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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is it okay to have sex with my guy friend and will he still look at me the same?
Q. Is it okay to have sex with my guy friend and will he still look at me the same?...
A. 12 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
Sex changes friendships. It really does. Sometimes, VERY VERY rarely does it work, everything is peachy and you just have a little fun on the side, but most of the time, something happens. Being friends gets weird. He will see you ... (read in full...)
Do other guys say explicit things during sex ?
Q. I'm a sixteen year old female. My boyfriend of two years is eighteen years old. About two months ago we became sexually active. Sometimes he'll say things explicit things during sex. It doesn't make me uncomfortable.. infact it kind of turns me on ...
A. 11 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Oh my YES, lots of guys do the dirty talk in the bedroom. My boyfriend does - he doesn't overdo it, and yes... I know what you mean. It is kind of hot, isn't it?
I assure you your boyfriend is super normal, and if you're okay with... (read in full...)
People see me as weird and I want to sort my life out! Any advice?
Q. Dear Everyone Before I begin, my sincere apologies go out for the length of this post; it just describes my many years of secret unhappiness, which I must let out! Basically I’m fourteen and very unhappy with myself, not physically but perso...
A. 11 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Upon reading you letter, which was a loud cry for help, I think the best I can suggest to you is seeing your school counselor or seeing a therapist. No, I don't think that you're crazy, but it sounds like you've had a lot of really h... (read in full...)
Would you forget to call someone you love a lot?
Q. When you love someone so much, would you choose in not forgetting to call that person? Does it really happen that one forgets to call? or is it just some lame excuse?...
A. 10 May 2007: Oh my, oh MY.
I don't thin kyou can really CHOOSE to forget. To "forget" is to make a mistake. I know that sometimes I forget to call my Mother (doesn't mean I don't still adore her and love her to pieces), and sometimes I'll forget to call my ... (read in full...)
My partner likes sleeping in, but I want us to spend time together in the morning!
Q. My partner and I have a very loving relationship... there's just one problem. Our sleeping hours don't mix. Doesn't sound too bad does it? But it really effects me. Basically what is upsetting me is that when I get up in the morning my partner ...
A. 10 May 2007: Hi there,
I'm coming at this from another side. I am a sleep-er in-er. I haet waking up early. Since when I was small, if I wake up early, I am very, VERY cranky, I have the tendency to bite people's heads off, I'm not very nice and I can't re... (read in full...)
What's preferrable: big boobs or small boobs?
Q. So, what do guys prefer?? big boobs or small boobs?? Personally ive got big boobs so knw how guys react to them. But really wats better?? xxx...
A. 10 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
I used to work with naked woman, and trust me. Men like BOOBS. Big ones, small ones, all guys are different. They just love BOOBS. They aren't picky. Love the boobs you have and hold them proud!! Neither size is bigger or better. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what male sperm tastes like when he comes during oral and can it do harm of swallowed?
Q. Can anyone tell me what male sperm tastes like when he comes during oral and can it do harm of swallowed?...
A. 10 May 2007: He sweetness,
It's not bad for you... as CD said, it's a great source of protien! How does it taste? Well, it's salty... mostly it's the texture. It's thick and kinda mucus-y... ooze-y... I wouldn't go straight to swallowing. Maybe try licking ... (read in full...)
She just wants me to be her dirty little secret!!!!!
Q. Im in love with a girl who is already going out with a guy. she said she would break up with him for me but once her parents found out they forbid her from seeing me. her parents have spoken to alot of her friends and even a few of our teachers to ...
A. 9 May 2007: Wow, why is it her parents forbid you to see her? Sounds pretty major? If they have their reasons, I suppose there's not much you can do... parents reign at your age. You are young and I promise you that more women will come along.
Sorry, sweetnes... (read in full...)
I've not had sex in 3 months and suddenly find im masturbating more! Is this normal ?
Q. I'm 25 and its going on 3 months since I last had sex. Lately I find myself masterbating more frequently and watching porn. Is there something wrong I've never been like this before. ...
