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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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What do women 'really' think about blowjobs and swallowing semen?
Q. I'm wandering what women think of performing oral sex on men? Do women actually spend time thinking about or desiring to do it or is it merely something they do for the pleasure of their man? I know it varies from person to person but I kno...
A. 9 June 2007: I know you don't want to hear that it varies from person to person, but there's no other way arounder it - it does. Every woman, just like every man is different in their tastes. (Hard to believe, but some guys hate going down on women. Hate it! ... (read in full...)
My bf cant make the trip with me, and hes cross at me for going alone, should I feel guilty ?
Q. Hi everyone. I have been with my bf for four years. This summer I had been thinking about going to the east coast to visit my sister. My bf said he didnt want me going by myself and that he would come with me. He didnt invite himself - he was ...
A. 8 June 2007: Hi there, sweetness.
Girl, your man is all kinds of jealous or SOMETHING. Well, the best I can say for him is - he needs to suck it up and deal. You want to go see your SISTER. That's important. My sister lives out on the east coast too, and you ... (read in full...)
I am due to go through a major event in my life and it's worrying me sick...
Q. I am due to go through a major event in my life, though most of you would think it is nothing if I said. I have been worrying about this event that I have blown everything out of proportion and gained a deep anxiety from it which has affected my ...
A. 8 June 2007: Hi there,
Ahhh, the airport. As for that part of your holiday, don't worry about it. The employees at the airport are used to having people there who don't know what they're doing. Take it from me. Every time I step near an airport I get nervous ... (read in full...)
Are tattoos a turn-on or a turn-off for women?
Q. are tattoos a turnoff for most women? i have one tattoo at the moment, girls don't seem to mind that, but im looking at getting another one on my back, legs and my forearm.... do you think this would be enough to make some girls lose interest...
A. 6 June 2007: Some people love them, some people don't. I can think of many of my friends who see a guy with tattoos and want to throw themselves at him... but I can think of some who prefer their men's bodies pure of art.
As for me? I can go either way. My ... (read in full...)
Worried About My Height
Q. Hi, I've recently been feeling very concious about my height. I've always been one of the tallest, but now I'm worried, I'm going to be small. My immediate family are all average height(father 5'8'' and mother 5'6''), but my grandfather, both...
A. 6 June 2007: 5'7''!! Well, you outgrew me!! You're an inch taller than me. You're only fourteen and you very well might put on those extra two inches that you crave. You won't stop growing for at least another 4-6 years, so don't worry.
But even if you stay... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex and he 'came' inside me! Will I get pregnant?
Q. Ok I am 14 years old and i had unprotected sex with a guy that i been with for 9 months, he told me he came in me, i dont know if i might be pregnent but this happened like a week ago, will i be pregnent???...
A. 6 June 2007: You can absolutely get pregnant. When you have sex make sure you're being responsible about it and you're educated about it. At this point in the game, I really don't feel that you're quite ready.
Birth control is SUCH an important thing when you... (read in full...)
I'm feeling homesick and unsettled in this new country - I have lousy jobs and am not enjoying myself! If I go home, I feel people will see me as a failure - Help!
Q. Hey, Every1. I left for Austria Saturday and I'm missing home or feeling very unsettled at the moment. Wish I didnt have the job that I'm doing here which is waitressing and housekeeping but now I dont know what to do because I want to stay in ...
A. 5 June 2007: Hi there,
Well, sweetness, you've only been in Austria for a little bit. I've made huge moves too and know how homesick you can get. I know how lonely you can feel and I know how you can long for home. What I suggest, however is that you stick it... (read in full...)
I'm 14..is that too young to masturbate?
Q. is 14 too young to masturbate at i was just wonderin ??...
A. 5 June 2007: Fourteen isn't too young to masturbate. In fact, I think that's the perfect time to start. Getting to know yourself sexually is all a part of growing up, not to mention - it's the safest sex in the universe.
You're okay, sweetness. Enjoy!
... (read in full...)
