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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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He doesn't want to use a condom and suggested I go on the pill - but that doesn't protect from std's! What can I do?
Q. hey, i been goin out with my boyfriend for a while now and we have decided to go all the way. there is one problem though, he wont use a condom:( hes asked me to go onto the pill, but he's been really understanding about it and said if i didnt wa...
A. 1 December 2006: Martini got it right. You tell him that if he wants to stop using a condom, then it will be your pleasure after he goes down to a local Planned Parenthood (or doctor) and gets an STD test. You ought to get one anyway for the both of you - better ... (read in full...)
I dream of a mysterious male figure kissing and touching me. Is it just hormones or what?
Q. i am only 15 years old i always and dream stuff about me getting kissed, touched etc stuff like that by a mysterious figure figure of a male. people tell me its just hormones, but i enjoy it. i need to know what is going on? and why do i dream of ...
A. 1 December 2006: I think it is a little bit of the "just hormones" thing. Do you have a major crushes right now? Maybe they're just not doing it for you and your mind is just making this guy a mysterious shadow to represent the men you'd LIKE to be kissing you.
... (read in full...)
He dunps me! Then he says he go out with me again if ..I have sex with him! What do I say to him?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me after going out 6 months. He texted me and said if I have sex with him he will go back out with me. What do you I suggest I say to that? We are both under 16....
A. 1 December 2006: What a freakin' scum bag.
What you've learned here is "lines jerks use when trying to get back with their super hot ex-girlfriends"....
Stay away from him, he's bad news. Just feel great, great sympathy for the next girl he wants to skulk a... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my guy go crazy over sex?
Q. What can I do to make my guy go crazy over sex ? Is there certain spots that will drive him nuts ???...
A. 1 December 2006: If you're looking for yoru man to jump you bones one day, it's all about the teasing. Before he goes to work, say something like, "I can't wait until you get home so we can get dirty..." maybe slip him a dirty note in his pocket. Text message him ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hates it when I'm "on"... Should I let him sleep with other girls? Is there a "third way"?
Q. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend. He's a great guy but, lately, he's been annoying me a bit. I'm 20 and he's 27. We have a good sex life but he moans when I'm on my period. I am usually on for about a week and he moans that we can't have ...
A. 1 December 2006: I'm just reiterating what everyone else is saying, but WHAT A JERK.
It's not like you can HELP that you get your period (I think I'm just super angry about this because it is my "Dark Week". But my boyfriend is nice to me during this time. It... (read in full...)
What is the ideal penis size?
Q. What do women consider to be an ideal penis size? My friend told me all women want a penis that's at least 8 inches long and 6 inches around. Is this true? I'm way below these numbers in both categories and I'm really afraid to have sex, now. Any ...
A. 1 December 2006: Oh my God, 8 inches long and 6 inches around would be positively horrifying. I would cry. Don't you worry your pretty little face. Everyone else gave you good size/dimensions for the ideal penis... I just wanted to back up that 8x6 would be ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and my BF is moving across country and has asked me to go with him! What do I do?
Q. I am 17 and i am with a boy that is 18, in january he is 19 and he is moving away, i have been with him for just over a month so far and we are so happy together, we spend as much time as possible together. He asked me to move and live with him when ...
A. 1 December 2006: I moved to the other side of the country and met a guy out here. I didn't move out here for him, but now I feel stuck. I feel torn. I live in Oregon and my family is all in New York. I hate that I'm so far away from them... it has pushed me into the ... (read in full...)
I only tell him my true feelings when I drink..and this upsets him a lot!
Q. i am madly in love with *rich. rich has told me that he loves me too... but when i get drunk i start phoning him telling him that i want him so much... i can only tell my feelings properly when ive had a drink!! i never knew this upset him, unt...
A. 28 November 2006: Well, it makes since that you start opening up when you get a drink or two into your system. That's why they call alcohol "truth serum", because suddenly the truth starts pouring out of you - be it good or bad.
It loosens up your nerves a bit too.... (read in full...)
