A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing this guy i really like. There was this story going round that he fingerd my friend before we were seeing each other. Because of the fact I am 13 and he is 15 I am worried that he wants to have sex but I am not ready. He keeps on putting his hands on my bum but through my trousers and i get worried on what he is going to do.I keep on movng his hands, he is fine with everything he said he will go at my pace. I will let him touch my boobs or whatever but i am worried that this will not keep him happy and he will leave me.What shall I say to him as I really like him.Please help!Please remember he did say its okay, he will go at my pace!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, inkspell101  +, writes (8 May 2010):
i think that you should think to yourself, "do i really want this?"
i made the biggest mistake this year letting and older guy i was going out with see my boobs, i was the school slut for a long time.... it was horrible and before you let anyone older than you take advantage and touch you, you should think of the consiquences, i know i wished i had someone to tell this before i did anything stupid
i know he says he will go at your pace but.... hes a guy and if there is a rumor i wouldnt trust him
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Love is Feelings which generate from your heart.Besides if he loves you he should not do this but understand your true identity.Sex is illegal in my religion and sex happens after marriage.I Think u should talk to him and tell him that i am not that type of girl which is lusty for sex and if he understands this than he is a true lover.
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Set your boundaries now.
If he respects them you know he's worth your time, if he doesn't then can him now.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Stop worrying about making him "happy". He should simply be happy being with YOU and enjoying your company. Having fun, maybe some kissing - that's all you should be worried about. A guy who truly loves you will WANT to wait until you're old enough to really appreciate and enjoy sex. You have the rest of your life to have sex and deal with all the worries that brings (do you really want to worry about pregnancy, STD's, birth control, infections?).
You can never go back to just simply enjoying kissing after you've had sex.
Just have fun with your life and your boyfriend. Tell him that you're not ready and you're not interested in a relationship if it only revolves around sex.
Good luck, sweetness!!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, LovingThatMoment +, writes (25 October 2007):
 well .. im 13 too.
def had this problem.
i wnt out with a 15 year old once .. actually only like 2 months ago and he was talking to me about how he was tierd of being a virgin and i said.. well i dont think m ready yet.. and he said lets try it first and i said okay.. not thinking of what would happen after we did it.. i went to his house.. we got ready and he started to kiss me and un button my shirt i said.. wait im not ready.. i cant do it and he said sure you are .. you can almost KNOW what he did next.. just cuz hes a guy and all he pushed me lightly to his bed and jumped on me and he mad eme do everything with him.. I REGRET IT. we didnt have sex tho.. he understood that i wasnt ready.
if your boyfriend understands that.. then relax.
3 anissa
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A
female
reader, FeelingLikeADumbAss +, writes (25 October 2007):
Don't be in a rush to have sex. Once you go there, there is no going back to holding hands. If you do decide to have sex protect yourself with a condom. I have a 16 year old niece that is pregnant. If he won't wait then dump him he's not worth it.
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A
female
reader, blueeyedbabe +, writes (25 October 2007):
I really wouldnt worry about it. I would just make it very clear that your not ready for a serious sexual relationship. Remember that your only 13 and it is illegal to have a sexual relationship at your age. If he has said that he will go at your pace then he sounds alright, just make sure that he sticks to his word.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Stop worrying about what keep him happy! You are under age for a start and should not be having sex. If you tell him you dont want this then he should be happy with that. If he does things against your wishes then report him and get away from him now. No one has the right to do things to you without your consent. Please be careful and respectful of your body, you are still only young. Keep these precious moments until you are old enough and developed in your mind and body. Your first time should be special and with someone you really want to be with and love.
take care
xx
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