My mum had a smear test today and she said the pain was unbearable. Now I'm terrified to ever have one!
Q. Hi, this is for the girls to answer only! My mother has had her smear today - before today she had always said how 'unpainful' it was, there was just a little bit of discomfort and that is all. However, she came back from doctors today and said the...
A. 4 June 2007: Hi there,
Pap Smears are uncomfortable, sure, but they're absolutely bearable. To make the experience a lot better, find a doctor that you like and make sure that he or she talks you through every step of the way. I find it's a lot easier for me i... (read in full...)
Could you please tell me if my boyfriend hits me once would he do it again?
Q. Could you please tell me if my boyfriend hits me once would he do it again?...
A. 4 June 2007: Hi sweetness,
If your boyfriend hits you once, there is a very, very, very, VERY strong chance that he'll do it again. You should absolutely get out of the relationship before his power gets too strong.
You deserve much better than a boyfriend... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and have stretchmarks on my hips...why are they there?
Q. Hi im 14 and normal weight for my height but i have like stretch marks on my hips (love handles). What is this? can someone help me please it doesnt cause me pain or anything like that there just like marks...
A. 3 June 2007: Hi there,
Stretch Marks are total normal for anyone. They come from growing, which you're going to be doing a lot of at fourteen. As Maid Marian said, you can't lose stretch marks by losing weight!!
Pick up some Cocoa Butter next time you're... (read in full...)
My wife is terrified about giving birth and I don't know what to do about it.
Q. Hi me and my wife are due to have a baby girl. Shes 7 months pregnant and has been ok so far but she's been talking about how painful it will be and how scared she is. She wants a natural birth no needdles to take the pain away or anything. She's ...
A. 2 June 2007: Perhaps you could find a group of women who are also expecting and planning on a natural birth? Sometimes when you have these anxieties, it makes it a lot easier when you can talk to people who have the same fears. Maybe your wife could talk to ... (read in full...)
I turned 15 in March and have a baby girl. I've now found out I'm pregnant AGAIN!
Q. dear cupids. well im chelsea, and i know ya gunna think im a slag whilst reading this but i am just after advice not a lecture. i was 15 in march and my boyfriend is 17 in july we have been together for nearli two years and we have a georgous...
A. 2 June 2007: I very much agree with DrPsych. Two is an awful lot of kids at fifteen. If you decide to terminate, that is a totally okay choice, but you should do it sooner than later. I wouldn't keep your boyfriend in the dark about this, but that is ultimately ... (read in full...)
Someone has posted a picture of my boyfriend in his boxer shorts to a dating website and are continuing to do so, it's stressing us both out.
Q. I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been together since we were 18. Today I heard that he'd posted a photograph of himself in his briefs/boxer shorts on a dating website from a friend in work. I've seen the profile on the site - but my boy...
A. 1 June 2007: The biggest question I have is: where in the world are these people getting the pictures? Are they pictures your boyfriend had already taken of himself? That's my biggest question.
I'd say that your boyfriend needs to be a little more aggressi... (read in full...)
Brewers droop or something else?
Q. My Boyfriend and i were about to have sex the other night when he 'lost it' he blamed the one glass of wine we had an hour earlier with our meal, could the wine be a valid reason? Just because this happened a few weeks back also but we have been tog...
A. 1 June 2007: Hey sweetness,
One glass of wine usually won't kill an erection, however it's pretty common for guys to "lose it" once in awhile. If over the last four years this has only happened a few times... well, there's nothing wrong with him, that's f... (read in full...)
A question for the agony uncles... Can breasts be tooooo big???
Q. Hey... This is a question for the guys i suppose. I was wondering if breasts can be tooo big? I have huge breasts but have heard that more than a handful is too much and theres much more than a handful. Im small in proportion to them. Hmm its been ...
A. 31 May 2007: I know I'm not a guy, but hey.
I work with naked women. Let me tell you, men love breasts of all shapes and sizes. Small ones, big ones, most guys aren't picky. They just love BREASTS, period.
