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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why is he so against using spermicide?
Q. Hey Aunts i have a question. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a long time and we are thinking about sex, (for my birthday). My birthday is in a few days and im really anxious because of the connection we share. But at the same time i have ...
A. 2 January 2008: Maybe he's not really clear on what spermicide is. He might just be a little nervous because it sounds a little scarier than it actually is. Mostly, people know about two options for birth control: the pill and the condom. He might just not have all ... (read in full...)
What makes a good relationship?
Q. I am kinda curious of what makes a good relationship? We all know Trust and communication but there has to be more layers than this? does anyone Know ...
A. 30 December 2007: Being able to listen to each other, laugh with each other, respect each other, learn together...
Also, I think something that is important is to be adventurous together. It keeps the relationship filled with energy and keeps it refreshe... (read in full...)
I have a lump bigger than a grape in my vagina and I'm really scared, what could it be?
Q. im so scared and i have tried to research this but don't know what is wrong with me, can somebody please help!! My vagina has been swolen and sore for the past week or so, and i got green thick discharge the other day too. I thought i had a ...
A. 29 December 2007: Hey sweetness,
Go to a doctor a.s.a.p. there is no need to be scared, you just need to see a professional or your problem could get much, much worse. In your case, the sooner you get to a doctor, the better. Please go immediately!!!
Good lu... (read in full...)
How do I keep a New Year's resolution?
Q. I know this isnt a sex etc related question but if possible can i have sum advice. Im planning to do the old new years resolution thing, and i was wondering if any1 has actually managed to keep theres, because i hear of everyone saying thet will...
A. 28 December 2007: Kenny is right on. It's all in your mind. YOU are the only one who can make it happen, YOU are the one who has to stick to your plan. I suggest, if you're trying to get into a more healthy lifestyle, find someone who wants to do it as well (and I'm ... (read in full...)
I normally shave all the time, but my new boyfriend touched me there and may have felt my pubic hair. Should I feel embarassed?
Q. I normally shave all the time, but my new boyfriend touched my down there and I think he felt my pubes. I'm so humiliated and I think he is going to tell kids at school. What should I do?...
A. 28 December 2007: He's got pubes, everyone has pubes. If he thinks it's funny or whatever to have a little pube action, then he's clearly an idiot. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Hair is the most natural thing ever, and a little bit is awesome.
NO WORRIES!... (read in full...)
I am looking forward to college parties. Is there a best place at parties to have sex with a random guy you have just met?
Q. I will be in college soon. I look forward to college parties. I hear they are hot. Let's say while I am at a college party I find a cute guy. We can touch, kiss, and make out at the parties. What if we want to have sex at one of the parties? At the ...
A. 27 December 2007: Are you trying to get yourself an STD? College parties, meeting some random guy for sex... not a great idea! The best room for random sex, I don't know... where ever there aren't any people? Find some empty space and get it on.
I hope you come pre... (read in full...)
To girls: Do you prefer a shaved chest or hairy chest? Shaved pubic hair or just trimmed?
Q. What do you girls like more, a Shaved chest or one with hair? And same question about pubic hair: Shaved completely or just trimed? ...
A. 27 December 2007: Hey there,
Everyone is so different. I liked smooth chests until I met my current boyfriend of two and a half years... he's got hair on his chest and I love it!! I feel like I'm finally dating a MAN and not a teenage boy. Now I look at kids wit... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a non-sexual relationship?
Q. I really need someone out there to help me this important decision of my life.....I am 35 years old and has been trying very very hard to go after a guy of 43 years old for the past 2 years. He is a successful businessman, financially stable, ...
A. 27 December 2007: Why wait around for this guy? He can't offer you anything physical, and he's clearly not giving you enough (if ANYTHING) emotionally. So far, it seems that he has only given you a Gucci wallet.
If he has Erectile Dysfunction, it can be helped w... (read in full...)
My ex text to say Merry Christmas, does this mean she is still interested?
