Like what
she writes?
... Add *asteofIndia to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
|
Im just naturally thin, and no matter what I do I cant gain weight! Is there anything I can do ?
Q. hey all. i am a 16yr old 5'4 girl who wears a UK size 6 or 4 (i have been thin all my life) and am finding it extremly hard to find clothes to fit me. i eat everything so i dont understand why i am so thin. when i was younger it wasn't such a big ...
A. 13 April 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
I was exactly like you. Skinny as a rail because my metabolism was so high. I could burn through pasta, bags of chips, anything and still not gain any weight! When I got older, however - artound 19-20, I started filling ... (read in full...)
How do I give my boyfriend a great blowjob?
Q. hey me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and i want 2 give him a blowjob but i have no idea how to do it and i dont know wot guys like wot do i do???...
A. 12 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
I actually gave a big long explanation to answer someone else recently. I'm just going to copy and paste it, because I think it applies here too.
Oral sex... one of the few times where much messier is usually much better. The... (read in full...)
Why was everyone staring at me? I feel so self conscious now!
Q. this is a thing about being self concious. recently i bought this gorgeous black and white dress from BAY.i thot - it doesnt look too flashy, its fairly simple, the length goes down to my knees and no boobs are showing and its quite fashiona...
A. 12 April 2007: What could've made those people react that way?
You looked fabulous, clearly. Maybe it's not a skanky dress, it's not too revealing, but it doesn't mean it doesn't look absolutely beautiful on you! I'm jealous, I wish I found a magic dress th... (read in full...)
I am a small B-cup so what I want to know is do some guys prefer small breasts?
Q. Dear cupid, sorry i know this is a boring question. now i dont compare myself to my friends or anyone else for that matter as i would rather be just me. It seems though, that when we're out almost all the guys go for them as almost all of them are ...
A. 12 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
I work with naked women. I see more naked women in an afternoon then most see in their entire lives! You'd be surprised how many go for a women with small breasts over a woman with big ones. Yes, it's true, lots of men are fascinat... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and the whole thought of sex feels me with dread!!
Q. Ok I hear about people my age having sex all the time. I am 15 and right now sex isn't even an option for me. Like the thought of someone inside of me kinda grosses me out. I am 15 and wondering if I am ever going to over come my fear of having sex. ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hey doll,
I was EXACTLY like you. I really was. Until I met my current boyofriend, I had absolutely NO interest in sex. It was never on my mind, it kind of grossed me out. My friends were all out having sex and they would always bug me about th... (read in full...)
Her parents said that she cant date till she turns 16 but should I still ask her to a concert?
Q. i met this amazing girl. her parents said that she cant date till she turns 16. i was thinking about taking her to her favorite bands' concert with my youth group. what do you guys think i should do? ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
This concert doesn't have to be called a "date". You can use it to get to know her some more, and hang out like friends. I think since you're going with a youth group, her parents might be okay with it. You sound so sweet! Go for i... (read in full...)
Is she frigid? Should I dump her?
Q. I've been going out with this girl for about a month now, and all we've done so far is hugging. She talks about kissing and snogging over MSN, but when I'm in front of her she always finds an excuse not to. I don't want to grab her and snog her in ...
A. 11 April 2007: Frigid isn't a nice thing to call your girlfriend, now! But, we'll let that go. I know what you mean, sweetness.
You DEFINITELY shouldn't dump her. If you really like her, you'll have the patience to wait until she's comfortable enough to kiss ... (read in full...)
The guy I fancy mailed me asking if I want to go for drink! My friends say not to reply straight away as I will look too keen!
Q. I really fancy someone at my old job that i left last week. He is 30 and i am 20, and we used to flirt like mad. We built up such a close relationship, but he never asked me out. On my last day he asked for my email address and we exchanged them, ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hey, you like him and he likes you.. you're both adults. You'll seem desperate if you send flowers to his office and start calling him around the clock. Don't keep the guy waiting! Write him back or give him a call and say, "hey there... I'd love to ... (read in full...)
Are there any ways of making anal sex for a girl less painful?
