 December 2006: To be honest, from what you say, it doesn't look good. And even if he does still want a relationship with you, why would you want one with him? He doesn't sound like he's offering you much... he's not even giving you the basics of what you want. It ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm too controlling in this relationship - any advice?
Q. I am in a relationship right now going on 7 months. I am 21 and she is 17 and a senior in high school. I see her every single day. When i don't work I am at her house. When I am at work , She comes up and is with me the entire time because my job ...
A. 8 December 2006: Good for you, recognizing that this relationship is starting to get a little unhealthy.
It's true, spending 24/7 together isn't really healthy. You guys need time to yourself to do your own thing, not to mention, you need time to miss each oth... (read in full...)
He says it doesn't matter now
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have had or ups and downs . A low blow came last year when i found that im unable to have children . Now he says it doesn't matter and it didn't to me untill last couple months now i want them how ...
A. 8 December 2006: Well, there are tons of kids that need good homes. Adoption is always an option. A puppy might satisfy your nurturing need for now. But adoption is a great thing for couples that can't conceive.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
To parents out there--would you put your 16 year old daughter on the pill?
Q. would you put your 16yr old daughter on the pil...
A. 8 December 2006: Better safe than sorry. The pill is ALWAYS a good idea for sexually active girls. Talk to your daughter about the consequences of not having safe sex... and make it clear that birth control doesn't protect you from STD's.
Safety first.... (read in full...)
I like using the vibrator he got me better than having sex with him!
Q. My boyfriend and I have a very healthy sex life. However my problem is that I don't get the same "satisfaction" from intercourse as he does. He doesn't know this. Last year he bought me a vibrator as a present, and I'm worried I'm a bit addicted to ...
A. 6 December 2006: 3 times a week isn't too bad.
You should watch the movie "the Oh in Ohio" - it came out this week and it's about a woman JUST like you. Exactly with your predicament. It was pretty funny... Parker Posey, Paul Rudd, Danny Devito, Mischa Barton..... (read in full...)
I go to an all boys grammer school and I've developed a crush on a male teacher! How do I get over this?
Q. I am a teenage boy who goes to an all boys grammar school. But I have now developed feelings for one of my teachers, who is also male. I can't stop thinking about him, everytime I see him my insides melt and there is nothing else I can think about ...
A. 6 December 2006: Hi there,
I have to disagree with "Laura", it sounds like you find yourself attracted to guys - which is perfectly normal and alright. However, you're not questioning your sexuality, you're questioning your feelings for your teacher.
You nee... (read in full...)
Are most men sex-mad beings who hop from female to female? Any thoughts?
Q. Are most men generally sex-mad beings? Who if finished with one girl they happen to be seeing or been with, go straight onto the next, without a thought of the person they had been involved with before?? Just curious on your opinions with th...
A. 6 December 2006: "Are most men generally sex-mad beings?"
sex-mad beings... it made me laugh.
I think most men love sex. That's no question. Hell, most women love sex... but men really, really do. The ones who don't are few and far between. But are most men... (read in full...)
How can I go from kissing to a smooth all over touching and kissing?
Q. Its my first time with this guy...we've been planning to kiss...well anyway..I want him to want me..how can I go from a kissing, french...to a smooth all over touching and kissing?...
A. 6 December 2006: An excellent transitional kissing place is the neck.
You guys are making out, you're kissing... you have to remember to use your hands while you're kissing - it'll make it feel more passionate.Then pull back a little, and kiss him on his cheek, h... (read in full...)
We had a baby 9 months ago - How can we get our sex life back on track?
Q. Hello need a bit of advice. me and my partner have been together for 2 years now and or sex life has takin a real nose dive since we had our daughter 9 months ago. we're both too tired to do anything! we're both only young (early twenties) and i ...
A. 6 December 2006: Funny enough, I just watched an entire TV show about sex after pregnancy.
It's totally normal to have your sex drive take a dive after having a baby. Suddenly, you're juggling a job, a relationship, midnight baby feeds and you're not sleeping... (read in full...)
