Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AdviceGiverandReceiver  +, writes (23 May 2009):
If we can't delete our posts then we should be at least able to edit them (also being checked again before the edited version can be published)
A
female
reader, AdviceGiverandReceiver +, writes (23 May 2009):
It'd be great to have a 'delete' button on your posts or anonymous posts. In the spur of the moment you forget that this is REALLY public. Since the computer knows you computer ID then surely it could be able to delete you anonymous posts (but before seeing that the post, anonymously posted from you, is actually yours, you should have to enter a password, just in case anyone were to get onto your computer)
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female
reader, Manya  +, writes (11 April 2007):
Hi Cupid!
I was wondering how it's going with the idea for an explicit-ness filter?
Have seen some questions from quite young persons! I feel they should
only have limited access to the site. There's a big difference between
"How can I say hello to a girl?" and some of the questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Extremely concerned,
Manya
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 I looooooove this site but I can't get in to my mail!!
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (27 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just testing followups
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (16 February 2007):
 I don't know if this has been answered or not, but I see a lot of variations on the same questions, i.e., "How do I mend my broken heart?", "How do I know if my spouse is cheating?", "How long should my penis be?" LOL, etc., etc.
Is there a "Topic Search" available?
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (16 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDrPsych. Good point. Now that I capture user's age when they register I am going to look at an "explicit"-ness filter. This will involve the mods flagging explicit content. Won't be for a few weeks but it will happen.
Thanks!
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Very good Idea doctor Psych I never thought of that! And how about if the age of the question asker who asks sexual questions is shown so that we know we're not giving sex tips to a 10 year old.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 February 2007):
 1. Very sexually explicit posts should be in an over 18's section as there are many children and teenagers using this website. I am sure many of the adult readers of this website would also like some kind of choice on the material they are reading.
2. Magazine type articles on various topics from time to time that address popular topics (perhaps written by the aunts/ uncles) and common problems people experience.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Hi,
In regards to spellcheck. As a moderator, I find there are questions that come through that I can't make 'head nor tails' of. The spelling is pretty bad. I have to say, I usually end up tossing those questions/answers-they don't make it onto the site. If I can't read, no one else will be able to, as well and your question will be ignored. One way to alleviate bad spelling is for people to download their own spellcheck if they don't have one. Check out this link.
http://www.iespell.com/download.php
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (15 February 2007):
Hi again!
I really think the site is close to perfect as is, and shouldn't be too complex or try to do everything. Also, I think the replies are plenty fast enough -- it's good for the poster to process mentally a little as he/she awaits the posting and/or
replies... There are other people in the world, too, those impatient should remember.... calming down is part of the solution often!
Also, I think spell check isn't a good idea, because the way the question is written conveys the true emotion when quoted exactly as posed.
Manya
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (15 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHanieseds - I've been thinking about adding a blogging feature for a while I may hack a quick one together experimentally to see if there is much / any take up.
Also thought about adding some wiki-like features to add a bunch of dating articles about common problems / questions.
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (15 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnon - you can still receive email notification of answers if you are registered and post anonymously.
Faster posting of answers/questions requires more active moderators, if you want to volunteer please PM me with some details about yourself.
A.
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male
reader, HarveyZm  +, writes (15 February 2007):
My querie is rather short, I wont why I my replies cant go through to you. I get feedback that something went wrong. Any suggestions or cold you rectify this problem for me from that side. Sometimes I feel I have good advise to some problems. Harvey
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): First, this site has saved my relationship and helped me become a better man for my soon to be fiance'...Thanks!Mods I'd like to see include:*Faster posting of answers and questions*Spel chek wud b nic!*Age group of posters displayed*Maybe different sections for different kinds of questions but not too many like a forum and with a general page still that displays all like now.*abaility to recieve email notifications of answers yet still remain anonimous. Maybe an inbox within the site so it remains discreet? It's too hard for me to find my posted answers or questions.
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Oh sorry, another thing...
Is it possible to add a function (right word?) that allows us to see the age group of the question asker when we moderate the question? I think that would be really useful. :o)
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female
reader, hannieseds +, writes (15 February 2007):
Hey Andy...
How about under our personal pages we could have a blog? I know how many blog websites are out there now, but perhaps this could be something that is specifically related to relationship advice we feel strongly about or know a lot about?
Okay that made no sense.