Q. Does it feel better when a guy's giving a girl anal sex or having sex the regular way? Also..are there any ways of making anal sex for a girl less painful? I recently discovered that when my bf fingers me there it feels really good, but i'm re...
A. 10 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
It will hurt if you don't take it suupppeerrr slow. If you take it slow, it hurts about the same as losing your virginity the regular way does. Use lots of lube and lots of patience. What I find is easiest is getting a small di... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore. What can I do?
Q. I have been friends with this girl for nearly a year now and up untill recently we have been very close friends and I think a lot of her. I do not have any sexual feelings for her and I relly value her friend ship. But I had a big argument Sunday ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
Give her a few days to cool down and then go over to her house with flowers or her favorite kind of cookies and tell her that you're really sorry. I'd also apologize to her FRIEND who you fought with. Even if you were right and she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had 100's of one night stands. Can he really have changed and know what 'making love' is?
Q. My boyfriend has had 100's of one night stands. Can he really have changed and know what 'making love' is? ...
A. 10 April 2007: Could he potentially change? Yes, absolutely he could.
Has he changed?
That's the question. I don't know the guy! Trust your gut instinct.... (read in full...)
Yesterday I left my bf of 3 years, but not sure I did the right thing, he puts drink and his friends before me but I already miss him!
Q. yesterday i left my boyfriend of nearly 3 years and moved in with my mum with my one year old daughter.my question is did i do the right thing. i have many reasons to leave him, he is controling, i do everything for him and it just isnt enough and ...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Don't go back to him. He laughed when you left because he knew you'd be back? Well don't give him the benefit of being right. YOU have the last laugh, because soon you'll be on your feet and doing better then you ever were with him... (read in full...)
He tells me he loves me, we do things together, sexual and otherwise, but were are not a couple! Is he just using me ?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about 2 and a half years. He recently broke up with me, saying he wanted time to himself, we were to young, etc etc. Although it has been about 3-4 months since this happened and yet he still tells me he loves me, he ...
A. 9 April 2007: Having his cake and eating it too.
Don't let him have the benefit of sleeping with you if he's not considerate enough to be committed to you. Aren't you worth the committment? Yes, I think you are. He gets to have sex AND be single and that's j... (read in full...)
We have decided to put things on hold and be friends until we have sorted our priorities and so on, and then pick up where we left off, trouble is when we see each other how should we act ?
Q. I've been with my guy for nine months. I love him, he loves me... But in the last few months we've had our own stresses; he's been really busy with school and I have been reestablishing my life from deciding to move closer. (I live an hour awa...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Unless you two are seeing other people while on this "break", I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to sleep with each other. What it SOUNDS like to me is that you two love each other and are just cooled down for a li... (read in full...)
We've been dating 2 months and I wasnt invited to his family easter dinner! Was it because he thinks its too soon, do I have a right to be included ?
Q. I wasn't invited to my b/f Easter dinner tonight with daughters and other faily members. We have been together for 2 months, I met his younger daughter who lives with him and he invited his older daughter who lives with his ex wife to come for dinn...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Your relationship is so new and fresh! Two months isn't very long...
Maybe your boyfriend just wanted some quality family time where everyone could be together and celebrate Easter as a family. I don't think he meant to offend ... (read in full...)
What is generally more important: A successful, ideal career or a successful, life-long partnership?
Q. What is generally more important: a successful, ideal career or a successful, life-long partnership? Please, if you've any examples they'd be most appreciated...oh, and this is assuming it's either one or the other, and that they're not manageable ...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
I think everybody has different goals. Take my buddies and I for example. Some of my friends are very focused on school and their careers. That's what their ambitions lie in, that's what they work hard at and strive to be the best... (read in full...)
Im dating a male, but in the back of my mind im paranoid I could be lesbian!
Q. Help- Im confused! Im a female dating a male, who I can not stop thinking about. However, i work in the sports industry and am getting paranoid I could turn lesbian. When i shut my eyes I think of males but this who lesbian thing is bugging me. I ...