Q. I haven't really been in touch w/ my ex gf, in the last 6 mos..however, recently, we've been running into each other alot.....so, today, she sent me a text out of the blue wishing me a merry x-mas...question: why? i know why, but why? i wouldn't ...
A. 26 December 2007: I think she is being nice - sending you a kind wish. She may have sent the same message to everyone - it's hard to tell whether people are sending in bulk or not. I know I sent a "Merry Christmas" message to everyone in my phone.
Don't read too... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't want children, but I do. Should we stay together?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 21 years old and we have been dating for about a year now. We fell in love quickly and have casually discussed marrying once we both finish school, but are both aware it is not in the immediate future. We agree on most ...
A. 26 December 2007: Don't hope that his feelings will change - will yours? I doubt it. Some people want children, some people don't - I'm sure if you devote your life to him and end up never having children, you will feel a big hole in your life, a major void. However, ... (read in full...)
His ex text him saying she missed him on Christmas Dayt, they've been split up for a year, what does it mean?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and he broke up with his ex a year and 3 months ago. She never really accepted that he moved on, and even up until 2 months ago she was causing upset in our relationship. I've just seen a text on h...
A. 26 December 2007: Thank you for explaining the identical phones. No, I don't think you're a scheming girlfriend!
I sincerely believe that your boyfriend is to be trusted if he's never given you a reason not to. The ex girlfriend? Aren't they a pain?? Perhaps ... (read in full...)
Is my gf trying to tell me something by only initiating sex when she knows I'm likely to say no?
Q. My girlfriend only ever seems to REALLY want sex on the day when it's most uncomfortable for me. I do pretty intense phsiotherapy once a week and afterwards I drive straight to pick my kids up from their schools. By the time I get home I'm really ...
A. 22 December 2007: It might be because she doesn't actually want to have sex with you. I admit, I think I'm sort of the same way. Sometimes I want my man MOST when the last thing on his mind is sex. I don't know, maybe the thrill of the chase? Suddenly, in the split ... (read in full...)
I know that bras and suspenders are sex for guys... but what can guys do for girls that are equally sexy??
Q. What do girls like..lik I kno a girl in a sex thong or booty shorts with a matching bra is sexy for any girl...but wat can I do 4 my girlfriend..and I'm not talking about a man thong or anything lol...wat do girls think is sexy that guys can ...
A. 21 December 2007: A nice clean shaven look, throw on a little (key word: little - too many guys overdose!!) cologne and put on a nice pair of underwear. There are lots of fancy underwear places to pick up a sweet pair of underroos.
Cleanliness is Numero Uno on M... (read in full...)
My step brother and I are having sex! what should I do?
Q. im Annabelle and im 14. about 3 nights ago my brother (jayden) and i were home alone and he got me drunk. i remember him getting into bed with me. jayden is 16. he started touching me and then kissing me, but because stupidly i was drunk i kissed ...
A. 20 December 2007: Definitely dump Jesse, because what you're doing to him is NOT FAIR in the least. If he knew what you were doing on the side, he would freak out and be hurt to no end. Do him a favor and break up with him. As for your step-brother, he is taking ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to my best friend, or wait for that special man to come into my life?
Q. My best guy friend and I are both 16 and have been friends for almost two years now.These past 5 months or so we have been very touchy feely,we've done everything except for sex.We are both virgins,and he always plays around saying that some day ...
A. 20 December 2007: Hey doll,
It sounds like he's attached to you in that friends-with-benefits-but-nothing-more kind of way. That's a bummer because you don't really get anything great out of it - you don't get a boyfriend, because he doesn't want to commit, ... (read in full...)
Does Dr Pepper lower sperm count?
Q. My friend hurd a roumer that Dr.Pepper lowers sperm count? is this true?...
A. 20 December 2007: Ahhh, young rumors. Back in my day it was Mountain Dew that killed off sperm. No, Dr. Pepper doesn't lower your sperm count - it's soda and it's unhealthy for you because of all the empty calories, but it won't lower your sperm count.
