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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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How to get him over his wedding fear?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend and I have talked about getting married one day. I told him I wanted a big wedding and he said he couldn't do that because he will get real nervous and probably pass out. Any suggestions for I can make him over come this fear?...
A. 9 November 2007: Well, firstly it sounds like he's not exactly ready for walking down the aisle... but, just remind him that everyone at the wedding will be friends and family and they're just coming to celebrate with you. Tell them everyone will have smiles and ... (read in full...)
What does all this mean
Q. i like this guy but he makes it hard for me to tell whether he lives me back. when we were alone and he hugged me, he kissed me lightly on my shoulder and rubbed my back what does this mean?...
A. 9 November 2007: If he's giving you little kisses, hugs and shoulder rubs, I'd say that the he's giving you the hints LOUD AND CLEAR!! It sounds to me like he's interested... make your move, girlfriend!
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, Lately my boyfriend of 3 yrs has been acting up he always yells at me and tells me that I stress him. In the 3 yrs he managed to impregnate 2 girls but I forgave him and we moved on but I can't handle his abusiveness. Am I overreacting?...
A. 7 November 2007: Are you overreacting? No sister, you're UNDERreacting! Get this slimeball out of your life. I would have booted him after girl #2 fell pregnant, but two?
Ditch the loser, sweetness. You deserve MUCH better..
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My husband threatened my 11 year old with a knife!
Q. been married to a controling man for 10 yrs and have 3 kids lately he has grabbed me by the face a couple of times when he says i have done wrong and just last week he threatened my 11 year old while he had a knife in his hand. i have no life and ...
A. 7 November 2007: As Irish49 said, this marriage is done. Your husband is out of control and probably should be in JAIL, or at least an institution. He sounds like a real danger to those around him and therefore you should grab the kids and go as far away as you can. ... (read in full...)
Should I be hurt by this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half share a myspace page. He told me a couple amonths ago about one of his ex-girlfriends but I didn't worry about it much, but on myspace he wrote her saying Hi and what she has been up to. I am upset by the ...
A. 7 November 2007: You sound like you're overreacting a little bit. It sounds like he's only being friendly, but he doesn't sound like he's flirting with her or anything. Perhaps you could be angry if he was writing sort of suggestive notes, but these seem like only ... (read in full...)
I worry about the effectiveness of condoms!
Q. I am just curious how effective condoms are. My boyfriend and I have used them every time we've had sex - however i am still paranoid about an accident. I'd say we're both very cautious and safe about these things, but there's still a chance. so ...
A. 6 November 2007: If you worry, I think it will be best if you find a birth control that YOU can control. Go to Planned Parenthood (awesome place to go) and talk to them about different forms of birth control. More than often, they will hook you up with government ... (read in full...)
We've had sex and now he wants more, I don't want to go that fast!
Q. ive been dating this guy (his 26) for about a 4 weeks now, but we have only seen each other a few times, last time i went to his house and we slept with each other, it was my 1st time (im 21) and it was ok and it felt right at the time. he seems ...
A. 6 November 2007: Tell him that you're feeling a little rushed and that you want to take things a little slower. If he is really a nice guy and the right guy for you, he'll respect your wishes and not make you feel pressured to go any faster than you want to.
Don't... (read in full...)
I had a same sex dream, I loved it but its against my morals, is this wrong?
Q. I am 100% straight female, but last night I had a disturbing dream...I was about to go girl-on-girl in my room in my bed! And I was actually turned on by it which was the weird thing. My beliefs teach me that homosexuality is wrong and I would never ...
A. 5 November 2007: Hey sweetness,
There is nothing wrong with curiosity. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing... regardless of whether or not you would actually DO something, it still can be fun to imagine.
Dreams and fantasies are nothing to feel bad about. ... (read in full...)
I can't see watching tv and just blurting out "I'm Pregnant!"