We're not able to "fit together"
Q. alright, here is a question: My new partner and I recently tried to have intercourse. However, she is a small girl and I am well endowed. We simply were not able to "fit together" I have had only one sexual partner before this, and had no problem ...
A. 28 November 2006: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
If you're a fairly large guy, it might take a few times for her to get used to your size. Lots of foreplay + lots of lube = lots of fun. Just take your time and have fun with it. Even if it takes a ... (read in full...)
Travel anxieties..never been away from home before-any advice?
Q. Ok, not totally about relationship probs buit hopefully some of you guys can help I wanna go away for a night this week I have never really been away from home before and i feel really nervous about the whole thing It will be the furthurest iv ev...
A. 28 November 2006: The first night away from home.
Well, I feel for you, I really do (I went through it too).... but what you need to do is BITE THE BULLET. Even though it'll hurt a little bit, I promise when you're on your way, it'll feel a little nicer. Just a l... (read in full...)
I tried comfortin him after his sister's death but he says I made it worse! Now we're living apart - please help!
Q. my boyfriends sister died 2 months ago although i was there for him thru everything he says i made things worse a few weeks ago he started drinking two nights the weekend and just leaving me at home coming in at all hours im 7 months pregnant and we ...
A. 28 November 2006: How sad. Your boyfriend is really sufferng. Losing a sister can be so hard. He's probably not only pushing you away but most of the important people in his life. He really should seek some professional help... just have him talk to a therapist.
... (read in full...)
Is dating guys from the internet a good idea?
Q. Is it a good idea to date guys on the internet if you find difficult to meet new people?...
A. 28 November 2006: Like everyone says, it's not such a bad idea, but it can be dangerous. Don't be giving out your phone number right away. If you meet someone you like, meet them in a VERY public place WITH a friend the first couple times.
I met my boyfrien... (read in full...)
A 15 y/o girl won't stop texting my 28 y/o boyfriend - and he won't stop replying! Could he be a pervert??
Q. My boyfriend is 28 and has been texting the 15 year old school girl who did work experience in his office. He says that her messages amuse him. He knows she has a crush on him and is flattered. Her messages have become more flirty. He wont stop ...
A. 27 November 2006: Ugh. How creepy.
Clearly your boyfriend likes the attention he's getting from this young girl. It doesn't seem like he wants to have sex with her or anything, but it seems like he likes egging her on. He's probably never had a young girl get a bi... (read in full...)
I can remember a time as children me and my brother kissed!!
Q. I can remember a time when me and my brother french kissed he was 6 and i was 13, i feel really embarrassed when i remember this and am now 10 years older, i know this was wrong, and nothing has ever been mentioned between us and, not even a thought ...
A. 26 November 2006: You know, sometimes we just have those totally humiliating memories. It doesn't sound like you actually have feelings for your brother or any incestual inclinations, so I really wouldn't worry about it.
It'll probably make you grimace for the rest... (read in full...)
I like someone 39 years older than me!
Q. I am 17 years old an i have very strong feelings for someone a lot lot older than me. I love him to death, the only trouble is, he is 39 years older than me. When we are together we have so much fun and he makes me feel safe and happy. Other people ...
A. 26 November 2006: He's 56?!??
Think of it this way. In 14 years, you'll be 31. Still in your prime, still young enough to wear tight tops and go to clubs and have fun with your friends. He'll be 70 years old. He'll hinder your youth while you have it... you'll h... (read in full...)
I am afraid I may lose my bf because of my parents! How do I get them all to get along?
Q. I am a 19 year old female. During highschool, I had a steady boyfriend for two years. I was devestated when he broke up with me on my 16th birthday and I had a hard time getting back to living my normal life. He left for school, I immersed myself in ...
A. 25 November 2006: Your boyfriend sounds wonderful. It's lovely that he works hard to make sure you feel safe with him and that he respects your boundaries. I can understand how he would snap and say that you were living in an "unhealthy house"... it seems YOU are ... (read in full...)
Can you ever take back someone who has cheated?