A. 9 May 2007: There is NOTHING wrong with masturbation. Safest sex you can have!! No worries, sweetness...
xxIndia... (read in full...)
In an affair and would love him to leave and be with me... how?
Q. hi this is crazy i got myself an affair...20 years age gap me being the young one. we are both very into each other but i dont know how much longer i can carry on. my feelings for him drive me crazy and snap for him. this was not planned or thought ...
A. 9 May 2007: He sweetness,
If him and his wife have a chance of making their family whole, you should DEFINITELY step out of the way. Leave your man and let him connect with his children and stop the lies in his relationship. Find someone who can give you his ... (read in full...)
He says that we will marry and have children, but cant seem to believe him as he wasnt there for me!!
Q. I'm really confused about the way my boyfriend feels about me. He says he loves me, says he's going to marry, says we'll have children. He says all the right things, like i'm the most important thing to him and he just wants to see me happy. (h...
A. 9 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
I think this particular incident you should let go. If you rman had been drinking and you live 100 miles away, that could be a danegrous thing for hi. If he was over the limit, perhaps he was too drunk to drive and he could've... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he called since the night we kissed?
Q. I need help! I recently broke up ( 3 months ago) with my boyfriend of 4 years because I found he was cheating on me. That is really beside the point. The point is I haven't dated in so long and last time I was single I was in college and it was ...
A. 9 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
What I would do in this situation is shoot him a text or an e-mail that says:
"Hey there. I had a lot of fun hanging out with you the other night... I'd love to see you again sometime. You know my number, you go ahead and give m... (read in full...)
He calls out his 17 year old daughter's name in bed and he likes underage porn! What is going on with this guy?
Q. My boyfriend has a giant porn collection that i discovered recently. he watches them when i leave the house even if its for a few minutes. some of the dvds are underage porn. i am worried because his 17 yr old daughter is coming to live with us. ...
A. 8 May 2007: Whoaa, I agree with "Honesty". I don't think his daughter should be moving into this house, because this situation is sketchy. Calling out his daughter's name during sex suggests more problems...
The underage porn is NOT cool. This guy might ha... (read in full...)
How do I best please my girlfriend so that she will forget how clumsy I was the first time?
Q. I had sex for the first time with my girlfriend (and ever) a few days ago. It was so bad even I had to admit that to myself, and it was my fault. It was really clumsy among other things. Should I just ask her what makes her aroused or should I just ...
A. 8 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
First times are ALWAYS clumsy and a little awkward. The sex will get better, I promise you. Now that the ice has been broken, you can have a little more fun. Make sure that you both are talking to each other and enjoying yourselv... (read in full...)
Is it bad that I'm introducing my younger sibling to these kind of games? Any views.
Q. To some this may seem out of wack ... but I'm 7 years older than my one of my siblings children and we play all those spin the bottle to the next level or strip spin the bottle kind of games with our own made up rules (no sex involved) with the...
A. 8 May 2007: If your SIBLINGS are at least twenty years old, I don't see anything wrong with this kind of stuff. Not really... as long as you're in a safe enviornment with people you trust. If your siblings are under nineteen-twenty, you should probably stop ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys like tall girls?
Q. ok, im 13 and ive never had a boyfriend because of my height. Why don't guys like tall girls and i masturbate a lot it that normal?...
A. 7 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
As for the masturbation, yes. Totally normal. As for your height? First off, you're young and most guys are intimidated by tall girls... give them just a few years and they'll probably outgrow you! If you stay taller than the boys... (read in full...)
I know I'm not going to live up to my parents expectations with my school grades - how do I talk to them?
Q. I'm leaving school in a week and im really scared....my mum and step dad expect A's and B's in my GCSE's and i know im not getting them and i dont wana let them down!...i need 2 talk to them but im worried! i also am nearly 16 and never allowed out ...
A. 7 May 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
I know you're not going to like my advice, but it sounds like to me that your parents don't let you go out maybe because of your grades? To get freedom, you need to earn it. If you do get good grades, I'll bet you can talk to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is away on a trip for 3 months and I want to have cybersex with him but how do I instigate this?