Q. Hey everyone im 33 and have been with my husband since we were 16 n married for 7 years. We are very much in love owever i have a problem. I'm pregnant with his baby(obviously) and i don't know how to tell him. I've only told our 17 year old ...
A. 4 November 2007: Hey doll,
Sit down, eat dinner together and begin to relax. Get BOTH of you nice and eased up and then tell him that you'd like to tell him something. I suggest that both of you be by yourselves and have some TIME to talk to each other (i.e. do... (read in full...)
Who would you choose - money or no money?
Q. Ok,Simple question. If you re torn betweet two men for marrige, One of whom Is pretty rich(can have laisure and relaxed life with), and the Other not so much(indeed may have money problem later), You like them both in certain way, Who would you ...
A. 4 November 2007: Money is great, and a solid and secure future is always nice. It's wonderful to not have to struggle with money problems for the rest of your life.
HOWEVER. I think it really doesn't matter what the guy's financial situation is (unless your bro... (read in full...)
Is he homosexual or am I being paranoid?
Q. Hi i have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and i love him so much we do have a great time together, however until i met him at age 18 (he is 18 also) he had never taken part in any physical activity including masturbation as he had a very ...
A. 4 November 2007: Hi there,
First off, I doubt your boyfriend is gay. There is always the possibility, but I still doubt it. He may be curious, but seeing as he's had a very sheltered childhood, that's no surprise.
It sounds like he's simply not ready for sex. I... (read in full...)
We've had our first date... what happens next?
Q. hi guys. so i had the first date and that went ok i think. but what happens now? shud i ask him out on a second date and should the girl ever ask a guy out? im reallly confused. i want to be sure that he wants another date but i dont know how to ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hey there,
I think it would be just great if you initiated a second date. Remember, not all guys are up front about things - they can get nervous too! Just say something like, "I had so much fun with you last week (or whenever your date was). I'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be there for girls night out
Q. Any ideas on how I handle this one. I am having a 'girlie' night at my house on Friday with nine old friends and my boyfriend who loves cooking has offered to cook us all a curry, preparing it Thursday and then coming after work on the Friday to do ...
A. 31 October 2007: How sweet of your boyfriend,
I like having girls night's at my house too. Sometimes if my boyfriend is around, he's allowed to hang out for a little bit (since he does live in the house too, after all. Your girlfriends will understand), but then... (read in full...)
4 month anniversary is coming up, and I want to do something special... and cheap!
Q. Hi all.. okay would very much like your help, my boyfriend and i have been together 4 months this weekend, we always like to do something special to mark it (i know that may sound cheesey). Anyway he's taking me for a meal but wants me to do ...
A. 30 October 2007: This is what I did one anniversary to surprise my boyfriend (not sure if it'll work with yours, but it was still fun). I bought him a season of The Simpsons, a box of doughnuts and some Slurpee's from 7-11. It was a theme, and it was a blast. I ... (read in full...)
Bar verses Christianity
Q. Me I'm a Christian, my brother is not saved, I do respect him since he is like our earthly father. We usually spent time together and whenever he goes out to town to drink he makes sure I accompany him. At the bar he takes the beer as I take the ...
A. 30 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
It doesn't matter where you are, you can be a good Christian and go anywhere. Your location doesn't speak for your faith, your actions do. So if you feel like you don't want to drink because of your faith. keep ordering your sod... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl plays with her hair whilst she's chatting to you?
Q. Hey What does it mean when a girl plays with her hair whilst she's chatting to you?...
A. 30 October 2007: Could be flirting, could be nervousness, could be a bad habit. I know girls who habitually toy with their hair.
Don't take this TOO seriously unless it's paired with other tell-tale flirting (light touching, giggling, eye contact, a lot of chit ... (read in full...)
I feel totally rejected - couldn't we have discussed it?
Q. Was dating a guy and we got on famously, walks, meals, fun nights out together and we really clicked. We fancied each other quite a lot and then after a few weeks made arrangements to sleep together. Anyway I've always found that when I sleep wi...