Q. What are your thoughts on cheating? It's a long story so I won't go into too much detail right now. If someone cheats and then realises they have made a terrible mistake...have taken steps to try and put things right...begging for you to take the...
A. 25 November 2006: You really need to follow your heart and gut on this one. Sometimes cheating is a mistake, and mistakes happen. Maybe you should take a little break and have time to clear your head - just a few days to yourself.
An important thing to think ab... (read in full...)
We used the pull out method!
Q. okay, so im 15 and my boyfriend have been together for 3yrs. we had sex for the first time on tuesday. we didnt use a condom, he pulled out. but i think he mightyhave came a little. i didnt get my period yet this month. it is pretty irregular, and ...
A. 24 November 2006: Okay, everyone else has given great advice that I agree with whole heartedly. Pulling out? Not birth cntrol. Read through pretty much everyone's advice in regards to pregnancy, teen sex and contraception.
However, I'm writing about you failing ... (read in full...)
My current partner wants me to cut down on my visitation with my little daughter! What can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I feel as though I am in an impossible situation and don't know which way to turn, can you help! I divorced my wife earlier this year, we have a child between us who is three years old and who I see on a regular basis. I now live with ...
A. 24 November 2006: You've been with this woman for how long? And already she thinks she's more important than your own daughter? If she was separated from her son, you wouldn't ask her to stop seeing him, would you?
Family is crucial. You don't want your daughter... (read in full...)
He has 2 other girls he's having sex with...am I stupid for being in love with him?
Q. i cheated on my ex boyfriend but we got back together. after 5mths he broke up with me but we still have sex with each other only to find oue that he has had sex with two other girls and the last girl he had sex with still calls him leaving peronals ...
A. 24 November 2006: Well, you've both cheated on each other, and he broke up with you.
What in the world about this relationship is so good that you still want to be with him? Is it just the sex? Because I promise you, you'll find more good sex. It's time to let e... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to please a guy!
Q. Guys, which do you prefer: head or hand job? and any tips? x...
A. 21 November 2006: My boyfriend says, "why get the hamburger when I can get the quarter pounder with cheese?"
Which in regular talk means, head is the ultimate. The best though is an intricate combination of the two. Just ask your man which he wants next time...... (read in full...)
Do people always remember their first kiss and with whom?
Q. does first kiss mean that the person will be thinking about you all the time since you were her first kiss...
A. 19 November 2006: The first kiss is special. Most people remember their first kiss pretty clearly. Mine was in 6th grade... it was a game of Truth or Dare. He was an 8th grader - Brandon (who was pretty attractive and had an identical twin, Elliot)... I remember that ... (read in full...)
My gf wants a surprise Christmas prezzie, Oh Joy! What do I buy?
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 6 months now and I have a problem - Christmas. I asked her what she wanted and she said surprise me. Brilliant. So can anyone tell me what type of present I should get her. She knows what I lik...
A. 19 November 2006: Christmas is a tricky holiday for new couples. 6 months? The trickiest time. Jewelry can be a little too much, but a gift certificate is too impersonal. My reccommendation for a present for the lady is a reeeeaaallly pretty scarf/gloves/hat set. A ... (read in full...)
During oral, I give her my best...shouldn't she do the same for me?
Q. Do u girl's love your guy's cuming in your mouth? because my girl give's good head i will admit but because it's so good i take longer to cum and she get's bored so quick and stop's. i asked her the other night if i could jerk off and cu...
A. 16 November 2006: I feel for you, but I feel for her too. Being a lady, I can tell you that sometimes giving blow jobs just isn't the most thrilling thing ever. My jaw starts to hurt after awhile, or if he's taking forever I find myself thinking "God, will you HURRY ... (read in full...)
i want more from my bed buddy !
Q. How can i be more than a fu@* buddy? I gave this guy a blowjob but i really like him ive known him for 4 weeks and each time we see each other we flirt like crazy. The problem is.. he has loads of girls and he calls them his b****** they call him up ...
A. 16 November 2006: Ugh, if he's got girls that he's calling his "bitches" - you don't want anything to do with him. Clearly, he doesn't respect the girls he's with and he probably won't respect you either.