A. 9 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Are you paranoid you're going to "turn into" a lesbian because you work in the sports industry? Doll, I've never heard of a woman who has liked guys all their life get a job and "turn" into a lesbian. Most women who are lesbian'... (read in full...)
When I watch a couple making out of something sexual I get turned on. Why?
Q. why does this situation happen? i'm always curious. whenever i watch a couple making out or having sex, or lesbians doing the same thing, my vagina reacts with a feeling and i could feel it reacting. it does not hurt. why does this happen?...
A. 8 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
That's you getting turned on. That's you starting to get horny. Gilly39 was right on, you need to get a vibrator! I love mine... it's the ultimate boyfriend. Doesn't talk back, never leaves me, gives me great orgasms, goes for as l... (read in full...)
How can I found out if these other boy's like me?
Q. dear cupid im 9 years old and i just wanted to ask you somthing, i like a boy namde ryan, i like 2 others boys but I dont know if either of them like me. if they dont tho how do i find out why they dont like me and how can i chage it? Love mayishia...
A. 8 April 2007: Hey sweetness!
Now is a good time for you to learn something. You're nine years old - almost in double digits! Soon, you'll be learning about being a woman and you'll have boys liking you all the time! However, sweetness, you should NEVER change y... (read in full...)
What places do you guys recommend for two 16 year olds to go to know each other?
Q. i really like this girl i met online. she lives in a same town as me so it's not hard to meet as we live close, but i've never met her. i told her she was beautiful in the picture she replied with your so sweet, thanks, etc and since than she was ...
A. 8 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Since you two met online, I'd suggest meeting somewhere really public the first time. It will ease any anxiety she (and her parentss!) may have about her meeting a guy online. Maybe suggest dinner together? Miniature golf? The movi... (read in full...)
How can he just block me out like this?
Q. My first love of 10 months.. finished with me a few months ago because of 'arguments'.. he seemed totally in love with me and I certainly was with him. He broke up with me and told me never to contact him again.. he said it was because of arguing....
A. 8 April 2007: Is sending your ex-boyfriend who isn't interested in contact with you a kinky picture of yourself a bad idea? Well, yeah.
I can understand why you'd want to do such a thing. You miss him, you love him and you want to rile his feathers. I've bee... (read in full...)
What can I do to make oral sex better for him?
Q. hi everybody i really need some advice. i seem to be bad at giving my bf oral sex and i feel really awful. he is the first guy i've been with sexually and we are still waiting until marriage for intercourse so I'd like to be able to pleasure him. ...
A. 8 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
Firstly, You should NEVER, EVER do something that you hate. Never let your boyfriend pressure you into do anything you don't want to do. If he's not pressuring you, don't feel obligated to do this for him. Sexual stuff should b... (read in full...)
I'm dating my cousin's best friend. Is it wrong?
Q. i met my cousin's best mate at my cousin's wedding, he asked me out for a coffee after that and we have been dating since then. my cousin came back from his honeymoon last week. should we tell him specifically? its not WRONG is it?...
A. 7 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
Yes, you should tell your cousin and no, it's not wrong. I think your cousin will probably be very happy for you. Just make sure you tell your cousin that you won't put him in any awkward positions, he won't have to "take sides" o... (read in full...)
Is this just a coincidence or is she lying to me?
Q. My girlfriend is on birth control. She says that she started at age fourteen because of abnormally bad periods, not to have sex. She started dating her first boyfriend then, which lasted 6 months. Is it a coincidence? Or is she lying to me?...
A. 7 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
The pill can and sometimes is used by girls to regulate their periods. I know a few girls who went on it when they were younger (around 14) to help out...
However, even if she was having sex with her boyfriend, should it really... (read in full...)
What can I do to make sex and putting on a condom more natural ?
Q. He is one of the sweetest guys I have ever been with and, although our sex life is realtively good, he gets immediately turned off after reaching for the condom. He is much less experienced in bed than I am and he gets quite nervous about the ...
A. 7 April 2007: Hi sweetness,
Why don't you reach for the condom for him? This happens to lots of guys... the condom process is kind of awkward and it just kills the mood. What I find is best is YOU putting on the condom for him. Give him some manual/o... (read in full...)
