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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What tips can you give me about making sex better for my boyfriend and I?
Q. Please help. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly six months and we have started to try and have sex. I can make him come by blow jobs but so far he has only given me handjobs. These used to be very intense for me but recently I just haven't got ...
A. 27 May 2007: Hi there, sweetness...
Well, you're not the only one who has had a difficult time losing her virginity. I know the feeling. For me, I just couldn't relax, it was painful, he just couldn't "get in" and it took us a month - yes, a MONTH, to finally ... (read in full...)
She's cheated on me and I know... but she doesn't know I know - what should I do?
Q. My partner has cheated on me at least once, she doesn't yet know I know. What should i do, i love her to bits, but she continues to lie to me. We have a son, he is almost two, i cant see him hurt by this, but i can hardly stand to look at her....
A. 26 May 2007: Well, first things first. You have to tell her what you know. Otherwise, you're going to drive yourself crazy, and she's going to continue tangling herself up in her lies.
I don't think that you have to break up immediatly. I think that this is ... (read in full...)
I'm good looking (people say) but look young for my age!
Q. What is the best way to start chatting to a girl in a club? I would class myself as a nice guy, i get loadsa compliments saying im good looking, but i think my downfall is i look young for my age. I'm 19, but probably only look 16, and this kno...
A. 26 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
DV1 gave you great advice, I just want to add in a little sumthinsumthin' about your young face. This, despite what you may think, is a blessing. Since you look young for your age, in theory you will ALWAYS look young for your age... (read in full...)
After we had sex he said, "we are seeing each other, to see how we get along". What did that mean?
Q. hiya, slightly confused here. after to speaking to a few people i still have no idea so i bring the question here if you are seeing a guy, does it mean its nothing serious but really just sex? the line i was given was' we are seeing eachot...
A. 26 May 2007: I guess he could in theory be saying that you gus are simply "dating", just getting to know each other, that you're not in a official "relationship" yet. Going slowly, you know... I think that that's a big possibility. Perhaps that's what he ... (read in full...)
When a guy you know says he won't kiss you because you are drunk, what does that mean?
Q. Hi, i'm a bit confused. I know there are lots of guys who will gladly kiss a girl when she's drunk becuase i suppose it's easier for them to be taken advantage of and all that... however, when a guy you know says he won't kiss you because you are ...
A. 26 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
It means that he's a gentleman! Oooh, girl, I'm jealous. Clearly you've found a keeper who respects you enough to wait to make his move until you're sober. He doesn't want to take advantage of you, he wants to make sure that you... (read in full...)
First time sex with my bf hurt real bad! Was this normal?
Q. I am a 20 year old girl and me and my boyfriend tried to have sex yesterday for the first time (I was a virgin, he wasn't) and it really hurt and I had to tell him to stop. Now I feel bad that I had to stop him and I'm scared something is wrong with ...
A. 25 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Oh my, you are normal. And so is the pain. When I first began having sex, it hurt so badly that I also had to ask my boyfriend to stop. In fact, I had to ask him to stop for an entire MONTH before my body relaxed enough for him to g... (read in full...)
Affairs are not worth it! Thanks for everyone's advice!
Q. about a week ago i posted this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-know-how-to-end-it-what.html I just want to thank all those who replied to me.I know what i did was wrong but i also know now that i have to live with the guilt. F...
A. 25 May 2007: Amen. Congratulations on your epiphany!! You sound like you have definitely learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that your words will help others in their choices.
Enjoy your family!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
I write out my feelings when I feel sad. Why can't the guy I'm dating could read my texts and realise that I'm hurting and I need his attention?
Q. when i am frustrated I have a tendency to scribe, i mean sending out sms and letters and notes... to the people especially the ones i am dating. What i have realised is that the more i scribe is the more i push them away, or its the more they do not ...
A. 24 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
I liked everyone else's advice here, I'm just going to add in another little tid bit. Maybe when you're feeling frustrated, you should write out a letter instead and then wait until you can talk to your man face to face - or at least... (read in full...)
Does my gf not value my opinions? Any advice?
Q. I was left feeling felt un-needed, Last night i spent over an hour helping my girlfriend sort out a problem.... not a huge one but still... The problem was: She has work today for a temping agency and at the same time she has a job interview......
A. 24 May 2007: Sure, she values your opinion. But as DV1 says, yours is not the end-all-be-all of opinions. In your reltionship, you should always be ready to help, but support her no matter what she chooses. Maybe your girlfriend was already sort of thinking that ... (read in full...)
Can getting fingered with pre-cum on my BFs hands make me pregnant? I'm scared I am!
Q. hi i have been dating my boyfirend for a year now and love him very much. We are both head over heels and are very close. We have decided not to have sex because we are underage but mostly because we are scared of the risk of getting pregnant. L...