A lot of the Aunts & Uncles on here have their areas of speciality and if they are like me, I like to waffle on about stuff and a blog, say called "How to survive it long distance" under my page could perhaps give people instant advice on long distance relationships. I could write about my experience. We all have our favourite Aunts/Uncles so it would be quite nice to look at their information and see a little bit more about them, i.e. their blogs and what they have the most experience in, in regards to relationships, of course.
I have no idea if that is feasible or wanted, and the last thing I want is for this to turn into another MySpace, but maybe limiting the number of blogs each account can have? Say 5 each or something?
Does anyone else feel this could be useful/helpful?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): Hi i love this website! i'm having manty peoblems in life since i'm super shy and only 12, but this site has been helping me!
Also, it's great to read other problems and answers because you never know what will happen 2 u in the future!
i don't think anything can be added to the site; it's perfecvt the way it is!
;)
--Alex
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): I think you should right about thoughtless men. Today is Valentines day and my boyfriend is a jerk... no gift, no card, nothing in his actions or behavior to show that today is a special day. Why do men do this? He just doesn't think about me. If I see something on tv that he would like I'll tape it for him. I make sure I always have his favorite food and drink in my frige (we do not live together) He loves Hockey, I write all of his favorite teams game dates down and remind him of them so he doesn't miss a one.. I'm not a hockey fan. How do I make him be more thoughtful? I've tried talking to him, actually right before valentines.. it obviously didn't work
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): I love you =)
This is a great site - Keep on keeping on!!!
A+ 5 star kuddos
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (14 February 2007):
errmm...we just said no chat rooms. Sorry. :)Got anymore suggestions though?
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female
reader, Granny +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Hi Andrew,
this is a great site and you are doing a wonderful job. Keep it up! There are so many good suggestions, I have nothing new to add. Just one little vote - please no chat-rooms. Thanks.
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (14 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShandy Pop - click the "followups" link it does pretty much what you ask.
Irish/Dr.John - no chat rooms.
A
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): I also have to say that i totally disagree with the idea of Chat Rooms, not good news. I think the format that we have now is the best. As Irish said, it can cause more problems for very vunerable people. PLEASE DO NOT CREATE A CHAT ROOM.
I think it would be good if we had some way of knowing if the question asker had gone back and replied to a question. Say, if the question on the questions page changed colour, or had a sign beside it. What do you think of that?
Otherwise - I love the site the way it is.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO EVERYONE!
XX
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A
female
reader, baby blue fairy +, writes (14 February 2007):
i think your site is great as it iz and please please keep it this way its soooo cool!! its really helpped me and im always on it its as good as msn even betta lol keep up the good work !!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): Please Andrew, do not consider a chatroom. I think the safest route to go would be for people on this site to PM each other and possibly talk on their own private messengers. Chatrooms are helpful if used properly, monitored and had some form of high security measures in place. Not sure how you would do that.
The whole basis of this website is to offer written text help and support to vulnerable people, who need guidance and clarity.. There are just too many predators and weirdos out there that could sign in and create angst and even bigger problems, in a chatroom format. You run a huge risk and I think a chatroom would take a lot away from the real purpose of this site, which is helping people through problems and troubled times in their lives. The forums are a fun section for Aunts/Uncles to socialize and make comments. I think that is enough. Some may or may not agree....just my opinion.
I totally disagree with this suggestion.
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male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Hi Andrew,
I have been thinking about a live chat room.
Of course I don't know if that is even possible but is something to think about. Doc John.
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (12 February 2007):
Hi Andrew,
Thank you for the "followup" information, I didn't realize there were two types of followups!
I had an idea about the national flags, as per Stina, TasteofIndia and Maxsteel86's question.
Perhaps DearCupid could have link to a flag identification corner?
Just a thought,
Manya
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (12 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the user who asked about username... I don't allow usernames to be changed because it would be confusing for everyone.
HTH.
Vina - All questions will get an answer because of the way the site is setup but by their nature some questions will get less answers than others. There is very little to prevent this because everyone wants more answers but aunts have a limited bandwidth... the way to improve is to encourage more aunts and as time goes on the average answers per question rises steadily (now 3.6, up from 2.5 just a year or so ago).
Aunts vastly outnumber uncles by around 1 male to every 4 females using the site. Although the option of asking for just male or just female answerers is something I have considered. As with everything though each new feature adds to software and product complexity and I like to keep things simple
Thanks!