Honestly, I couldn't say men like one better than ... (read in full...)
Every time he puts on a condom he goes limp. How can we fix this?
Q. I have been with my bf fot 14 months. We started having sex back last august. We have only had sex like 15 times since as i still get a bit anxious and after a while feel pain when having sex. He finds that when we have finished foreplay and are...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Everyone else gave you great advice. I just wanted to throw in this idea: what about if you put on the condom for him? In cases like yours, I think it's best if you have him lie down, you give him some oral or manual stimulat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to get a nude/topless photo of myself done professionally so that he can put it up in his house.
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice. My boyfriend wants me to get a nude/topless photo of myself done professionally so that he can put it up in his house. I'm not sure because I don't know why he came up with the idea. He said he would do one for me in ...
A. 31 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
I've taken more of my share of nude shots. I love fine art nude photography, and you can get tons of people to do these shoots for free. Mostly college students or professional photographers building their portfolio. If you end up d... (read in full...)
My bf gets so angry, he even curses God when he plays video games! Does he have some kind of problem?
Q. My boyfriend who is addicted to a computer game turns into a totally different guy when he is playing. He starts cursing, really bad. up to the point where he is using the MF word and he also says words that put down God. I find it really ...
A. 31 May 2007: Well, sweetness...
Not gonna lie to you, guys can get SO into video games. I definitely know more than my share of guys who get so involved in these things! They start swearing at the screen and all hell breaks loose!
And, to be honest, all t... (read in full...)
Is it healthy to be that sexually active?
Q. My boyfriend and i just started having sex 4 days ago. We were both virgins. Now we have sex 2 times a day. Is that heathy? We're madly in love and we cant seem 2 find any other better way 2 express our love 2 one another. Hes 20 and im 21. He ...
A. 31 May 2007: Honey,
There's no rule saying how much people can have sex. If you were having sex TWELVE times a day it would be healthy. Hey! Sex is good exercise. Just make sure it's always safe, and you are healthy as can be.
So glad that you found someon... (read in full...)
Is college fun, is it too much work, or what?
Q. I want as many opinions as I can get so anyone who has something to say, even if it's just a little comment, please respond. I'm just wondering what people think of college. I will be graduating soon and I want to keep in contact with some of my ...
A. 31 May 2007: College is awesome.
Trust me here, sweetness. I was like you... sort of afraid to move into the present. I loved my high school buddies, so I took a couple years off. Well guess what? THEY ALL WENT TO COLLEGE! Then I was lonely, and they were mak... (read in full...)
I think I had an orgasm! My hands and teeth were tingling!! Am I right?
Q. i think i had an orgasm on saturday night but am not 100% sure. If it was then wow! nd if not then an orgasm must be even more wow! we were having sex for a good 45 mins to an hour. Alot of it is a blur to me. After i was really out of breath. ...
A. 31 May 2007: Maybe, maybe not. Sounds like it, maybe. But, doesn't really matter because you came out of it happy and feeling good!! It can only getting better from here, sweetness!
Jealous of you, sweetness.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
I think I had an orgasm! My hands and teeth were tingling!! Am I right?
Q. i think i had an orgasm on saturday night but am not 100% sure. If it was then wow! nd if not then an orgasm must be even more wow! we were having sex for a good 45 mins to an hour. Alot of it is a blur to me. After i was really out of breath. ...
A. 31 May 2007: Maybe, maybe not. But, doesn't really matter because you came out of it happy and feeling good. It can only getting better from here, sweetness!
Jealous of you, sweetness.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable to give your number out to an ex when your in a relationship? Do I have a right to be upset?
Q. I have been seeing my partner for about two years we currently live together. The other day I answered her mobile and I guy who i never heard of name appeared on the caller ID. The guy never wanted to leave a message but wanted to know who I was, i ...
A. 30 May 2007: Personally, as someone who always stays close with her ex's, I think it's okay. They reconnected at a funeral, they want to catch up and catch, that sounds okay to me.
