A
male
age
36-40,
*aogwan
writes: hey guys just a quick question,i am 20years old and have jus got into my first relationship,the girl i am with is a virgin bt she has had past boyfriends where she has kissed n she has kissed a couple of guys in clubs,she hasnt done anymore then that,but i feel that i am not experienced enough and her past is starting to bother me quite a bit,by the way her past couple of relationships were did not last long,about 2months and 2weeks she was cheated on twice,i jus feel like that if i was more experienced then i could understand her better,she knows shes my first proper girlfriend, i have liked girls before n vice versa but just didnt take it any further as i did not have the confidence,not being cocky bt i am not unattractive.Before she mentioned the past i wos really happy, i always wish never mentioned her past as i make the mistake of getting upset n judging her and i dont want to, she has told me the way that she feels for me she has never felt that way before,and i have been her longest relationship,shes been most physically close with me, I feel really bad about thinking about her past and i just want to think about our future and present,and block out the past how do i do this?????i really like her she is really decent past thing is bothering me,please someone help my head is hurting!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): I don't understand your concern. She hasn't done anything unrespectable. She's only kissed some guys, for gods sake. She hasn't gone off and had sex with 100 men. And even if she had, who cares? If you like her, you like her. And if she likes you, she likes you. I can, however, understand being nervous and afraid due to inexperience. But hell, you gotta learn somewhere, am I right? I say stop being a judgemental prude and deal with it. She likes you.
A
female
reader, VGA +, writes (3 February 2007):
Hi,
If u really love her, her past shouldn't matter to u. what's done is done & it can't be undone.
If u want to block out the past, u'll have to focus on the present & future, It won't happen by it'self, u have to make it happen.
Ciao
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 February 2007):
Hey sweet thang,
All right, well, first off I don't think you're going to find a lot of girls who haven't kissed anyone by the age of 20. Not to say there aren't girls out there who haven't, but most girls have gone through the 'first kiss' stage in middle school or high school.
She is not a bad person because she's kissed guys. If she's a bad person, then I am a terrible, terrible, terrible, god awful person. And probably, so is the majority of the rest of the world by age 20.
She's been the most physically close with you and you've been her longest relationship. Clearly, she only has eyes for you. If you decide to hold out for a girl who is completely untouched... well... it'll probably be awhile.
She sounds like a nice girl. Don't throw that away because she's kissed a couple of guys.
xxIndia
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