A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Chances of getting someone you barely know (only seen a couple of times) into a personal relationship?Hi, I guess I'm just at the point in high school where I guess I started to seriously think about my future life...and ya, I would like to get married someday, so I would like to find someone before its too late.So my story basically is there's this girl that goes to the same school and she takes the same early morning bus as I do, but I'm one year ahead of her (I'm 2nd year, shes first year so were not in any of the same classes) but I have that feeling that I want to be with her (Lust at first sight?), but I don't know a thing about her, not even her name (She doesn't know me either). From what I can 'see', she looks like a shy girl and highly acedemic. She looks like a really nice person too.Anyways, that's the jist of it, so I was wondering: should I just forget about her and find someone I already know (or people in the same classes) or should I try to get to know her better?And if I should try to get to know her a bit better, any ideas how I should do that?I'm not a bad guy, I always thought of myself as a nice, caring person, but nothing extraordinary. Hurts to say this, but I’ve never been in a relationship before, so any advice would be great. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi...I know it has been awhile, but thanks a lot for the advice. It took me a long time to find a such a opportunity to talk to her without too many of her friends (she gets a ride from a friend now, so I don't really see her on the bus anymore.)
Anyways, I was finally able to find an opportunity to talk to her a couple days ago, and so I gathered up all my nerves and introduced myself to her, and so I was able to get her name and a bit about what she's into (mostly school related stuff though).
I'm glad I was finally able to talk to her, but now I'm not sure what she is thinking. It was a little hard to keep the conversation going because she just gives short answers, which I thought either it was a)She's shy, she dosen't want to say too much, or b) she simply doesn't want to talk to me. Lately, I've been seeing her less and less, and I can't help with the feeling shes avoiding me. Shes really kind though, even if she doesn't want to talk, she says her "hi"'s and "goodbye"'s like she would any of her friends.
Is she just being really shy or is this a nice way of saying she's not interested...?
Any responses would be great...especially since this is an old question =x
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I think maybe you should talk to her when her friends aren't around first. If you go up to her while with her group of friends or sit with them and try to intergrate... well, it could be a little weird. One-on-one I think is your best bet. Maybe sit next to her on that bus in the morning?
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding and also for the supportive advice. I tried to talk to her today, but I didn't get much of a response, most likely because she was with some friends at the time, and besides not knowing her, I don't know her friends either =x Should I ask to sit next to her and try to integrate into the group?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 February 2007):
Hey sweetness,
All right, well - if you don't talk to her, I'll bet she'll think you're a whole lot creepier than if you do! If you don't talk to her, you'll just be that "kid who stares"... but if you talk to her, she'll know that you're a good guy and you're not a harasser or anything. I'm sure if you aren't staring her down all the time she hasn't even noticed! Maybe she's noticed you looking, but she's probably flattered and curious about you and wondering if you like her!
Don't be cautious. Be yourself and just go up and talk to her. Be strong!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, I guess I really don't have anything to lose, but I'm just worried about this one thing. I'm kinda worried that I creeped her out with my bad habit of blanky staring while I think; and I'm pretty sure she noticed. Would this be a pretty big negative impact that I should be really cautious of if I approach her?
Being rejected is probably something I can get over, but I really don't want her to hate me...or worse yet, think of me as some kind of harrasser.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 February 2007):
Well honey, two things.
First off, you don't need to find someone "before it's too late" so young. Goodness, high school is the time to be dating people and figuring out what you want in a future, permanent partner. Tons of people don't find their soulmate until they're in their 20's or 30's. Sometimes even 40's. And you have plenty of time to find yourself a lady to be your wife, so take that out of your concerns.
However, I do think that you should try to get to know this mystery girl a little better. There's no harm in talking to her a little bit and finding out what she's into. If you just go up to her and say "hi, my name is...", it'll probably start a decent conversation. Ask her what classes she's in, if she's enjoying the school... that's always good starter conversation. Then, the next time you see her, maybe ask her about music and movie or books...
Take a deep breath and go for it, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, baby blue fairy  +, writes (10 February 2007):
well its u who needs to make the first move and u dont have anything to lose so just go 4 it! give it a good go, introduce ureself if she seems shy she probablly really is but dont come across as full of ureself girls hate that in a boy justbe yourself and don't pour ure heart out moanin get to know her first take it easy but u just need to introduce ureself thats the hard bit the rest should come easy if its supposed to be but remember not everything falls into place goes perfect it wouldnt be the real world if it did best of luck GO 4 IT!!
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