Have some respect for yourself and leave that loser. ... (read in full...)
I'm torn between them - one is romantic and one is everything else I want!
Q. I'm torn between two men! The guy I was seeing(Gary) is sweet, romantic, thoughtful, loving and treats me with respect. But he's not good in bed and I find I'm frequently bored with his company. Then I met this other guy (Ed) who's adventurous, ...
A. 14 November 2006: Oh, darlin'... I've been there.
In my world, I chose "Ed" eventually. He was more fun and spontaneous... I have a ball with him. However, he took me through an emotional rollercoaster of cheating and drama... I couldn't trust him! I wish I had ch... (read in full...)
Everyone thinks I'm lying about my bra size!
Q. I have a 30F chest, however it only looks about a 32C, the other day, my friends were going round asking what bra size we all were, and I told one of them she didn't believe me at all. And although i told her not to tell anyone, i think she told ...
A. 14 November 2006: You're an F and they're mistaking you for a C?? That's one hell of a jump. But, it seems pretty simple on how to prove it. Take off your shirt, show how the bra fits you perfectly, then take the bra off and show the tag.
30F... how do you stan... (read in full...)
It hurts to masturbate - any tips?
Q. hi i would like to try to masturbate but every time i try it really hurts and im not sure why, i would really like to try it, all my mates have and they said it felt great and that i should try. i tried to slip my finger into my vagina and it re...
A. 14 November 2006: Ouch!
I'm thinking that maybe you ought to go out and by yourself a little manmade wonder called the VIBRATOR. You can get 'em big, you can get 'em on a keychain. They're lovely. You can use them just on the outside of your hoo-hah and I promise ... (read in full...)
What does 'first, second, third' base mean, in dating terms?
Q. Hi guys! I'm english and just curious really as to what exactly 'first base', 'second base' etc entail? Could someone fill me in?! Thanks!!...
A. 13 November 2006: Everyone has different views. Here's what me and my boyfriend agreed on.
1st - kissing/making out
2nd - upper body gropage (basically, the boobies)
3rd - below the belt action... manually or orally (ooh la la!)
home - doin' what they ... (read in full...)
I can only achieve orgasm with toys and in a certain way. Even my bf can't make me orgasm...is this unusual?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a healthy sex life with eachother and I love having sex with him. He also took my virginity. Our sex is great and everything and it feels good but I just dont think he can ever give me an orgasm and it kinda scares me.. Im 18 ...
A. 13 November 2006: Oh my Lord,
All though I don't exactly have advice for you, I will assure you that you're perfectly normal because I have the EXACT SAME PROBLEM (or maybe we're two weirdos, I don't know).
I know my boyfriend is a great lover, but it just does... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and I'm so scared to have sex, he can't get inside! What can I do to relax?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now and we both want to start having sex. I am really scared though b/c I am a virgin. I get so scared that whenever we have tried I am so tense he can't get inside me. My legs seem to refuse to ...
A. 13 November 2006: A few things:
First, you should wait if you're really scared. Your boyfriend should make you feel safe and relaxed... maybe just wait another month or two?
However, I do know your situation. I was a virgin when I met my current boyfriend and wh... (read in full...)
Is it possible...for nerds to date the attractive girls?
Q. I'm 19, I'm at university and I'm a nerd. I've never kissed a girl (proper kiss) in my life, let alone have sex with a girl, and when I go out with friends at night to clubs, I have very little chance of getting a date with a girl as I can't dance ...
A. 12 November 2006: Confidence is key. I know you're going to hear this again and again, but it's all about having confidence in yourself. How do you go about getting that confidence? I'd suggest giving yourself a little makeover. Buy yourself an outfit that you feel ... (read in full...)
Should I shave 'down there' before my bf and I take things further?
Q. okay, so this is my question. my boyfriend and i have been at second base, but were not going further than that right now. and i was just wondering, should i shave *down there* or not, or how much or something. please help. 3 ...