She just suddenly left me for someone else after 7 yrs, what should I do with all her stuff ?
Q. My girlfriend of 7yrs has walked out,offering no explanation and is seeing somebody she works with. I have tried to contact her,without stalking or phoning her all the time but she will not respond. I have to accept that the relationship has...
A. 7 April 2007: Hi there,
Why don't you drop off big box of her stuff at her work? You could leave it with someone to give to her so that you don't actually have to see her.
Or, you could leave a message on her phone, "if you don't get your crap out of my h... (read in full...)
I'm curious about men in porn. Am I gay!?!
Q. I've never been one to watch porn, but I must admit that it does make me interested and a bit a annoyed when they don't show the full front of the guy on tv. I've always been having issues with my sexuality, but even with porn I'm more attracted t...
A. 7 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
Is it a sign that you're gay? I don't really think it's a solid sign. Lot's of straight girls like watching lesbian porn or naked girls, and I'm sure it works both ways. I'm sure lots of guys get curous and kind of turned on by me... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong about being a virgin at 17 ? How can I reduce the tension ?
Q. Dear cupid... im a 16 ( almost 17 ) year old female and i was wondering if there is something wrong with me.. ive been with my boyfriend who is 20 for almost a month and we've started talking about sex witch doesnt bother me except that im ...
A. 6 April 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
There's totally NOTHING wrong with being a virgin at 17. I was a virgin until I was 19 and boy was I glad I had waited. When I finally found my boyfriend (who I lost my virginity to a year and a half ago), I just knew tha... (read in full...)
My bf matches his undershirt to his underwear, but don't people only do this when they know they're going to sleep with someone!?
Q. Is this weird? My b/f matches his undershirt to his underwear(like grey, black, blue)...He has been doing this since i can remember and does it most times i see him..but isnt this something you do when you are going to sleep with someone? Someti...
A. 6 April 2007: I am leaning towards yes. Yes, you are being paranoid. Some guys just like to coordinate. Is he otherwise a little fashion concious? Or maybe it's just a quirk of his... he likes to match his underwear to his undershirt. My boyfriend matches his as ... (read in full...)
How long do most people wait before sleeping with their new partner?
Q. how long do most people wait before sleeping with their new partner? ive started seeing a friend of mine and was wondering how long most people wait before they first sleep together? i know it should be "when the time feels right", but im just ...
A. 5 April 2007: You're right in saying that the right time is usually when "the time feels right". Every couple is a little different. Personally, with my boyfriend I waited two and a half months. The wait was good, it let me know that he wasn't just after the ... (read in full...)
Im been waiting and wanting to get a gf, now that I have I wish I was more experienced!!!
Q. ok this may sound a little bit weird,I am 20 years old and have jus got my first girlfriend. This girl was quite a good friend of mine before we got together, n then she told me she liked me I felt the same and we got together. Before we got ...
A. 5 April 2007: You have been obsessing about this girls past forever now. For at least as long as you've been with her! I assure you, you are going to ruin this relationship if you continue to think this way. There is NOTHING more I can say, other than you just ... (read in full...)
Some info on lubricants please!
Q. This is my first time, and im a little nervous. Could I apply sexual lubricant on my vagina without washing it out? Does it hurt when the lubricant is applied? Will it be too oily?...
A. 5 April 2007: Hi there, sweetness!
Lubricant is meant to be used on the vagina and if you don't wash it out, it won't kill you. It might be al ittle sticky in the morning, but that's the worst that will happen. It certainly won't hurt when you apply it... it... (read in full...)
Do you think theres a way to get the just married good sex back again!?
Q. Me and my wife have always had a good relationship and have excellent sex, we are very close and share the best life together. How ever we were talking in bed last night and she suddenly asked me if i could remember how excellent the sex was on our ...
A. 5 April 2007: CD, as always is right on.
Losing your virginity... you only do that once and it's super exciting and a great memory. Getting married and the wedding night, also a one time, adrenaline pumped, wonderful, exciting experience. You were probably... (read in full...)