A
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Hi
The site is fantastic! I am so pleased that i came across it months ago. I just love helping others, well, i hope i help them!! I like the flag idea. That helps a lot with the type of questions as other countries have very different ideas on certain matters. The point scoring is a good idea also, but i do hope some people concentrate on helping and answering the questions in mind and not trying to get to the top of the poll!!
I also think that once a question has been answered then it SHOULD be posted, not deleted. If it is not what people want to hear, then tough! - the truth usually hurts.
Apart from that i think the site is great and long may it live!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): there's a place to change your paasword but not your
user name why?
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (11 February 2007):
What can be done if question askers don't feel they have recieved enough responses to their question? For instance if the question asker only gets 1 or 2 answers? And more importantly, what if a question gets no responses or days go by without any? What can be done?
And if a question asker wants to ask a certain agony aunt a question is there a way that they can remain anonymous?
Or if the question asker only wants males (or females) to answer their question becuase they feel that would help them most or relate more, is there a way to achieve that? Maybe they need a male (or female) perspective. I mean don't discriminate and prevent others from answering but is there a way to make sure as much males answer as possible? Could you flag all the agony uncles and say 'this person needs your help, click here to reply'
Are there more agony aunts than there are uncles? It seems like there are.
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (11 February 2007):
Hey 'Hopelessromance'Moderators don't approve answers that are not helpful neither do they approve questions that don't make sense, so there really shouldn't be a need for deleting questions and answers. Question askers should make sure their question is clearly written and makes sense and explains things in enough detail that they feel is necessary. If not then they can always rephrase it or include more information and repost it or write a followup to explain things more. And also for example if I posted a heart felt response to a question and then only to find the next day that the question was deleted along with my answer... :( that wouldn't be very nice would it? I'd be like "Why did I bother? No one appreciates me, Why God?! Why?! boo-hoo" lol, just kidding, but do you see what I'm saying? :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Here, here, Gladyz! Good commentary in regards to the site..I fully concur with you. In response to the suggestion we delete one's questions/answers: I feel that being able to delete one's question simply because you don't like it, should not be considered. All questions are asked anonymously or with one's 'username'. (it's a choice) I say, leave the question as is, no option to delete. Someone else reading your posting and in a similar situation,could benefit. As for the option to delete answers, I too disagree with that. Could you not simply just scroll by and ignore the answer you don't like? Remember, we want to appreciate the Aunts who take the time to sit and type an answer and give of there time and efforts. Everyone's advice should be respected and not 'deleted' simply because the question asker doesn't like it. Again that answer may not always be the best answer or the one you don't want to read, but another person, could benefit from it. I think once a question/answer is posted, it in effect, becomes public and stays as is.
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female
reader, intoodeep +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Question.. When you post a question and you select whether or not you want a notification, does the email go to your verified address or the one set up with DearCupid.org?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): i think having this site is a very, very good idea. it is just like a meeting though every body didnt see each other personaly,it is looking like open forum, sharing, helping some good idea and its really helping people that really need some advice.some people alone need something to do' well this is one good thing to do' reading some questions, problem, answers, giving advice, sharing etc... read and learn from it... and it is open for all age, people from all over the world who come on this site i guess they never felt sorry, i think they are all happy to found this site just like me... more power to dearcupid'' every one lets have a toast.... gladyz..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): I think we should be able to delete the questions we ask incase we dont feel comfortable with question any longer or we can delete a response to a question in case we feel it doesn't help much
other than that this website is GREAT!! :oD
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (11 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDragonette... great idea! I'll look at doing that in the next update.
A.
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female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Here's another idea: by the followups link (the one one the top of the page that only contains followups to questions you've answered), can we have a "1 new" when there are new followups added?
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (10 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Dragonette, a poll is an interesting idea I'll have a think about that one and add it to the wish-list.
Any more ideas keep them coming I'll leave this post stickied for another day or so.
Thanks to everyone who has replied so far also for the PM's received some very interesting thoughts coming thru.
A.
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female
reader, dragonette +, writes (10 February 2007):
How about a poll option?
A couple of days ago I saw a post asking about "how old were you when you lost your virginity". If there was a poll option, you could see a graph as an answer along with all the comments from the agony aunts.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Hi there,
I know Stina already said this. Still... maybe when you scroll over the flag of a country, it says the name of it? I was NOT paying attention in geography class.... *sigh*.