I think you need to voice your concern to your girlfriend. I think she can make... (read in full...)
I heard he's going to ask me to marry him and I don't know what to say to him.
Q. Hey, I am going out with a guy and I have been for almost a year now. His friends have told me that he's going to ask me to marry him. At first when they told me I was really excited about it because we were both really into each other, but now when ...
A. 30 May 2007: I agree with DV1, it sounds like he's probably really nervous!! I'm to understand that he doesn't know that you know? Well, think about it from his side of things... he's thinking about asking you to MARRY him. That's a big step, that's a huge ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that sex is painful the first few times?
Q. My boyfriend and i just became sexually active 2 days ago. We were both virgins. In the last 2 days we have had sex 4 times. The first time it was pretty painful. And the last 3 times have been painful but not as much. The last time felt good b...
A. 29 May 2007: Hey sweetness,
You're very normal. Eventually your body will adjust. For me, it took about a week or two for it to start to feel good without any pain. I assure you that it will feel much better before too long!
As the others said, just remem... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm and different positions don't work...what can I do?
Q. I have been having sex for over a year but cant orgasm, i have tries different positions still dont work. please help...
A. 29 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
Have you tried adding vibrators to your sex life? I'm not kidding, they will do wonders!! Try the rabbit vibrator, or maybe one of the bullet ones... they will make sex better for you AND your boyfriend (the vibrations will feel gre... (read in full...)
I discovered that my mother masturbates, what should I do?
Q. i discovered that my mother masturbates herself , what should i do?...
A. 29 May 2007: Don't do anything. Sure, the situation is a little awkward for you - nobody likes to know about their parent's sex lives... but, your Mom has some sexual tension that she needs to release too! It's perfectly normal and natural for women to pleasure ... (read in full...)
Should the man have more rights than a woman in a relationship?
Q. is it fair when a guy gives him self more rights than a girl as to be more controlling or to give him self the privlige to do things that he would not allow his girlfriend to do?...
A. 28 May 2007: No, it's not fair. Never let yourself be controlled by someone else. Especially in a relationship, that shows little respect for you. You deserve much more and to be treated equally.
Repectfully yours,
xxIndia... (read in full...)
How can I make my girlfriend feel more confident about herself?
Q. me and my gf have been together for a year and 2months now. We have known each other all our lives and have always been close friends. We started having sex about 7 months now but when we do she will never take her bra off, sometimes she doesnt like ...
A. 28 May 2007: Well, here's an idea. I'm just brainstorming here, trying to figure out something that might help. Maybe what your girlfriend needs is baby steps. Maybe suggest that she blindfold you and then let you feel her completely naked. Then you can feel her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never gets any "strange" phone calls, should I be worried?
Q. my b/f doesnt get any strange phone calls. Usually if his phone rings, i can tell who he is talking to. And he doesnt keep any girls names in his phone either. Should i possibly believe he is forwarding some calls to another number? He rarel...
A. 28 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
It sounds to me like you are looking for something to be suspicious of. If he's not getting any weird phone calls, fabulous! I strongly doubt that your boyfriend is so clever as to forward specific phone calls to another phone th... (read in full...)
My wife and I want to try out some new ways which are exciting but extremely pleasureable sex wise, any ideas?
Q. me and my wife have been married for 7yrs this summer and been going out together since we were 16. We have always had a really good sex life and still at the age of 33 we still have sex between 3-5 times a week even though we have 2 kids. One is 17 ...
A. 28 May 2007: Oooh, fun!
Nothing is more fun than experimenting and finding out what works. I'll suggest to you a few things, but I do strongly encourage your OWN creativity in the bedroom. It doesn't need to work every time... but try inventing your own posi... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and have completely lost my appetite. When do you think it will come back? Is this normal?
Q. Hi, I was amazed at the wonderful answers I got with the last question I posted so i'd really apprecciate any answers this time around as well. I've recently found out i'm roughly 7 weeks pregnant, I haven't been to the doctors yet but i've got an ...
