A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I seperated from my ex 2 years ago and he divorced me last year. Shortly after separating, I got together with a, then, friend of his and we are together and very strong. My ex and I have 3 children together, age 10, 7 and 6. He was seeing them regularly until last year when two of them ran away (10 yr and 7yr old) saying that he was constantly hitting them. The police got involved etc but it was resolved and he now sees all the children for 2 hours a week, unsupervised. Everytime they come back, they say how he tells them, that I am on drugs, that I am going to leave them, that I am a f*****g whore, anything, you name it, he says to them, and also that he is going to kill my boyfriend and I. He says this quite regularly. My question is this, should I continue to let him see them, and ride the storm as they still want to see him, or do I stop all contact in view of what he is saying. They would hate me for stopping contact, so I am unsure what to do. Do you think he will get over me in time and stop saying things to the kids or should I stop all of this now.
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female
reader, livi +, writes (24 March 2007):
 hey there,
you cant completly stop your children seeing their father. weather you like it or not they are half his.
you could slaughter his name as well but would that really get you anywhere?
take a mature look on it, tell them your father is a bit emtional at the moment but i am not going to hurt you becoz i love you very much etc.
maybe you could call up your ex and let him know what he is doing is imature and pointless.
Good luk with it all : D
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Hi, me again! Child Services say they will only protect the children if in harm, they say a protective mother means their not vulnerable. The reason the police case was dropped was because I didnt pursue it to a full court hearing. I didnt think it was in the best interests of the children. I dont want to stop them seeing their father, but would that do more harm than good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): i am the original poster. hi, 2 hours access is all he wants to see them for. these were his stipulations for access.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): i am the original poster. hi, 2 hours access is all he wants to see them for. these were his stipulations for access.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 This is a touchy situation. You should probably get some legal help with this one whether it is an attorney or even asking a police officer for advice on which way to proceed. In this way you can at least get the children out of the hostile environment.
I am in the states so I can only tell you what we have available here but perhaps you have something similar. Here we have child protective services that can be contacted and they can help. I hope you can find something like that there that can help. I hope it goes well for you. Doc.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 Keep a journal, with dates, of every threat, every incident and every time your ex hits your children. The police have already been involved, so it won't take much to at least get him BACK to supervised visits. At least that would be preferable to having your Ex use foul language and threaten their Mother. Your kids must be terrified, and there is no reason to expose them to this. Supervised visits would at least keep him happy, stop him from being abusive and keep your kids safe. Please seek legal help and document everything that is happening. I don't think you would be out of line if you chose to cut ties, but it could also escalate the venom and perhaps a conservative choice could placate him right now. I'm not their mother, however, and you are ultimately the best judge of how dangerous and spiteful your Ex is. Good Luck and God Speed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): i think to be honest, rather than taking his kids away fro him, you should relax and arrange fairer access, they are his kids too! let him see them more, 2 hours a week is not a long time. imagine if you were in his position. also think what he hears from the kids about u and ur new partner. i think ur atitude about ur ex husbands right to see his kids has become warped, u say 'unsupervise' like you are proud of it, it would be the very mininmum i would expect in his situation. finaly, if the police hav found your husband innocent, it is unfair of you to suggest oterwise.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 March 2007):
 I think that you need to either stop your kids from seeing this maniac or you need to have him doing supervised sessions with his kids. Having your kids hear these awful things from the parent that used to HIT them is not healthy for them AT ALL. Maybe they'll be angry now, but if you don't do anything it could really effect them in the future.
Do what's right here, for you and your kids.
xxIndia
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