A. 23 May 2007: Negative, hooray!
Congratulations and next time make sure that he washes his hands!!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Can you tell if a guy gets hard if he's wearing jeans?
Q. Me and my guy were making out and I was on top of him and grinding a little bit into him and he was wearing jeans and I kept trying to see if he was hard but I don't think he was. Maybe I'm just too ugly or something. It made me feel like crap! I ...
A. 21 May 2007: Sweetness,
Firstly, if he was wearing thick and fitted briefs under those jeans, it is ENTIRELY possible that you couldn't feel a hard on. Secondly, even if he didn't get hard, it doesn't mean that you're ugly or that he didn't enjoy himself.... (read in full...)
If a female has a piercing between her bottom lip and chin does that mean she's bi-sexual?
Q. If a female has a piercing between her bottom lip and chin does that mean she's bi-sexual? I've been told that kind of piercing mean the person is bisexual... just wanted to know if its true or not?...
A. 21 May 2007: It doesn't mean ANYTHING. It means that she wanted her labret (that's the piercing you're talking about, yes?) pierced. I just want to remind you, sweetness, that no piercing or any kind of tattoo or hair dye or jewelry can tell you whether or not ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my wife for anal sex?
Q. How do I ask my wife for anal sex? We used to do it. I'd always wait for her to ask. No pressure! But now it's been about 4 years it doesn't happen. I miss it a lot....
A. 21 May 2007: Hi there,
Since you are married, communicating about things liike this should be easy.
Pick a private moment (don't ask her while she's getting ready for work, or if she's running errands) and say, "hey... you remember when we'd get wild? I... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me cum on her face?
Q. She let's me do it in her mouth everytime I ask, even swallows sometimes. She let's me do it on he rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?...
A. 21 May 2007: Okay, clearly you've never gotten semen in your eye.
If you really want to know why she doesn't want it in the face, it's because taking it in the face is kinda gross, stings the eyes, messy as hell, and not to mention, it can feel pretty degradin... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family that I want to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend? She is a bit older and I'm afraid they might not approve?
Q. Hey everyone! Iam a 21 male and my GF is 24! We are already talking about spending the rest of our lives together. Her family knows about me but my parents do not know about her. Only my sister does. I want to tell my parents about her but I dont ...
A. 21 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
The age gap between you and your girlfriend isn't very big. I think your parents will be okay with teh age difference. Has your sister met your girlfriend? If she has, when you're telling your parents, have her support you and also... (read in full...)
Dating 3 months and we haven't hugged or kissed! What can I do?
Q. I've been going out with this boy for 3 months now and we haven't hugged or kissed. He always tell me how much I mean to him and how much he loves me but he seems really shy. I think i've waited long enough for him to make a move! Please help me...
A. 20 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
You both are pretty young and he could just be painfully nervous. Maybe you should do him a favor and YOU make the first move? You could open your arms for a hug, or you could say something like, "will you kiss me?". Maybe he just ... (read in full...)
How many time should I be having sex with my wife?
Q. How many time should I be having sex with my wife?...
A. 19 May 2007: There is no set or average "amount" couples have sex. Some do it twice a day, some do it twice a month. Both are normal, as long as both partners are happy with it!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
This is really embarassing but i'm 16 years old and everywhere i sit i leave a wet patch even if i've only sat there like 30 seconds!
Q. This is really embarassing but i'm 16 years old and everywhere i sit i leave a wet patch even if i've only sat there like 30 seconds!! is there anything i can do to prevent this?...
A. 19 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Sorry to probe this question further, but are you sweaty or do you have a lot of vaginal discharge? If it's discharge, you could maybe wear a sanitary pad to absord the wetness.
Either way, you should get this checked out by a... (read in full...)
Worried I'm going to lose my erection when it comes to the crunch!
Q. ok. im really scared to lose my virginity. im 16 and have done other things with quite a few girls. in fact ive been naked and doing things with them on many occasions. however im scared of having sex. for some reason i think i will lose my erection ...
A. 19 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Every guy get's nervous about his first time. I'm not a man, but I know that some guys have let their nerves get the best of them and they can't hold their erection the first time. It's okay!! We women understand.
I do think th... (read in full...)
When I try to give her a little peck, she squirms and says that my lips are too "wet".. ! Yet she lets our dogs lick her face!?
Q. Dealing with intimacy and self-image.... I am 32 and my girlfriend of two years is 26. Our relationship is good in that we work very well together as a team, running our household, get along well, have very similar senses of humor, tastes in...
A. 19 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
I really liked Adam's advice. I think that body insecurities can be thwarted by the significant other. The goal for you is to make her feel like even if she might not like her body, YOU will love it unconditionally.
Continue tell... (read in full...)
What kind of sex dreams do guys have?
