A
female
age
51-59,
*eejuliet
writes: I am taking a poll. I would like to know what people think to gauge what is 'normal' This is mostly for the women, but men can chime in, too, if they have something pertinent to say. I am one of those women who just doesnt cum by intercouse alone. I need direct, concentrated clitoral stimulation. But for me, when I have sex, an orgasm is just not all that important. It is nice, but not neccessary. For me, an orgasm without intercourse just seems dissatisfying and inadequate. While passionate intercourse with my partner, even though I dont cum, is extremely satisfying. I would like to know how other women feel. Do you need to cum? Do you cum often? Usually? Hardly ever? Are you happy and satisfied even when you dont? Which is more important to you ~penetration or orgasm? I would really like to know how women feel about sex and orgasm.thanks!dee
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Great question. In my experience, the act of penetration has a psychological effect on the couple that mutal orgasms do not have.
Even as a man, if I had to choose for myself, the importence of penetration for the psychological effects are more powerful than the orgasm itself.
This is not saying that orgasms do not have their importance...they are very important. It is just that, when balencing them through this question...the penetration just solifies a relationship, that mutal orgams without penetration simply can not compete with.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Hi hun, great question!
Depends entirely on my mood at the time! Sometimes i want the full sexual experience orgasm and penertration, others i just want to make love to my man regardless of orgasm, sometimes just being intimate with the person you love is all you need.
Im very lucky my man seems to get the most pleasure from pleasing me either orally or through penetration, he seems to know what i need and when.
If the intamacy is there not orgasming isnt the end of the world in my opinion. x
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 I like the idea of "poll" type questions. Well done. I was thinking of doing something like this myself on different subjects.
As for your topic, I think direct feedback from the females is likely to be more reliable.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Hey darlin',
Well, I'm one of those girls that has a hard time reaching the big "o", so usually I'm happier to just skip all that added effort and just enjoy the sex! I don't need to have a grand finale, I am happy and satisfied with just the penetration!
There's my two cents!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Well, I'm not too ashamed to say that I've had quite a number of sexual partners. I've encountered various reactions from one end of the spectrum to the other.
For example, at the lower end there's the female who doesn't cum at all but is quite happy about that, but on the other hand there's the woman that doesn't cum and rolls over in a bad temper because she didn't.
Towards the other end there's the woman that cums from plain penetration and yet another that needs her clit stimulated too. and both are happy whichever way it works out.
At the very far end there's the woman that had orgasms just through having her nipples nibbled, which I found rather weird but one hell of an ego boost for me! She assured me she wasn't faking it when I showed not a little surprise. The same woman upon penetrative sex would turn into an absolute wildcat who would have multiples and draw blood across my back. She said orgasm was the ultimate and couldn't do without it, although she never failed to have one with me. Fortunately the scars healed over time.
Everyone is different if my experience is anything to go by. That being so, what is normal for one is totally abnormal for another.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Well thank you for the male invitation. I think it's important to make the girl orgasm at least a couple of times before intercourse, I don't know for sure (i never really asked) it seems to make the orgasm during intercourse more explosive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): I have a need to cum. I can come with my bloke inside of me, and it takes practice, which we have plenty of. I love sex and it keep me young! I like to come also with oral sex which my husband is a professional at and also with his hands. But for me, the setting need to be right, and the mood. It is no good if we are tired or just had a right night with these two lads of ours (my son and his son).
take care and enjoy every moment of your partner.
xx
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