Otherwise, I love the site. Don't change it too much!!
xxIndia
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Wallacda, your input is appreciated but...why would people want to meet up about their problems with people from the internet that they don't even know? No offense but that doesn't sound like a very popular idea. The internet is full of places to meet new people who have similar interests (myspace,bingbox,facebox the list goes on) but Dear Cupid isn't one of them. From what I know DC is for helping people with their problems not for meeting up for social events.
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female
reader, Pammie +, writes (9 February 2007):
Hey Stina - thanks for that!I guess I'd never really checked out more functionality on the site before :-)Pam x
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female
reader, stina +, writes (9 February 2007):
 I'm bored, so I hope you don't mind if I answer Pam, Andrew.
Pam, if you want to see newest answers to any question there is a link in the top menu (next to "New Questions," there is an answer link, too): http://www.dearcupid.org/newanswers
Also, there's a search bar at the top of the page. And if you want to find similar questions, you can click on the categories that a question is filed under. Sometimes there are links to similar questions already linked under the question part of the post, too.
^_^
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female
reader, Pammie +, writes (9 February 2007):
Hi Andy,
Is it possible to have a section that flags any new replies to past questions (i.e. those that aren't on the main page)?
What happens at the moment is that a question is on the main page for just over a day....and then it disappears.
The only problem with this is that, if an agony aunt (or uncle) answers this question, and their answer is uploaded on the site after the question disappears from the main page, then there is no way of knowing you have had a new reply (unless you were logged in as a member when you'd asked the question, or can remember the date that you'd logged the question in order to do a search).
Another good facility would be a search option, based on selected text search or part-sentence/headings...which could allow for someone to search for similar problems (and answers) to those that they may be experiencing.
However, these are just "nice to haves", and I have to say that the site is excellent! It has definitely helped me in the past, and I'm sure will continue to do so.
Thanks a lot,
Pam.
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVina, like the "and 1 followup" idea when browsing questions been thinking of that also... I'll try and incorporate in the next update.
Bolding also shouldn't be too much of a problem
A
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (9 February 2007):
Can we see which agony aunts are online now and when their last login was, maybe question askers want to ask a specific agony aunt a question and it might help if they know when they're online? And also just for people like me who are just curious! lol
Also can we have a bold feature instead of using capital letters?
Ever wondered who has viewed your profile? Can we agony aunts see who has viewed our profile maybe?
Just random ideas here, you don't have to pay them any attention.
Also another idea...how about for example if there was a question and it had like 4 answers, where it tells you how many answers there were can there also be something that says '4 answers plus 1 followup' Sound like a good idea?
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Manya
The "followups" link on the main menu shows you what questions have followups from the poster, the "followups" link on your yellow user bar (top of page when logged in) shows the same but just for questions you have partaken in... is that what you're after?
A.
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female
reader, Daysie +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Would like to see categories for under 18'sthen 18-30and 30-50and 50-100!Some times start reading the questions then realise the poster is still at school and I'm having a mid life crisis LOL...just a thought...otherwise excellent site.
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (9 February 2007):
Dear A. This website is truly a gem, and my only suggestion is not one that I have a solution for. It just seems that the flow of questions goes so fast that a response is most likely to happen only on the day that the question is posed.So even though there are follow-ups, it's sometimes hard to find them when it's a few days back. Maybe there could be some kind of number system - well...Anyway! Manya
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male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 February 2007):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCD206, those type of votes aren't counted when it comes to calculating top aunts so don't worry they have no effect.
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Just a small thing but maybe you could change it so that people can't rate their own answers? Apart from that love the site
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (9 February 2007):
 Lol thanks stina!
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female
reader, here_2_help +, writes (9 February 2007):
 i think the website is grate the only thing i would say is that i think you should be abel to pick the colour of are back grounds on are column
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female
reader, stina +, writes (9 February 2007):
Hey Andrew,
The only thing I would like is that the name of the country pop up on the flag in the area where the poster has asked a question. The only time I can see the country is when I go to the profile page for people. But that's not really a big problem - it doesn't happen too frequently that I don't recognize a flag...
Max, in the toolbar, if you go to "Tools," "Internet Options," "Fonts" then you can change the font yourself. That's what I did. And I also made all of DC's links pink. hee hee ^_^
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (9 February 2007):
Hi andrew, you're doing a great job! Just wondering if you could change the font? Something like arial would be easier on the eyes:-P
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