Q. hi what kind of sexual dreams do our boyfriends have?...
A. 19 May 2007: What kind of sexual dreams? There is no set of sex dreams that happens. Dreams are abstract workings of the mind. Dreams can be bizarre and unexplainable. As for sex dreams, well... sometimes guys can dream about making out, having sex, being naked, ... (read in full...)
He has dreams about me but won't tell me what they are about...could they be sexual dreams?
Q. hey im 16 and so is my boyfriend who i have been with for 5 months. today we were talking about our dreams and i was asking him if he had any about me ever. He said he does but he doesn't really want to tell me what some of them are. Then he said ...
A. 19 May 2007: Dreams are dreams! He probably is talking about sexual dreams in your case, and as for what could be going on in his mind? Any kind of sexual things could be going on in these dreams! The possibilities are endless.
However, just because he dream... (read in full...)
I have slept with my husband's 18 yearold cousin. Should we stop or carry on?
Q. I am 24 years old and I started sleeping with my husbands 18 year old cousin, I dont love the cousin it kinda was something that just happened. It is fun and exciting havent felt like this in along time. What do we do keep on or stop? Kinda want to ...
A. 19 May 2007: Well, of course you should STOP. You're cheating on your husband, and with his cousin no less! It's fun and exciting because it's risqué, it's "bad". Try spicing up your sex life with your husband! Do something new in bed, try out some things you ... (read in full...)
My husband still talks to his ex-mistress! He says there is no harm in it...Am i being unreasonable here to think otherwise?
Q. My husband of 17 years has been having an affair since last summer, I found out in February and he hasn't seen her since. But they still phone each other up several times a week which I find really hurtful. I have asked him to stop ringing her and ...
A. 18 May 2007: No, you are in the right here. He needs to break things off with her COMPLETELY. I don't see how you can still be with him! It would be very hurtful to know that my husband slept with another woman and then continued to talk to her. He is continuing ... (read in full...)
I'm an unhappily married man who needs to know why this young woman I like, no longer contacts me? Any ideas?
Q. Hello All! This is a kinda complicated story (aren´t they all?!?). I met a rather attractive but considerably younger woman (I am 37 and she is 22) and we flirted for a while and then about 5 weeks ago, we got together. We haven't slept with ...
A. 18 May 2007: It sounds like she's moved on. If you have already put the ball in her court, it sounds like she has made her decision. I think she's making the right choice, however. If you are married, then you shouldn't be seeing anyone else. When you're single ... (read in full...)
Can getting fingered with pre-cum on my BFs hands make me pregnant? I'm scared I am!
Q. hi i have been dating my boyfirend for a year now and love him very much. We are both head over heels and are very close. We have decided not to have sex because we are underage but mostly because we are scared of the risk of getting pregnant. L...
A. 18 May 2007: What you need to do is get yourself a pregnancy test. All though the likeliness of you getting pregnant from pre-cum is rare, the possibility is still there. Go get one of those two or three pack pregnancy tests and find out! It will give you peace ... (read in full...)
Guys: is making noises during sex, especially when its our first time sleeping together, sexy?
Q. Stupid question really. Having sex with someone new is always abit weird when its your first time I think. I just wanted to know what people think. Do guys prefer it when we make sex noises or not? x...
A. 18 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
I think that all (or at least most) guys will agree with me, making noise is good. I don't think you need to be making crazy sex noises, but breathing deeply or moaning when it feels good is always good.
It lets your partner kno... (read in full...)
I've just realised my BF is only 16 years younger than my parents! How do I tell them?
Q. Hiya I'm 20 from Reading and the man I'm dating is 27 from London. It's never bothered me before until I realized something.... He's only 16 years younger than my parents! My Mum is 43 and my dad is 45. I'm afraid to tell them about my boy...
A. 18 May 2007: If it didn't bother you before, it shouldn't bother you now. If you feel like this guy is on the same level as you, that's all that should matter. 16 years is a pretty big gap.
You're both in your twenties, and your parents are both in their fo... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 17 May 2007: Ahhh, your accent is fabulous!!
Love seeing the master behind the website. Great video! Keep them coming, I like video introductions. I want one!!
Lovely, wonderful.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My BF doesn't wear deodorant and I'm afraid of what other people will think of him!
Q. Say you have this boyfriend. He doesn't smell extremely bad but a little because he doesn't wear deordorant. You are afraid of what other people will think of him or even of you dating him. Would you feel bad for thinking this? Would you tell him...
A. 17 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
What I would do is get some of that Axe (or whatever brand smells super snazzy. Axe is my favorite.) Deodorant and some of the matching body spray. I would then casually say, "I smelled this stuff and thought that it would smell de... (read in full...)
What songs are good for kissing to?
Q. I know this may sound like a bit of a stupid question but here goes: I'm curious as to what songs are good for kissing to. I've figured that "Truly, Madly, Deeply" is a good one along with "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and when you're 8 years o...