Q. My boyfriend has been away on a trip for three months. He won't be back for another month and a half. We have been emailing and talking on the phone when we can. I have never had cybersex or phone sex, but I really miss him and I want to. I don't ...
A. 7 May 2007: I think Dragonette is right on. Instigating will be easy (unless your boyfriend is really dense and not getting the hints). I think all you have to do is sometime when you're chatting online, tell him that you miss him and if he were there with you, ... (read in full...)
It's not a competition.... is it?
Q. What are your thoughts on whether or not a man and a woman "complete" each other in a marriage? Don't you think they both have something to bring to the table to offer the other one that the other one may be lacking?...
A. 7 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
All couples are different. Ever heard the phrase "opposites attract"? Or how about "birds of a feather flock together". Even clichés suggest that both can be true. My boyfriend and I are like yin and yang... but I know some couples ... (read in full...)
Could the boy she cheated with still be the father?!
Q. My best friend has been with her boyfriend for quit sometime now and she has recently found out she's a month in a half pregnant.. She cheated on her boyfriend and had sex with another boy and he came inside her.. Can he still end up being the ...
A. 7 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
If your friend cheated on her boyfriend abou a month and a half ago, then yes he could absolutely be the father. ANY sperm will do the trick for pregnancy. If she's not sure who the father is, tell her that she should get a paternit... (read in full...)
When we talk now, we have nothing much to say! Is this normal for couples?
Q. Is it natural over time for a couple to not have anything to talk about over the phone. Me and my girlfriend use to have long conversations at the first of our relationship and it was great to be able to. But now when we talk we have nothing to talk ...
A. 7 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Yes, very natural. You run out of conversation after awhile. ESPECIALLY on the phone, lots of blank pauses, etc. Don't worry about it, doll... doesn't mean your relationship is falling apart, it just means you'll have to grow to ... (read in full...)
Shed dumped me after our holiday together. Now she wants the photos from that holiday! What should I do?
Q. I wrote in a couple of months and I was in a bit of a mess.... I'd been on a long-haul holiday with girlfriend of 6 months and she had dumped me 2 days after our return. Well, I've been making great progress, until last weekend when she txt me to ...
A. 7 May 2007: I agree with "Miserable", go ahead and give her the pictures (if you don't, that will only cause drama, hurt feelings and grudges), and keep moving on with your life. You sound like you're doing a good job getting over it, and I completely ... (read in full...)
Do women reject men for the silliest of reasons, whereas men do not generally do that? Is this true?
Q. I have had a personal experience to realize that women reject men for the silliest of reasons, whereas men do not general do that. Is this true? Or i am generalizing too much?...
A. 7 May 2007: I think you may be generalizing, but that's just me. In my community of friends, it's usually the guys who are pickier. "Her earlobes hang down too low", was a reason that one of my guy friends dumped a girl. RIDICULOUS! Guys who just can't settle, ... (read in full...)
My parents are divorcing and I have to wonder...are all marriages bad?
Q. My parents are starting to go through a divorce at the moment, they're fighting a lot and it kind of upsets me sometimes. But recently I've been wondering, are all marriages bad? Are there people out there in this day and age, where divorce ...
A. 7 May 2007: Not all marriages are bad... some people are luckier than others. My parent shave been together for twenty years and theyy're very happy together. They both make efforts in the relationship and know that they love each other, it's just a matter of ... (read in full...)
Should I give him 'head' and would doing this make me his official gf?
Q. My Boyfriend recently asked me to let him "smash" (have sex). i told him yes. and he started to get more into it. I havent let him yet but i am going too. He asked me the other day if i "sucked dick" and i told him no he asked me would i do it for ...
A. 6 May 2007: Sweetness, you should never do anything you're not comfortable with. I know that you like this guy, but to be honest he sounds like a little bit of a jerk. Any guy should be happy to be with you even WITHOUT the sexual pieces. If you tell him that ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to him?