A. 12 November 2006: Just like everyone else has said - I'll back it up Trimming is probably your best option. Just tidy things up down there and it'll make it nicer for both of you. Shaving is a little bit of a pain in the bum. When it starts to grow back in, it itches ... (read in full...)
I am an 18 year old female..slept with 15 guys since I was 14...Is that a lot of people for my age?
Q. im 18 years old. iv slept with 15 guys. 6 were 1 nite stands i lost my virginity aged 14 4 were relationships I only used protection with 5 of these.The rest pulled out. Do u think that it is a lot of people for my age!!????I dont dare have a...
A. 11 November 2006: Don't worry about the number - the past is the past and you can't change it. Only learn to accept it. You're fine in that regard.
However, you REALLY need to start getting on that protection. It's not the 70's anymore, and STI's are NO JOKE. th... (read in full...)
My fiancee was killed 7 years ago and I can't move on from the loss..any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a major problem and I have no idea how to handle it. My fiance, the love of my life and very best friend was killed in a car accident 7 years ago. Since then I have moved on and have now been with a man that knew my fiancee ...
A. 10 November 2006: I read your post and I was so deeply saddened by it. I offer all the condolences and sympathy in the world.
The only thing I can really offer you is this: I think you should seek some therapy. Not because I think you're screwed up - not even, I ... (read in full...)
My BF isn't very well endowed...what sexual position is best?
Q. Hi i am wondering what is the best sexual position for my boyfriend who isnt that much endowed.. he's got a small penis. I get more aroused by his hands.. at times id prefer a vibrator but i dont want to hurt his feelings as he is the sensitive ...
A. 10 November 2006: I would reccommend doggy style - but with your legs shut together rather than spread. That way it's a tighter fit for both of you. Also, this way you can touch yourself easier and he doesn't even (really) have to know if you're tricky about it. Or, ... (read in full...)
What are the emotional consequences of losing my virginity?
Q. hey im 17 and a virgin and i have been looking into losing my virginty, but whats with the emotional consequence that people keep bringing up, once iv had sex? i do see how it would effect me...advice please!...
A. 9 November 2006: "Looking into losing my virginity"... I certainly hope that doesn't mean that you're seeking out some guy to have sex with. First and foremost, sex is going to be the best with someone you care about. I'll bet 95% of people would tell you that the ... (read in full...)
My mums friend was helping me through a rough time, she said I contacted her too much, now she won't let me apologise!
Q. Ok im 16 and i met this woman( 30) my mum works with. We became friends and i started looking up like a sort of a role model. She knew i looked up to her and seemed to like that i did. My parents broke up and i need someone to talk to so i sorta ...
A. 7 November 2006: I'm really sorry about your parents....
Now, regarding your question, I'd leave it alone. If you're desperate to apologize, I'd wat for a few weeks and then send a card. Not too lengthy, just offering an apology and then after that - let it go. ... (read in full...)
Will our major taste differences in music cause our new relationship to fail?
Q. right ok, i might sound stupid, but here goes anyway.. I've have recently met a guy that i really really liked we both have the same sense of humour and make each other laugh...but..we have very different tastes in music he is into all this sc...
A. 6 November 2006: Let's examine the facts. You really, really like him.... he makes you laugh and you share the sense of humor... you're worried about the kind of music you both like? A relationship can DEFINITELY work. My boyfriend enjoys music that's not my ... (read in full...)
Has anyone met someone online and had things work out great?
Q. i just wondered wether anyone has met someone online and it worked out alright? Or even met there current gf/bf online? ...
A. 6 November 2006: I actually did meet my (incredibly handsome) boyfriend online... it happened totally randomly and to this day, I can't believe our lives crossed paths. It's been a year and a few months, we're very happy together and things are wonderful.
Hey -... (read in full...)
He smokes weed a lot..should I just forget about him?
Q. i like this guy alot..but he smokes weed ALOT! should i just forget about him?...
A. 6 November 2006: If that's not something you're in to, then yes... let him go. If you really mean a lot to each other, there could be room for compromise or quitting or something, but if you're just toying with the idea of a relationship, then I wouldn't persue one. ... (read in full...)
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