A. 30 October 2007: What. A. Jerk.
You seem to still be feeling a little warm and fuzzy towards him? Why didn't you use more words like "evil bastard" and "no good player" in your question? This man is just a douche bag with a brain in his penis and no where else. Wh... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he wants me to go to his mother's funeral?
Q. my boyfriends mum has died recently i never got to meet her the funeral is tomorrow and i dont know if he wants me to go with him im to scared to ask him as since her death i have not really seen him i just dont know what to do ...
A. 30 October 2007: I think it would be great of you to offer. Say something along the lines of, "if you'd like the support, I'd be happy to go, but if you need some alone time and want to go to this by yourself that's okay too."
The important part is that you make... (read in full...)
Why is he accusing me of having chlamydia???
Q. my so called boyfriend has accused me of having chlamydia,which is so untrue,why would he say this unless he has got it and thats why he`s done research i havent got any symptoms to indicate this and ive recently had tests which dont show anything ...
A. 29 October 2007: Look, I think you need to stop crying. Go to the doctor, get a test. If it says you don't have chlamydia, then what else can your boyfriend say to you? You'll have it on paper. Both of you should go in and get tested together, because if anyth... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to stand my ground??
Q. Hey everyone, I'm the kind of guy that i don't care where my gf goes im in anohter country and i have been away from her for over a year. I'm back in 2 months but i don't think i can get passed this next obstacle. She wants to go to a Hallowee...
A. 26 October 2007: It's always good to have time to yourselves in a relationship. If you control what she does, where she goes and who with, she's only going to grow to resent you.
I have a solid relationship with my boyfriend, we trust each other and trust me... (read in full...)
I let him touch my boobs but I'm worried he'll want more. What should I do?
Q. I am seeing this guy i really like. There was this story going round that he fingerd my friend before we were seeing each other. Because of the fact I am 13 and he is 15 I am worried that he wants to have sex but I am not ready. He keeps on ...
A. 25 October 2007: Stop worrying about making him "happy". He should simply be happy being with YOU and enjoying your company. Having fun, maybe some kissing - that's all you should be worried about. A guy who truly loves you will WANT to wait until you're old enough ... (read in full...)
Which is more important to you? Penetration or orgasm?
Q. I am taking a poll. I would like to know what people think to gauge what is 'normal' This is mostly for the women, but men can chime in, too, if they have something pertinent to say. I am one of those women who just doesnt cum by intercou...
A. 25 October 2007: Hey darlin',
Well, I'm one of those girls that has a hard time reaching the big "o", so usually I'm happier to just skip all that added effort and just enjoy the sex! I don't need to have a grand finale, I am happy and satisfied with just the pene... (read in full...)
My brother would do stuff to me while I would sleep.
Q. So I'm 16 and a few years ago my brother would do....stuff to me at night when he thought I was sleep, and it kept going on because I didn't know what to do. He would make me give him handjobs and blowjobs and he would finger me and stuff. during ...
A. 24 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
You're not stupid, your not screwed up, you've just been seriously damaged by someone you trust. Your brother violated that trust and I'm so sorry for that. No wonder you're into it now, you don't know any better. You think this is ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my mum would kill me!
Q. I want a baby but im only 15. I'm not sure if my bf wants one but i think he does but i no if i get pergent my mum would kill me so what should i do???...
A. 24 October 2007: I'm going to come off a little harsh, but I'm only trying to be honest and get this through your head.
I hope you have at least $20,000 to cover the next year of your life. That's for all the doctors appointments for you WHILE you're pregnant... (read in full...)
Three is a crowd
Q. Since i have been little me and my 2 best friends have always been a group of 3, we were always inseparable and everything we did would be together. i guess 3 is a tricky number butwe always got over it and no one got left out, if they did it never...
A. 24 October 2007: Oooh, very awkward situation. I don't envy you.
What I wouldn't do is attend sleepovers with them. That seems SUPER weird. You'll feel very "third wheel", and you'll feel super left out.