Q. I'm 16 and all my mates have lost their virginity to their long term boyfriends. I have been going out with my boyfriend for just over three years. I love and i know that he loves me back. We haven't gone any further than kissing. Should i lose my ...
A. 5 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Trust me, I've been where you are. All my friends lost their virginity at an early age - right around your age. I wanted to do it too so that I'd be able to chat it up with them and share sex stories.
Believe me, sweetness. It is... (read in full...)
My friend just started jerking me off even though he knows I'm a hetrosexual male!
Q. I stayed around a mates house the other week and we all stopped in the same room and some of us shared a double bed but made sure we had our own space. Well not long after that the lad lying near me moved very close to me and decided to put his hand ...
A. 5 May 2007: It's okay that you pretended to be asleep and actually sort of enjoyed yourself. As everyone else said, it's TOTALLY normal to experiment. It doesn't mean that you're gay just because you had a little late night fun. There is nothing wrong with ... (read in full...)
For the last 10 years I have shown my wife no affection, I nearly lost her.. how do we get back to the beginning?
Q. I have been married for 11 years and have 2 children - 11 and 8. In the beginning (maybe the first year) things were great, but soon after I started rejecting my wifes advances for sex and affection. So we would go for months at a time without ...
A. 5 May 2007: Your wife sounds like quite a catch - she's quite eloquent. I'm glad that you've grown to see that.
There's been a lot of wasted time in this marriage, and I think that you owe her the effort to fix things. I think maybe if you both can get vaca... (read in full...)
I really really like this guy but he's Asian - do they only like Asian girls or should I go for it?
Q. This guy who I used to sit next to in orchestra is sooo cute and I really like him but hes so quiet and shy. I think he might like me too because sometimes when I glance over at him I see him staring at me and when ever I talk to him he always ...
A. 5 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
It sounds like this guy likes you! Why don't you go for it? Asian guys do not go for exclusively one race, just like you don't. I'm sure he doesn't care what you look like or what shade your skin is... it sounds like he liikes y... (read in full...)
Are spanking games normal, sex-wise?
Q. are spanking games a normal part of sexplay if both the boy and girl like to play. ...
A. 5 May 2007: Spanking games are TOTALLY normal, especially if both parties involved are enjoying themselves. Spanking stuff can be a lot of fun! Just make sure you are really open with each other... maybe make a safe word just in case one of you starts hurting ... (read in full...)
I don't have a problem with pornography per se, but it has been quite excessive with him in the past.
Q. He says I Live in cloud cuckoo land because he hides pornography in his car and I say its not right. I don't have a problem with pornography per se, but it has been quite excessive with him in the past. Some time back I noticed the carpet in front ...
A. 4 May 2007: Whoa, I think he really is a little different from "other blokes". If he is hiding magazines in the floor and in the panels of his car, he has definitely got an adiction. I know that men love porn, but if you man has 30 or MORE magazines, my ... (read in full...)
What is flirting and how do you flirt?
Q. What is flirting? How do you flirt? I hear my friends going on about flirting with guys and i hate not understanding exactly what the word means....
A. 4 May 2007: Flirting is what people to with each other when they like each other. For instance, say that I have a crush on a guy named Gerald. Then I'll try to let him know that I like him by FLIRTING. I'll smile at him, maybe touch him playfully, I'll talk to ... (read in full...)
Is there something I can do to...climax?
Q. Hi. I'm almost 21 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for more than a year and a half now. We are very happy and I believe we are made for each other. The problem is, I can't climax. We sleep together and we've tried so many times, ...
A. 3 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
I could've written this. I'm 20 years old, dating my guy for a year and a half, we're very happy and everything and even though the sex is AMAZINGLY AWESOME, I can't orgasm to save my life. All though I don't have an answer for you,... (read in full...)
The semester is almost over and our last class is this wednesday, and i don't know whether to ask him for his email or myspace or what?
Q. I think this guy in my sculpture class is really cool. He is friendly and talented and helped me learn how to begin sculpting because I had no experience with clay before taking this class. We chit chat sometimes and we even had lunch together once, ...