I'm curious about sex with another girl...
Q. is it wrong to be curious about wat it would be like to be with a gurl???i mean im just wondering. ...
A. 6 December 2006: Nothing's wrong with wondering. In fact, I think everyone does once in awhile. And if you kinda want to try it out - now is the time! Test the waters! Maybe you'll find you like it! Being bi is the best because you get the best of both worlds. Why ... (read in full...)
Can you tell if a man has had sex with someone else before he has sex with you?
Q. I have a question.. Can you tell if a man has had sex or has masterbated before he has sex with you? I heard when he is hard if there is extra skin on the top ( no I don't mean uncircumsized skin) ..it means he has done the deed with someone els...
A. 2 December 2006: I don't think you can tell... however, I will almost guarentee you (98.9% sure) that he's masturbated before. Most guys do. They experiment. Hey, if I had something hanging off of me, I'd probably toy around with it too.
Having sex, however?... (read in full...)
How can you tell if a guy wants something more than casual dating?
Q. How can you tell if a guy wants something more than casual dating? (We dont see each other too often we live about 3 hours from each other) Here is what he does: Touches me all of the time Kisses me every chance he gets Cuddles with o...
A. 2 December 2006: It certainly sounds like he cares about you.
You have to just bring it up, next time you see each other face to face. Just ask him if he's having fun casually seeing each other, or if he's looking to build a relationship. Be cool about it, be a... (read in full...)
Took a morning after pill but is there still a chance I could get pregnant?
Q. i had unprotected sex during my period a month ago. I took the morning after pill the next day.my period is two days late.The doctor told me im pretty safe because i was on my cycle and i took the pill.What are the chances of me being pregnant?...
A. 2 December 2006: Well, there' a super slim chance you could be pregnant. But if you're only two days, I wouldn't get nervous until day 5 or 6 of being late. Maybe the morning after pill just threw off your system a little bit.
If it's a week late, there's ... (read in full...)
I've lost interest in him and it's killing me! Why do I suddenly feel this way?
Q. I'm 20 and I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months now and Everything's been wonderful up until this point. I've been very confused lately on if I still love him or not and it's killing me inside. I used to be so happy with him, and now I ...
A. 1 December 2006: Awww, I'm so sad for you. And your boyfriend.
Maybe what you need is a break. Just take a little mini-vacation (a cheap hotel in another town. The further away the better)... do you enjoy being single a little? Does it feel better having a life w... (read in full...)
My 4 y/o daughter wants "private time" behind closed doors. Am I handling this the right way?
Q. My 4 year old daughter has within the last few months taken an interest in having private time. During her "private time" she stays in her bedroom and she demands that I do not come in under any circumstances. She even makes me pinky swear. She ...
A. 1 December 2006: I think you did fabulously in this situation. You sounds like a great Mom.
You talked abut all the right things, and I think the rules you laid down were great too. You're allowing her some tim where she's allowed to experiment and not feel gui... (read in full...)
is masturbattion without retracting the foreskin normal?
Q. is it normal for a man to masturbate without retracting his foreskin?...
A. 1 December 2006: You are the master of your domain. You do what feels best to YOU. I knew a guy (and this is no joke), who had this stuffed animal with hole in it. And in the stuffing there was a bunch of vaseline mixed up in it.... it looked totally horrific and ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to use a condom and suggested I go on the pill - but that doesn't protect from std's! What can I do?
Q. hey, i been goin out with my boyfriend for a while now and we have decided to go all the way. there is one problem though, he wont use a condom:( hes asked me to go onto the pill, but he's been really understanding about it and said if i didnt wa...
A. 1 December 2006: Martini got it right. You tell him that if he wants to stop using a condom, then it will be your pleasure after he goes down to a local Planned Parenthood (or doctor) and gets an STD test. You ought to get one anyway for the both of you - better ... (read in full...)
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