A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiI've just turned 21, and basically, I HATE love.The only girl I've ever loved for over 2 years left me to go to university. My friends have told me to move on, but the thought of moving on really hurts. I wanted the only girl I've ever loved to be the ONLY girl I'd ever love, and yet, she clearly doesn't want the same thing. I'm not sure she really knows what she wants.What can I do? If I can't have her, it seems like I simply can't have anyone. Please advise.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xemily06x +, writes (20 October 2007):
I know its what everyone says...but time does heal all.
Keep your chin up and be strong :)
xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): I know its hard, but you really need to move on. When I say move on, I don't mean going out and finding someone else, because you're clearly not ready for it at this stage. These following ideas may sound harsh, but they helped me when I my ex left.
If you haven't already you need to surround yourself with friends and/or family, the people who love you unconditionally! Try new things like sport or ther stuff you've alwasy wanted to do. Occupying yourself with other stuff will distract you from thinking about her.
If it doesn't hurt to much, slowly start putting away things that remind you of her, don't get rid of them though. Changing the furniture around in your room will also prevent you lying in bed at night thinking about the times she used to be lying next to you.
Trust me it works! sitting round thinking about a relationship that's broken when you're the one that was dumped is the worse thing you can do. I ended up on pills. Lol, but you don't need that!)
Whilst you're spending your time trying to find answers about what to do, what's she doing? Off doing her own thing no doubt! If she cares she will come back to you, but in the man time don't let this impact upon your life.
I hope this helps, you will move on eventually, when that will be I can't say, everyone is different! if you remember one thing from this email, make it "you should never rely on other peple to make you happy, happiness comes from within!".
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Ahhh, first loves.
First off, you need to get a life. Now, I don't mean this in a mean way, I mean that you need to start involving yourself in things. Are you going to school right now? Do you do extracurricular activities? Sign up for an art class, take piano lessons, get involving in community theatre (be it acting or maybe tech crew). Do you have a job?
The art to getting over a girl is to distract yourself for awhile. Let your mind think about other things.. .the more time you stay dwelling on your girl, the longer the pain will last.
I assure you that your first love only trains you and gets you prepared for your one TRUE love. She'll be out there, and you'll find her, and when you do it will be incredible and amazing.
The girl who went off to university, you ought to be happy for her. She's bettering her life with education and she's trying to make a success of herself. Support her, be happy for her, yadda yadda yadda.
It'll take a bit of time, but soon you'll be on your feet again. Don't worry, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): If you can't have her, then what other option do you have but to move on? And there is no way to "painlessly" move on. Are you in college? Are you working? Maybe if you were in college, you'd meet someone else comparable to your ex..There's not much advice except for, try to keep busy, talk about your feelings to family & friends, remove things around you that remind you of her, don't contact her, etc..which I am sure you've heard before. remeber time heals all wounds. And things could be a lot worse. You could be in Iraq fighting a war & get mutilated or killed.
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A
male
reader, blazee +, writes (19 October 2007):
 hi, um chances are this is your first love.. yh stating the obvious but everyone feels like this with there first love.. everyone. you will move on, you just need to focus on something else, someoneelse. try talking to new people, dont become boxed up, not moving on with your life, and not metting new people. chances are that special one is out there somewhere. and if she really cared about you she wouldnt have left you.
you can do better, remember hardly anyone gets with there first love.
good luck
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