Just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets messages from sex sites, but denies being a member, says they are random. Is he lying??
Q. My boyfriend gets these instant messages from sex sites, stating "hey I liked your profile, if you want to see my webcam pics you can contact me at...." He says they are just random junk mail that everyone gets. I've got a yahoo account and I ...
A. 20 December 2007: I believe him. I get that crap all the TIME in my mailbox. I hate it!! Why do I get it, I don't know, but there it is. All the time. GAH!!
I'd let this one go, but that's just me.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India... (read in full...)
13. He strokes my hair and flirts with me. Does he like me?
Q. I'm 13 years old, I'm a girl, and one time the boy that flirts with me stroked my hair. do you think he likes me?...
A. 17 December 2007: I definitely think he does! Any boy who is touching - no, "stroking" - your hair probably likes you a little bit!! If he is flirting, it is a sure thing.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India... (read in full...)
Messed up big time, and I may be pregnant now! Please help!
Q. hi........i need help,big time..im 16 years old living in greece but im english,got a boyfriend for 1 year.hes 17 and finishing school now.he really cares about me and i really care about him to i am in-love with him,anyway we made love one night ...
A. 17 December 2007: YES. you can still go get the morning after pill. You have to take it within 72 hours, but it works best the sooner you get it. GO TO THE STORE. GET THE PILL.
You're at risk right now for pregnancy. Unless you want to take your chances, go take ... (read in full...)
What should I be doing after I have given him an orgasm?
Q. ok... so your young and you are performing things (such as handjobs or oral) with a partner for fun not as foreplay. so you finish giving a handjob, he has come, what next? do you kiss or just stop or should you carry on even if he has ejaculate...
A. 16 December 2007: In my experience, after a guy ejaculates, he's usually pretty sensitive down there and sometimes added stimulation can be TOO much, almost painful. So when he's cum, you should slow wayyyy down... give him kisses, keep him teased and in the mood, ... (read in full...)
My mom got me a new bra, but the girls in my class frown upon it! I don't want to hurt my mom's feelings, what shall I do?
Q. Is it OK to wear blck bras? My mum got me one the other day while I was at shcool, but girls in my class really frown upon it. I don't want to hurt my mum's feelings, that's all....
A. 16 December 2007: You have to wear a bra, who cares what color it is??? And why do your girlfriends care so much about what you have under your shirt? Black bras are sensible, everyone needs a black bra and a nude bra and a fun colored bra.
I know you're young an... (read in full...)
Query on female anatomy
Q. I am very confused and need some help. Does every girl have a clitoris and clitoral hood? Or is it possible to not be able to see them? thanks...
A. 13 December 2007: Every single woman has the same machinery (unless there is really a disfigurement or some oddity of the body). So 99.99% of the time there will be a clitoris and a hood...
Yes, some can be hard to find. All though we all have the same body par... (read in full...)
My bf never calls me by my name. I find this strange.
Q. hi everyboby,i have a problem me and my boyfriend have been together for little over a year,the problem is he haven't said my name yet.this is very strange and driving me crazy.every time i ask him.he gives me some stupid answer.i dont know what to ...
A. 13 December 2007: Wow, I spelled my own name wrong. See how difficult names can be?!??
xx India... (read in full...)
My bf never calls me by my name. I find this strange.
Q. hi everyboby,i have a problem me and my boyfriend have been together for little over a year,the problem is he haven't said my name yet.this is very strange and driving me crazy.every time i ask him.he gives me some stupid answer.i dont know what to ...
A. 13 December 2007: Does he have a nickname for you? When he introduces you, does he use your name? Does he use your name when on the phone with someone? Or does he really just avoid saying your name all together?? Have you honestly NEVER heard him say it? Maybe he's ... (read in full...)
He's a two-faced hypocrite. How do I deal with it?
Q. I don't know whether my bf is bad or if its all my fault. I am 18 years old, my bf and i have been together for 7 months. At first our relationship was great, i felt so happy...but things have changed now... My bf says that if I leave him, kno...