A. 28 May 2007: Hi there,
This is a question for your doctor. I think it'll be best to just give him or her a call and ask. I did look it up on the web and found a couple of questions like yours. It seems to be uncommon, but it happens. Seems to be in the firs... (read in full...)
I have never had sex but masturbate a lot, will this make me loose?
Q. im a young girl with a really high sex drive. i can get horny anywhere, and everywhere. suprisingly i haven't had sex!! this is because me and my boyfriend want to have a white wedding. i have been masterbating a lot (with one finger), will this ...
A. 28 May 2007: No, one finger won't make you loose. Don't you worry.
Masturbation is the safest sex you can have. I think it's a great way to relieve your needs and keep you happy.
You're just fine, sweetness!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My girlfriends are so bitchy to me because I have always liked football!
Q. Sorry for the length! I'm a girl and I love football and I've always been into it since I was little. Obviously this always made me popular with the guys and I've got loads of mates who are guys, who I really get on well with. I've had no problems ...
A. 28 May 2007: Oh, just ignore them. Onviously, they're jealous of the connection you have with these guys... one that they'll never have. Girls can be so petty and catty about these sort of things. Your situation actually kind of reminds me of this American show ... (read in full...)
I masturbate, thinking about... myself!
Q. Do you think it's weird to masterbate thinking about yourself? I can have an orgasm when I think about myself wearing sexy clothing - my boyfriend can't believe I'm not thinking about having sex when I masterbate - does anyone else think of other ...
A. 28 May 2007: Whatever you fantasize about is your business and nobody else can criticize it. Unless you're thinking about something totally creepy (i.e. killing people or eating puppies or something horrific), any fantasy is okay. You can fantasize about ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married?
Q. Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married? I'm not with anyone at the moment, and I know that I need to get a better job and a house, but the feeling has been overwhelming me lately, and I don't know if I'm wrong ...
A. 28 May 2007: Oh my God, I'm such an idiot. I swear, I can read... I just missed that vital part of information.
Sorry. But my advice is still the same. It's normal to want the marriage and babies - even if you are a guy. It's great that you're going back to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married?
Q. Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married? I'm not with anyone at the moment, and I know that I need to get a better job and a house, but the feeling has been overwhelming me lately, and I don't know if I'm wrong ...
A. 28 May 2007: He sweetness,
It's totally normal to start to have these urges. As long as you keep a responsible head on your shoulders, and make sure that you figure out your finances, career choices, etc., you should be alright. You are perfectly, PERFECTL... (read in full...)
This is a question for the girls only!
Q. GIRLS ONLY-NO GUYS READ THIS PLEZ!! OK is it normal for a girl my age to have a bushy/hairy pussy and bigger boobs then girls older then me. my bf told me that if his _____ gets bushy er whatever then hes somehow ganna sh...
A. 28 May 2007: Hi sweetness,
It's totally normal to be a little hairer and bustier than other girls older than you. Every woman grows at a different late. You are obviously an early bloomer, and your body has just decided that it wants to grow faster than oth... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend of one week has just asked me over to her house for "some fun"
Q. Hey, I've posted a couple of times now, you might recognize part of the story. Basically my gf dumped me last weekend, and in favor of some guy online. Shes meeting him this friday. But the friday thats just been, she started emailing me abou...
A. 28 May 2007: Oh sweetness...
You are being used. Right now, you're a classified "booty call". There is no need to tell her online guy - that will only cause drama, and he'll figure out that she's trouble on his own time. For the time being, you need to stop ... (read in full...)
What tips can you give me about making sex better for my boyfriend and I?
Q. Please help. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly six months and we have started to try and have sex. I can make him come by blow jobs but so far he has only given me handjobs. These used to be very intense for me but recently I just haven't got ...
A. 27 May 2007: Hi there, sweetness...
Well, you're not the only one who has had a difficult time losing her virginity. I know the feeling. For me, I just couldn't relax, it was painful, he just couldn't "get in" and it took us a month - yes, a MONTH, to finally ... (read in full...)
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