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We are both 15 and never had sex! So is it wrong just for us to be sleeping in the same bed?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

is this against the law? Me and my gf have been going out about a year we are both 15 and are sleeping together a few times(NO SEX) and by that i mean just to sleep. Yes we do kiss and cuddle sometimes but we don't have sex and are still both virgins. We have no intentions of having sex till we are both ready and old enough. Is it wrong just for us to be sleeping in the same bed?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

my motto on this subject is: "you do more when you're awake than when you're asleep, so what harm does sleeping do?"

hope everything goes ok =] xx

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A female reader, brucebrae United States +, writes (28 March 2007):

me and my boyfriend take naps together all the time but we haven't slept a whole night togehter because our parents won't let us, i think its perfectly fine. i would do the same.

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A female reader, ~*~MissMe~*~ +, writes (26 March 2007):

~*~MissMe~*~ agony auntNah its definitely not wrong!And you people who think its bound to lead to something more are completely wrong! I am 15 and my boyfriend is 16,we have been together for nearly 15 months and we have been sleeping in the same bed together pretty much every weekend for 8 months and we havent ONCE done anything sexual!Obviously we'd like to,but we are aware of the complications which can become of having sex at a young age. We love each other very much and i agree with you,it DOES feel great to cuddle your partner all night long. However, i would advise you not to sleep half dressed or completely naked,just stay in full pyjamas. I hope your relationship works out well and that you continue to have as much respect for each other as you obviously do now. xxxx

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A female reader, pebbam +, writes (25 March 2007):

From a 17 year old point of view, i must debate against the other answers.

I have been sleeping over at my boyfriends for around 6 months out of a year of being together. Although we do have sex, during the occasions when i sleep round we hardly do many sexual activites. The whole point of sleeping over is so that you can be together and cuddle up. I dont believe this always leads to sex and even if they eventually do have sex, it doesn't mean that the girl will get pregnant. They sound like a mature 15 year old couple and im sure contraception would be discussed.

From your question, it sounds like you and your girlfriend have discussed the issue of sex and you should be even more respected as it is a boy posting the question which cancells out further motives.

Good luck with your relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007):

I thought the same as Irish - how are you two managing to sleep together without involvement from your parents?

You may feel it is innocent as you sleep together without getting sexual but I am assuming you've only done it a couple of times. "We have no intention to have sex" must have been said by millions of people across the planet - few people your age ever plan to have sex but these things do and will happen, feelings at the time completely take over your brain - ask anyone who has had sex before!

I doubt that either of you will be able to sleep together much longer without progressing to becoming intimate - and do you, friend, have some condoms nearby? Of course not - because you're not ready to have sex yet.

I advice you to resist from sleeping in the same bed again - no matter how nice it feels - until a time you can both properly prepare for the consequences of a sexual relationship. If you truly respect and care for the welfare of your girlfriend I believe you will do this. All the best.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (24 March 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntIt's not wrong at all, however whatever your parents think is acceptable goes. I can understand (all though I'm not a parent) how your parents might not allow that kind of thing, because cuddling in the same bed can lead to more.

However, from a moral stand point and assuming that your parents are okay with it, absolutely nothing is wrong with sharing a bed if you're not "doing it". Congratulations on making the decision to wait until you're ready. That's a responsible mind you both have... just make sure if/when you make that decision, you're safe about it!

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007):

Wow! Don't take me wrong here, dear-but I have to wonder and bear with me, please because appreantly, I am an old fuddy-duddy...lol but where are the parents and the house rules, here? I have a teen boy of 15 here at home and I raised two children through to adulthood (26 & 28) and in their teen years, none of their bf's or gf's slept overnight, in my home! Or did they even assume or even suggest it. They knew the answer already because they respected the home and the family rules. Oh yes...sure, they talked, laughed, cuddled and likely kissed/made out a bit on the couch downstairs in the family room, watching a movie or listening to music-- but actually sleeping in the same bed, together for a 10 hour stint, overnight..no way! I never allowed such a thing. I'm not saying they didn't sexually experiment-I can't honestly say that. But, my daughter never had a teen pregnancy, my son's gf's never got pregnant, nor did we deal with std's or the like. I would think that allowing one's teens gf or bf to sleep over is like 'playing with fire' and just asking for a HUGE problem.

I hope you two are fully aware of the practises of safe sex, because lying in each other's beds at night just cuddling could and likely will lead to sex, eventually. I don't care how much trust and liberal leeway you both get in each other's homes...always have those condoms handy or within reach. I do credit you both with having the common sense and the willpower to abstain. Try to do that as long as you can possibly hold out. So to answer your question...no it isn't against the law. If her parents or your parents are okay with that, it's their home, their rules. Of course, you should be glad I am not her Mother, because you'd be scooted out the door to your own home..when it was time for lights out. lol But this is just my opinion and what I did with my teens. So, I will continue learning that not everyone shares my values on proper modicum in a home and say--*sigh*...each to their own. Damn, I learn a lot from this site!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007):

HI:)

I know what you mean I'm 13 and my b/f is 14 and we want 2 sleep together but just sleep(no sex) and I told my mom about it and she said that was crazy!!!!!But it's not crazy it feels very good 2 cuddle with the person that you love trust me I do it all tne time!!!But I wish we can do it in bed I want 2 know how it feels!!!!I guess it's okay if your parents and her parents know if they don't know you should tell them!!!!!!Well hope I helped good luck:)!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Selenne:)

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A female reader, livi United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2007):

livi agony aunthey there,

of coarse it isnt wrong! Thats far better then rushing into having sex so young. Its a very mature decision, sounds like you like her and are not using her for sex.

Good luk : D

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 March 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think its wrong that you are both sleeping in the same bed together, I take it yours/her parents are ok with this too?.

I think its very mature of you both to wait till you are ready and old enough.

But just beware that if you are sleeping together the kissing and cuddling over time could materialise into something more. If this should happen i hope you will take the nessesary precautions.

Good luck

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