A. 11 December 2007: Deal with it by ditching him. He treats you like crap, he doesn't treat you with respect or compassion. This guy is a major creep. Please do yourself a favor and dump him... find a guy who can communicate without yelling and calling names and ... (read in full...)
My wife says I'm oversexed and I say she is undersexed, what would you say?
Q. Hi I need sex at least once a day. My wife of 12 years is quite happy if we have sex once a month. When we do its great. She suffers from a low sex drive. It seems like its heriditry. Could her being on the pill cause this ? She says all h...
A. 11 December 2007: Well, after twelve years I'd say both of you are on the extreme end of things. Can't you find a nice middle ground, a nice compromise? Say... have sex three days a week - but she gets to pick the day. Three times a week, that's a lot of sex!
I'm s... (read in full...)
My husband of 7 years asked me to put my finger in his butt during sex... Does that make him gay?
Q. My husband of 7 years ask for me to put a finger in his butt when i go down on him and his favorite position is doggy style does this make him gay?????...
A. 11 December 2007: Hey there,
This doesn't make your boyfriend gay in the least! This makes him a hole lot of fun and maybe a little kinky, but that's all good right? Sex can be adventurous and wild... have a little fun.
For men, in the bum is where the prostate... (read in full...)
I'm not sur if my boobs are rite help!
Q. Hi i have 2 questions. 1 is that my one of my boobs is smaller than the other, i dont always notice it but sometimes there seems to be a big difference and i get rly paranoid that boys, if they look, mite c a difference to. and numba 2 is that i ...
A. 10 December 2007: You are so normal, it's crazy. All breasts are completely different. I work at Victoria's Secret (I used to work with strippers), so trust me - I know boobs!! You are no different from everyone else. Lots of people have different sized breasts, and ... (read in full...)
I try to help my family but I feel I'm on the verge of loosing my mind. How do I cope with being the good daughter and keep my sanity?
Q. I'm 24 years old and I am still living at home with my parents, which is crazy in itself. My sister has been anorexic for 4 years now and for the first 3 years, I stayed living at home thinking I may possibly be able to reach out to my sister. I...
A. 9 December 2007: Hey there,
It sounds like you definitely need to get out of the house. I'm not saying you need to ditch your family and drop them out of your life... I'm saying, you don't have to live there. Become an independent woman and start taking some con... (read in full...)
Can a pregnancy test be wrong?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and my friend are convinced im pregnant. my period is now over 3 weeks late. after the first week, they annoyed me enough to do a test, which i only did to prove them wrong...an i did. but its now been 3 weeks since my period was due ...
A. 9 December 2007: Hey sweetness,
Definitely take another test. When my friend because pregnant, the first three tests she took were wrong! Eventually she had to go take a blood test at the doctors, and then it came up as positive - she was pregnant.
You may... (read in full...)
What is my next step after she said she needed a pause? Could it be because she's unemployed, living with parents, confused about her goals?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over a year now. I love her and she says she loves me and I believe her. Our biggest problem is she keeps going with her friend on these work trips she gets. It keeps her away from me alot. Evertime she does this I ...
A. 9 December 2007: Well, you sound a little possessive. It could be pushing her away. I suggest you give her the time she wants and if she does come back to you, you need to make a promise that you're going to chill out a bit. Both of you need time apart to be able to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to think the person you're with is lovely and shouldn't change, but you don't want to be with them any more?
Q. I have posted previously here but would love a new perspective on this so I can move on. I was seeing my girl for just 2 1/2 months after we met on an internet dating site. We prob went too fast too quick, slept together v.early, met eachothe...
A. 9 December 2007: Hi sweetness,
It's totally possible. My last boyfriend, he was great. I loved him to death! I seriously would've married the kid, however the feelings just weren't there. It was really frustrating not having any chemistry with the person I cared ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I'm ready for sex?
Q. I've been with my bf for 7 months. We have been great friends all throughout our school lives so we have been totally comfortable with each other. When i came back of holiday with a friend he pushed me down onto the sofa and we were kissing very ...