I'd spend more time with them as individuals and ... (read in full...)
I think I am getting addicted to pills!
Q. Hey, im just an average girl. And a while back I accidently took 7 pills before a game because I was in a lot of physical pain. well, i will admit that i did something very carless. i kept doing it. and so far 7 pills turned into 10, and the ...
A. 24 October 2007: I'm glad your friend is helping you!! I really, sincerely hope that you get better and kick the pill habit. It's a nasty thing that can do a lot of damage to you.
I'm wishing, hoping and praying for you sweetness.
STAY STRONG!
xx India... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants my to give him a blowjob... In his sleep. Should I expect any unpleasant surprises?
Q. my boyfriend has asked me to give him a blowjob (no probs) ... before he wakes up, meaning in his sleep! (he has never had this before and would like to try, i don't know of anyone who has actually done this) I have no idea what to expect... a kick, ...
A. 23 October 2007: Hey darlin',
I do this for my boyfriend every so often. It's lots of fun - they wake up a pleasant surprise!
If your boyfriend isn't generally too mobile in his sleep you shouldn't have any problems. I doubt he'll start peeing... I REAL... (read in full...)
I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?
Q. Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...
A. 22 October 2007: Hi, sweetness
Well, I come from a background of interracial relationships. My Mom is white, my Dad is black, making me half & half... now I'm dating a white guy and let me tell you... if I ever heard something like that come out of my boyfrien... (read in full...)
Is rough sex bad for you?
Q. Is rough sex bad for you? Once i had a guy go a bit rough on me and i asked him to stop and he did. after like a 10 sec break i continued but was still in a lot of pain. i had no pain after sex just a little soreness but the pain was really b...
A. 22 October 2007: Hey sweetness,
Listen to your body. If it tells you "no" or "ow" - then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Rough sex isn't bad for you, it can be great, you just need to know when it's time to lighten up. Involve lots of foreplay and try... (read in full...)
I think I am getting addicted to pills!
Q. Hey, im just an average girl. And a while back I accidently took 7 pills before a game because I was in a lot of physical pain. well, i will admit that i did something very carless. i kept doing it. and so far 7 pills turned into 10, and the ...
A. 20 October 2007: Hi sweetness,
It's wonderful that you're recognizing your problem, and trying to help yourself. I think that you do have a problem with pills, and I want you to know that you're NOT alone. I know a lot of people who have lost themselves to pill ... (read in full...)
Is my penis a normal size for a 13 year old?
Q. err hi i was wondering if this is normal im 13 and my penis is 5.4 inches long i mean i think thats good but is it ok to be so big so young?...
A. 20 October 2007: It's perfectly okay. All boys grow at different rates. You're totally normal (not to mention, blessed at such a young age).
No worries!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?
Q. is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?...
A. 19 October 2007: It's okay for your boyfriend to be any size. What he looks like never matters, it's what inside that counts. Is he a good guy? Does he treat you well? Does he respect you? Do you get along? THAT'S what matters.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Is he cheating?
Q. Hey Guys... Im Worried My Boyfriend Is Cheeting On Me... We Have Been Going out about 2 Years... I Had Sex With Him About 3 Weeks Ago And Ever Since He Pays Hardly Any Attention To Me He Just Says He's Busy All The Time. I Have Seen Him Several Oc...
A. 19 October 2007: You need to stop having sex with twelve year old boys. They will only get distracted by someone else in the matter of seconds. The attention span of a fruit fly.
You are WAY to young to be taking on these kinds of things. Sex is a BIG DEAL, an... (read in full...)
21, if I can't have her, It doesn't seem like I can have anyone. How can I painlessly move on from my ex?
Q. Hi I've just turned 21, and basically, I HATE love. The only girl I've ever loved for over 2 years left me to go to university. My friends have told me to move on, but the thought of moving on really hurts. I wanted the only girl I've ever l...