A. 30 April 2007: You've got to grit your teeth and do it or else you're always going to wonder "what if?". Like Penta said, be bold!! Bite the bullet! Don't let a good opportunity pass you by!
I think you know what you ought to do, I think you just need some mor... (read in full...)
I love him so dearly that I can't do without him, but he is proposing to marry the mother of his 7 year old child!
Q. I have a lover that is about 28 years old. I love him so dearly that I can't do without him. We have been dating for 2 years now. The problem is that he has a son of 7 who lives with the mother and he is proposing to marry her. Please help me. I ...
A. 30 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
This might not be the advice you want to hear, but think about his son. If that family has a shot of being a whole one, don't you think you should step back and let them try? His son may have a chance of having a Mom and Dad who live... (read in full...)
My gf steals pint glasses from the pub we go to a lot..and I am worried she might get caught! Any advice?
Q. Okay this is going to sound silly but everytime we go out for a drink, my girlfriend wants to steal pint glasses! lol! And I don't think its a good idea as we go their each week and she may get caught. She has stolen a number of glasses from pub...
A. 30 April 2007: What a funny situation!! Ha ha, but I totally connect. I used to steal the Coca-Cola glasses they had at Denny's. Me and my cousin thought they were such great glasses!
Anyhow, the best you can do is tell her that you're worried shes going to... (read in full...)
Dated two nice ladies off a dating site. The trouble is that I like both of them and cannot choose between them.
Q. Since my last (traumatic) break-up, where my ex was sleeping with her ex and others behind my back, I began internet dating. I didn't sleep with anyone for the first few months, as I was just enjoying the dating side of it and was enjoying getting ...
A. 30 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Wow, you sound like such a nice guy (I mean it)... these girls are lucky to have you in the first place!! I think Rammsteinfan had a great idea with her suggestion of writing a list. In your particular situation, I think you need to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I played around a bit, now that I'm home I feel like I've done something wrong.
Q. hi i have just got home from my boyfriends house and i was lookin on this site and my question is nothing like anyone elses .. but i have just come home like i said and i feel really guilty. i dont know why i feel guilty but i just do, i refuse to ...
A. 29 April 2007: He sweetness,
Don't feel BAD that you don't want to have sex with your boyfriend. You're right, you are a little too young to be having sex, but obviously you're not too young to make the right decision in waiting! Good for you.
Do you feel g... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I played around a bit, now that I'm home I feel like I've done something wrong.
Q. hi i have just got home from my boyfriends house and i was lookin on this site and my question is nothing like anyone elses .. but i have just come home like i said and i feel really guilty. i dont know why i feel guilty but i just do, i refuse to ...
A. 29 April 2007: He sweetness,
Don't feel BAD that you don't want to have sex with your boyfriend. You're right, you are a little too young to be having sex, but obviously you're not too young to make the right decision in waiting! Good for you.
Do you feel g... (read in full...)
What do I tell him if he asks to have sex with me again? I'm 18, he's 49 and married with kids!!!
Q. i am soooo in need of ANYONES help! i've never been in a situation like this. ok here it goes... lets just start off by saying that i can get very flirtacious and get carried away.. its kinda sad but yea. anyway so my manager at the place i work at ...
A. 29 April 2007: Yes. Yes, you can tell him that it's totally wrong and remind him that he's married.
I'm not going to ream you out for getting a little frisky with your manager. You know that it wasn't a great thing to do, good for you. However, if you let your... (read in full...)
What else could cause her to be dry tonight after 3 days no sex?
Q. Ive been dating this girl for about 6 months, I lost my virginity to her about 5 months ago. Anyway, she has been really into me and we have a good time together but she has been really weird lately. Every time we have had sex she is always very w...
A. 28 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Maybe she's just got a lady problem that she's embarressed to tell you about. Now, I'm not sure what that problem is... but I assure you, masturbation or sex with another won't make her dry up. As Floraltempotations said, that wil... (read in full...)
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