I love guys being infatuated with my boobs but he's not! Is something wrong with him or what?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a while and we are in LOVE for sure...he has fingerd me a couple of times and only messes with me down stairs...i love guys being infatuated with my boobs. but hes not? is sometimg wrong with him or ...
A. 5 April 2007: Maybe he's just not a boob man. No big deal. You seem a little young and this seems like an awful lot for a 13-15 year old to be doing, but alright. I hope you're very comfortable with this guy and you're not doing this sort of stuff with just ... (read in full...)
My erection is fine until I put on a condom then it goes limp...
Q. I have not had a lot of sexual experience. I do well when the woman is "manually" getting me ready but go limp when I am about to put on the condom. Any suggestions? I also have two other questions but will post in a seperate email. Thanks ...
A. 5 April 2007: Hey sweetness,
Here's another idea, why don't you let her put it on for you? With a little practice, she'll get pretty good at it and you won't even notice. Just lie on your back and close your eyes as she gives you some manual/oral stimulat... (read in full...)
What does it mean to have 'butterflies in the stomach"?
Q. What does it mean when you have butterflies in your stomach whenever you see a certain person or hear their name?...
A. 5 April 2007: Getting butterflies in your stomach is when you see someone and suddenly you get a RUSH of nervousness and your stomach feels like it's turning inside out (not in a painful way so much as a... dizzying way).
Oh wait. You don't want a DEFINITI... (read in full...)
Its my first house party next week, but Im worried as I dont know what to wear or how to dance!!
Q. hi im 16 and never been 2 a house party or night club or anything. but im going 2 my mates house party next week and im nervous cos: what do i wear? how do i dance cos i have never danced before!?!...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
Wear a pair of jeans, a cute top and some super funky earrings. House parties (and night clubs) require big, funky earrings - at least to me they do. If you odn't have your ears pierced - accessories! Bracelets (bangles are my favor... (read in full...)
If I don't have sex with her she says she'll break up with me, the problem is her age, she's only 14.
Q. I'm in love with a younger girl. I don't have a problem with the age gap because age is just a number to me, but I turn 19 this November, and she just turned 14. The thing is that I love her so much, but she wants to have sex. I object to this ...
A. 27 March 2007: You're absolutely right. If she genuinely loved you, the sex wouldn't matter. Smart observation! That tells me that you have a good head on your shoulders.
If you don't feel the timing is right, it isn't. Also, I think she should wait until sh... (read in full...)
She's dating another guy and I'm so upset! Should I tell her how I feel?
Q. Hello everyone For this post please could you refer to http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-havent-misunderstood-her-she-definitely-used-to.html as this post continues from that previous one. Bascially I sent her the note a week ago and I still...
A. 26 March 2007: Hi there, again.
Do I think you should tell her how you feel? No. Why? Because she already knows. You're doing the right thing, playing it cool and not letting the drama get to you. As for the new boyfriend, maybe he is just for show but do the h... (read in full...)
Why is it hard to accept niceness??
Q. Why is it hard to accept or digest for me when someone is kind or nice to me? If it so happens, i become so much desperate to get more that i try to possess the person who was being kind and end up spoiling my relation with them. Any advice? ...
A. 26 March 2007: Hi there,
My Mother always taught me that when someone is kind or nice to you, show your appreciation with a "thank you". I also had problems accepting kindess, but this really simple little thing did the trick for me.
Your problem is you'r... (read in full...)
Help, my mom is overprotective and won't let me date! What can I do?
Q. Help! My mum is being way to protective of me. I am 17, turning 18 next month and she doesn't want me to have a bf. I have been going out with this guy who I met through my classes at university for just over a month now and she doesn't approve, not ...
A. 26 March 2007: Hi sweetness,
Well you say that you turn eighteen in a month, which makes you legally an adult. I would let this go until then... give her the last month she technically has over you. You don't need to break up with your boyfriend, just tell him... (read in full...)
| *asteofIndia's friends
These are mutual friends, so *asteofIndia has
added them and they have added *asteofIndia!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
