A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since i have been little me and my 2 best friends have always been a group of 3, we were always inseparable and everything we did would be together.i guess 3 is a tricky number butwe always got over it and no one got left out, if they did it never seem to be me.anyway recently they have both come out as lesbians and have both said how much they love each other. i feel really left out and am not sure what to do. they are now always going out just them 2 and things like sleepovers are always really akward.any advice please help x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): When I was your age I was in a group of three, it's a tricky number anyway and someone ussualy gets left out sometimes. But now two are seeing each other? I would hate that! that must be such a blow to you. Anyway I know its easier said than done, you should really expand your freindship group, try hanging with diffrent people or stay with them but outside go out with them sepretaly and try not too go on alot of sleep overs anymore! support their relationship, tell them the truth that you feel left out.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Oooh, very awkward situation. I don't envy you.
What I wouldn't do is attend sleepovers with them. That seems SUPER weird. You'll feel very "third wheel", and you'll feel super left out.
I'd spend more time with them as individuals and when you do all hang out together, do fun, active things. Go shopping, go eating... go places where they won't have time to act like a "couple". I know that I feel weird when I'm out with a friend and her significant other and I feel left out... especially when we go to the movies and they're making out and I'm just sitting there.
Accept their relationship, congratulate them... try not to get in the middle of anything (any kind of drama) that might happen. Be happy for your friends, they have found each other!!
I also think it'd be a good idea if you expanded your circle of friends. Then you'll have others to hang out with when your friends are focusing on each other and their relationship.
Good luck, sweetness! Tricky situation.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, Checkup Man +, writes (24 October 2007):
 I think most of us go through a little phase around that age when we feel attracted towards our own sex, but nothing too serious. I know I did. The fact that they've left you out in the cold could give you the opportunity to branch out and do new things with OTHER people of your own age! What interests do you have, and would like to develop and widen further? There must be groups around which would welcome you to join them! Meanwhile, when your two 'friends' have moved on from their lesbian phase they may miss your company again, but in the meantime, at least, look after your own happiness and new companionships that will shortly be coming your way! Who knows, you may not even want the other 2 back again! With Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Tricky situation! You cannot help how they feel about each other and try not to feel rejected as their feelings for each other are different from your friendship feelings. They are experiencing first love and probably would be pre-occupied with each other more than interested in friendships at that time anyway. There is no guarantee this is going to work out between them as teenage romance often has a short shelf-life. Either way you just have to sit back and wait it out. It maybe that your 3 some friendship is coming to an end as you all start to grow up and want different things. If they split up then there maybe an awkwardness between them and they may wish to see you individually as a friend in the future. Maybe it is time to look around for other potential mates.
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