A. 19 October 2007: Ahhh, first loves.
First off, you need to get a life. Now, I don't mean this in a mean way, I mean that you need to start involving yourself in things. Are you going to school right now? Do you do extracurricular activities? Sign up for an art c... (read in full...)
My sensei is hitting on me! What do I say to him? Help!
Q. I am female, I'm 28. I take martial arts classes. Over the past few months I've been at the dojo/school...I've noticed that my sensei/instructor has been hitting on me more and more as time progresses. He will do things like: - Put his arm arou...
A. 19 October 2007: Hi there,
Well you didn't say whether or not you liked him. If you're not interested or he's making you uncomfortable with the extra attention, you should think about switching martial arts schools. Find a new teacher, perhaps a woman.
If you ... (read in full...)
I've never had a boyfriend and urgently want one! I don't want to be alone forever! Any advice?
Q. i really need help. it may not seem like a big problem but i'm beggining to think there is something wrong with me. i have written before but only got one reply. i really want a boyfriend but i can't have one. whenever i fancy someone and (som...
A. 19 October 2007: It's normal to be sick with nerves. I know that sometimes people get so nervous about public speaking, they throw up. Same thing. You've never been kissed before, you're not used to being around guys... of course you'll be painfully nervous.
Maybe... (read in full...)
How do I save her when she doesn't want my help?
Q. my best friend since kindergarten just told me that she is a lesbian. we have been friends all our lives and i dont know what to do homosexuality is a big big sin and i know that she will go to hell for it. i told her this and she said that god lo...
A. 18 October 2007: I love God, and I personally agree with your friend. I really don't believe that my God is a hateful God, who would discrimnate against anyone - man, woman, black, white, purple, green, loud, quiet, beautiful, ugly, straight, gay. I believe that God ... (read in full...)
Do you think I can help myself? If so, how?
Q. I'm almost 20 and have nothing.Only half finished high school,no job,one friend only (too busy to go out with me),7 members of family I live with but none of them can understand my mood swings and even I don't.PLEASE,I need ur replies on 3 ...
A. 18 October 2007: You most definitely need to go to a counselor. You might be clinically depressed, you might just need someone to talk to. You clearly need a MAJOR boost, you really need to learn to love yourself. From the way you've written, I don't think that you ... (read in full...)
We had Anal sex, and now I can't seem to get rid of the smell!! What can I do?
Q. I'm having a problem and I don't know what to do. It's quite gross. At the weekend me and my boyfriend had anal sex, then afterwards we still had normal sex and he came inside me. I usually kind of wash myself 'up there' with the shower, and ...
A. 18 October 2007: Never EVER EVER EVER go from anal sex to vaginal sex. DON'T DO IT. It is god-awful for your system, can lead to SERIOUS infections and worse. If the smell doesn't go away, go to a doctor, alright?
Always make sure your man is completely clean be... (read in full...)
I've never had a boyfriend and urgently want one! I don't want to be alone forever! Any advice?
Q. i really need help. it may not seem like a big problem but i'm beggining to think there is something wrong with me. i have written before but only got one reply. i really want a boyfriend but i can't have one. whenever i fancy someone and (som...
A. 18 October 2007: My goodness you are desperate for a man! Why are you this desperate, is it because all of your friends have boyfriends, or everyone else at school is hooked up and you feel left out?
My best friend, she is gorrrgeeeoouusss (i'm jealous), she didn... (read in full...)
I'm worried the strippers may have been better looking than me.
Q. My girlfriend (of 4 yrs) went to a club where there were male strippers for ladies night. she asked me about 10 times before she went if it was okay, and because she was celebrating a special occasion with a girlfriend of hers that was moving away, ...
A. 16 October 2007: You got great advice, I'm just adding in here... I know a lot of male strippers (as well as females, but that's aside the point). First off, a lot - not all, but a lot - are gay.
Secondly, watching guys dancing around thrusting is not really s... (read in full...)
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