A. 9 December 2007: Hey sweetness,
What you're experiencing is sexual feelings in your body. Your body is responding to excitement. This doesn't mean that you're emotionally ready for sex, but it does mean that you're physically ready. When you are starting to get a... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I am a virgin before we have sex or simply don't mention it?
Q. I have been going out with a guy recently but it is the first proper relationship I have been in. Therefore, I am still a Virgin. When the time comes, is it a good thing to tell the guy you are a Virgin before you have sex or should I just leave ...
A. 9 December 2007: Definitely tell him. He needs to know that you are giving him the best gift ever, He will be patient, kind, and extra attentive to your needs.
Tell him, girlfriend!
Hope your first time is special...
xxIndia... (read in full...)
He thinks I don't trust him.
Q. i recently asked amother question about my boyfriend being a rent boy , you see the thing is that ive been reading his texts and he now knows that i have and he thinks i dont trust him what do i do ???...
A. 8 December 2007: Not sure what a "rent boy" is, but I think if you want him to think that you trust him, stop reading his texts! It does show that you don't trust him. If you want to read them, ask, at least.
Good luck, sweetness..
xxIndia... (read in full...)
My ex keeps trying to be my friend but she broke my heart...what do I do??
Q. What am I suppose to do? My ex just can't seem to leave me alone! She broke up with me almost 6 months ago after she decided our long distance (240 miles) relationship was too much to bear with. We were together for 2 years. Over the past 6 months, ...
A. 8 December 2007: Hey there,
It sounds like maybe she just discovered you on Facebook and wanted to add you. If she starts MESSAGING you, then I'd ignore her and just delete those messages. If you want her out of your life, ignore them. I wouldn't message her by a... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I have done anything wrong...so why should I apologise??
Q. I was seeing this guy on and off for 3 years. It ended badly with me never wanting to see him again. He kept trying to start things up again and I gave in about 3 months ago. Things were great, we have been dating and having a great time. I finall...
A. 8 December 2007: okay, sister. Been there. This is going to be a long reply, and for that - I am sorry.
I know that with me and my boyfriend, I'm the type who wants to talk out our problems as soon as an issue arises. So I'm sort of like you, I want to talk, I ... (read in full...)
I just want to be a better girlfriend....any ideas?
Q. I need help. I am 18. I have trust issues i think. My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years now and we love each other so much and all the rest, we are with each other all the time. Around about the 1 year mark, i just changed. After we...
A. 8 December 2007: Hey there,
Here's what I think needs to happen. I think you need to get out more - get those friends back! You and your boyfriend love each other, right? That means that even when you're doing your own thing and hanging out with your own friends,... (read in full...)
I don't want to be known for grass.
Q. My ex finished with me for someone else a month ago and has hurt me so much. I cant describe how it feels but my whole life has turned upside down. I love him so much and cant stop myself. The thing is, in the last few months of our relationship he ...
A. 8 December 2007: Hey there,
I don't think that you should tell on him just to ruin his life and get sweet revenge. However, drug dealers are never good... maybe you could give an anonymous tip to the police, but if you do, do it because drug dealing is a crime an... (read in full...)
I feel like I want to break up after I proposed.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for nearly 2 1/2 years now and everything was great, couldnt ask for anything more so i decided to ask her to marry me (im 21), she said yes. My problem is that since i proposed about 1yr ago ive been feeling ...
A. 7 December 2007: Don't marry someone because you feel bad. Don't marry someone because you feel like you can't get out of it and because you're worried you'll hurt her. What'll hurt more is a few years down the road when you can't take it any more and ask for a ... (read in full...)
What do you want, or look for in a relationship?
Q. For all you girls and guys out there what do you want or look for in a relationship?...
A. 6 December 2007: I want someone who can be my best friend AND a great boyfriend. I want someone who can make me laugh and smile, who kisses me sweetly and who hugs me tightly. I want someone who I can have fun with in the bedroom - someone who I can make love to and ... (read in full...)
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