A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Help! My mum is being way to protective of me. I am 17, turning 18 next month and she doesn't want me to have a bf. I have been going out with this guy who I met through my classes at university for just over a month now and she doesn't approve, not because hes a bad person but just because hes a guy...and guys 'only want sex' (in her opinion). Shes afraid I will be taken advantage of, pushed into doing things I'm not ready for and so on. But what my mum doesn't seem to understand is that I have a strong will and I am confident that if the situation came about where my bf wanted to do something I didn't want to, I could say no easily and he would respect that and not force me. She also doesnt understand that although in general life in a push over, but when it comes to serious things about sex, I'm not so easily pushed into it. My mum wants to meet this guy but I don't want her to because I know she will embarras me like she did last time when a guy droped me home after going out and she said 'I hope my daughter is still a virgin'. -complete humiliation there.Mum also doesnt like the idea of my dating him because hes 'so much older'. Hes 18 and I'm 17 (she seems to forget her little baby is turning 18 next month...) but even though he is already 18, hes born in Nov-right at the end of the year so really hes only 5 months older. And lets be honest, a 17 year old boy and a 18 year old wouldnt be too much different besides for the fact a 18 year old can drink and go out clubbing and os on. But he doesn't even really do that often anyway. And overall mum seems to totaly disreguard what I want and how I feel. What if I want to do some of the things shes worried I will be pushed into? She thinks I'm too young and immature to make these decisions for myself because if I do, I will end up regreting them when I'm older. But thats just not fair, legally the law says I'm old enough to have sex, and soon to be able to drink and so on. But she seems to think the law is wrong.Please help! I don't know what to do. I feel that my mum meeting this guy won't help the situation cause no matter HOW GREAT he could be, the fact remains that hes a 18 year old guy, which with that comes along a sex crazy stereotype that she chooses to believe in. What do I do? She is still letting me see him, she jjust doesnt give us her 'blessing' I guess you could say. But I want her to approve and be happy about it. Her approval means so much to me.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Hi sweetness,
Well you say that you turn eighteen in a month, which makes you legally an adult. I would let this go until then... give her the last month she technically has over you. You don't need to break up with your boyfriend, just tell him what's going on and tell him you want to cool down for a month and then you'll start dating again.
When you turn eighteen, take her out for dinner and talk to her - like a friend, don't get angry at her like a daughter. Tell her that you're growing up now and that her blessing for you to date means a lot to you. Tell her that you want her to be happy for you, because you're happy for yourself. Tell her all about your new boyfriend - and be excited about it!
Maybe your boyfriend could take you and your Mother out sometime?
When you're eighteen you won't have to worry about this stuff, but I realize that Mom's approval is important to you. When you turn eighteen, talk to her like an adult.
Good luck, sweetness! Your guy sounds great!
xxIndia
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 hello
your mom is right
good luck
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A
male
reader, Dos_Vinci +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Don't worry about your mom. If no guy's good enough then it won't matter who you bring home. You can only let her meet him and hope she sees something different in him. You're kind of right about guys. We don't only want sex.. So we think but since when does anyone know what they want? Sometimes people say what they think they want (relationship, commitment etc..) then they find out they were wrong.
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