A. 17 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
You can never go wrong with some good ol' classic R&B or Jazz.
How about popping in some Al Green or Marvin Gaye? Those are fail-proof mood setters. You can NEVER go wrong with Al Green or Marvin Gaye.
If you're feeling a l... (read in full...)
Everyone say he's using me for school, but I can't get over him. Help!
Q. I am 17 years old I started college last october and met someone who had the charm to make me weak at my knees! we were chatting for 2 weeks every night and during cay in college we would do work together but every1 came to know about it and loads ...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
First off, STOP GIVING HIM YOUR WORK. If he really likes you, he could care less about the work. If he's truly using you, he'll be long gone once he realizes that he can't use you for schoolwork (you're better than that!) and he'l... (read in full...)
Am I close to having an actual orgasm??
Q. I think im close to having an orgasm .. ill explain.. when i masterbate the feeling becomes intense but its like i dont want it, it makes me like shake a bit but not in a bad way. Am I about to orgasm?...
A. 16 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
It definitely sounds like you're on the brink of having an orgasm. You'll know when you actually have one, you'll contract "down there". Sometimes it does feel like it's almost too much to bear!!
What you should do when it get s... (read in full...)
I don't feel badly that I cheated on her with a 14 year girl! Any advice?
Q. i an 18 and i have a 15 year old girlfriend. i cheated on her with a 14 year old. this isnt the first time this has happened. i dont really feel bad about it either. what should i do?...
A. 15 May 2007: You don't feel bad about it, you keep cheating on this girl, why are you keeping the 15 year old around? As a backup? This is DEFINITELY not fair to her, she really ought to be dating someone who can give his whole heart and full devotion to her. Do ... (read in full...)
I think I caught an STD from cheating and passed it on to my GF. What shall I do?
Q. im 21yrs old and have been in a relationship for over 3yrs. basically got drunk and cheated on my gf, cant remember it happening at all, dont even know what i did. i explained everything and she has been kind enough to take me back. recently i have ...
A. 13 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
If you think you have caught an STI and have given it to your girlfriend, right now your priority should be going to the doctors and getting checked. Do NOT leave this hanging. The most important thing right now is both of your HEA... (read in full...)
What types of things can you tell a guy to do while he is masturbating???
Q. What types of things can you tell a guy to do while he is masturbating. What would guys enjoy doing and girls enjoy seeing?...
A. 12 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
Just letting you know that I've got to disagree with "Anonymous" who says: "In all honesty, I can't see a way for girls to enjoy a guy masturbating.".
I love watching my boyfriend masturbate. I don't know when this discovery w... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he really is going to leave her for me...?
Q. I am involved with a married man who claims he is leaving his wife. He has told other people this as well (friends, family). We spend a good bit of time together (3-4 nights a week) and talk on the phone a lot. This was only supposed to be about ...
A. 12 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
What I suggest you do is leave him and tell him that until he leaves his wife, it is over.. That puts the ball is his court and if he sincerely loves you like he says he does, and just needs a little bit of incentive, he'll go throu... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Dad that his friend is touching me inappropriately?
Q. my dads friend always touches me in inapproiate places when my dad isnt around he told me not to tell anyone what should i do ? should i tell my dad ...
A. 12 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
Yes, absolutely tell your Father. I think that he's the best one to tell in this situation. Your Dad's friend is CLEARLY not a good friend to you and might be touching other girls! Help the other girls who might be in danger a... (read in full...)
I know this is a silly question... but should I break up with him?
Q. should i break up with him ? first,i don't trust him like i used to.secound,i don't feel that he actually understands me like he used. third, we fight alot. fourth, i don't feel that he listens to me .fifth, i don't feel that he cares about me !!!ya ...
A. 12 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
You know you should break up with him, so do it. I think you will regret it more if you DON'T end things. This relationship doesn't sound like it's going anywhere positive and I think you can find someone else you're much more hap... (read in full...)
We will be getting married in Aug. but we have a slight problem he continues to converse with his ex!!!
Q. What do you think i should do? We have been together for 3 1/2 yrs. We will be getting married in Aug. but we have a slight problem he continues to converse with his ex. Should we be getting married?...
A. 12 May 2007: He sweetness,
I would write out a long reply, but it's exactly the same as CD's and I don't think I can put it any more eloquently. If he wanted to marry her, he would. Being friends with an ex is alright, trust me. I'm friends with just about al... (read in full...)
Is it okay to have sex with my guy friend and will he still look at me the same?
Q. Is it okay to have sex with my guy friend and will he still look at me the same?...
A. 12 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
Sex changes friendships. It really does. Sometimes, VERY VERY rarely does it work, everything is peachy and you just have a little fun on the side, but most of the time, something happens. Being friends gets weird. He will see you ... (read in full...)
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