A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend (of 4 yrs) went to a club where there were male strippers for ladies night. she asked me about 10 times before she went if it was okay, and because she was celebrating a special occasion with a girlfriend of hers that was moving away, I said yes. She said she wouldn't go if I wasn't okay with it and I didn't want her to miss out so that is why I said it was fine. She called me while she was there to see if I was ok, I said that I was.I've never been to a stripper and I have never even been curious about them because I've seen plenty of women in the media plus my gorgeous girlfriend that I know what a naked female looks like at this point and I just don't feel the need to... my friends go and it just sounds sleazy and dirty and not much fun to be honest. If I want a lapdance I get one from my girlfriend and she's damn good at it plus I get to sleep with her after as a bonus.So that's not the issue. The issue is that I am just worried that those men were hotter than me or that she was watching them thinking that she'd like to have sex with them and that maybe I can't stack up to their physiques. She said that it was more funny than sexy and that she and her friends were laughing the whole time... and that she didn't find them sexy, that they were just ridiculous. She also says she never wants to go again because it was mostly uncomfortable.I don't know if she is lying... we have had a few fights about it and I know I am in the wrong because I gave her permission to go and I know her... she would have not gone if I had said I was uncomfortable with it but I feel I put my foot in my mouth with this one. It's making our relationship miserable and she has apologized and reassured me a thousand times but I don't know how to get over it.I talked to her friends and they all said that the strippers were gross and horrifying, not sexy at all. I don't buy it... my male friends LOVE female strippers, why would girls not like male strippers?? Isn't it just the same thing? I am worried that I will ruin my relationship because of my jealousy over this one night of fun she had.
View related questions:
jealous, lapdance, stripper Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): dont worry about it man strip clubs are meant to be fun it dosent mean u want to have sex with all of them. Just rember who she came back to after that and stop being jealous.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 As a women myself i cant stand male strippers its just so cheesy and funny men are diffrent then women they love seeing naked women the more the merrier (ok most guys) but women are diffrent i dont find male strippers a turn on i think its just fun, you love your girlfriend and she loves you dont let a girly night out having a giggle ruin something special, if you talk to her friends and they told you they were gross then believe them and her, just because your male friends love seeing strippers doesnt mean the girls do, infact i dont know anyone who finds male strippers even the slightest bit of a turn on, if you love her trust her dont ruin your relationship over this.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 October 2007):
 You got great advice, I'm just adding in here... I know a lot of male strippers (as well as females, but that's aside the point). First off, a lot - not all, but a lot - are gay.
Secondly, watching guys dancing around thrusting is not really sexy... it's really more funny, like your girlfriend said. Guys are just not meant to be sensual. They look so awkward.
No, you probably don't stack up to their physique, just like your girlfriend might not have the hot body of a female stripper. Just remember that these guys all look so fake and stupid dancing around in their little bitty outfits... they look ridiculous.
Your girlfriend is just happy to come home to you after some good laughs at the strip club. Believe me, the experience of a male strip club is MUCH MUCH different than that of a female strip club.
I'm straight as they come and I'd much prefer to watch female strippers. They're way sexier. Men don't know what they're doing.
Don't worry, darling.
xxIndia
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Your girl is fantastic love her keep her. trust her that she was laughing. Women are attracted by how you make them feel not how you look. If your look enhances good time and is pleasing tht's just extra. And also take in care that aesthetic is individual. For me, for example cindy crawford looks like shit, angelina jolly is ugly big time but renaisance art women are so hot! see?
Think it this way: you see girls genitals you are horney! Girls cant see their genitals.When you have sex you like to look at her tits and ass, and ask her what she likes. I bet its your face, smell of your skin and how it feels to touch you. it turns them on the way you walk and talk and if it's naturaly confident. It doesn't seem to me those posers are natural :) Also they are much more focused on themselves when it comes to sex. we are focused on their pleasure because we enevitably come.I found out that is why they don't see sex so dirty as we do, and not explicit as we do.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): In all probability you won't stack up to their physiques unless you spend three hours a day working out, and you probably don't have as much packed away in your underpants - but if you think about it logically that's why they got the job!
I totally agree with everything the others have said. You're beating yourself up over nothing and the chances are that with all this fuss you're creating, your girlfriend won't ever consult you on anything ever again.
I suggest you apologise to her most profusely, buy her a bunch of flowers and treat her to an expensive, romantic candle-lit meal out somewhere nice in an attempt to make amends.
Phil
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Why do you care whether they were physically hotter than you, would your friends go and see an ugly fat female strippers?
You dont have anything to worry about, when people go and see someone strip they dont sit there thinking how much we want them.
Men are very different to women, they dont get the sense of awkwardness that women do when men are exposing all to them, also men might sit there wanting and lusting over the strippers but I can assure you women dont.
And from my experience male strippers are nothing that great anyway, I have been a few times and find that I sink into my seat and avoid eye contact when they are wondering past, they make you feel embarrassed but I did have a great laugh and Im sure that your girlfriend had a laugh too but thought nothing else of it.
I also expect that she never thought it would affect her relationship the way it has been. I dont think she should have had to ask permission to go but I do understand why as I would always run going somewhere like that past my partner too.
Dont let it cause problems between you. Its the most ridiculous reason to argue out there. Please get over it - lifes too short.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Yes - I would have been laughing too I think you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm sorry to say that unless you are emotionally involved with a guy his "meat and two veg" are precisely that. Either amusing or like one of the household chores. Now.....what am I going to cook for dinner tonight?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Hi,
I know your having a rough time over dealing with the stripper thing but seriously don't! I have seen many strippers from all over and they are so funny i have been to a least 15 strip nights and never come across a good looking stripper! plus i think there is absolutly nothing sexy about a ugly man parading round with a elastic band round his tackle. I think your g/f told you the truth so stop badgering her else you will just push her away.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Dude, dont take this the wrong way, but you are heading head first into losing what sounds like a lovely girl. And it would be ALL your fault.
You have trust issues, even though your girlfriend was upfront with you from the start and sought your permission. Its obvious you dont have any faith in the choices she makes.
This worries me for a start, why should she have to seek your permission: you dont own her.
If my wife wants to go perve at some naked men then what the hell do I care. I love my wife and we have a solid relationship so it would never enter my mind that she would break this faith i have in her. I trust her thats why. Moreover, she will be horny as hell when she returns and I will reap the benefits!.
You obviously dont trust your girlfriend which is a shame as your insecurities might just end up driving her away and into the arms of someone without the emotional baggage. Dude wise up, if you want to drive her away you are going about it the right way.
You sound very conservative, now there's nothing wrong with that, but in your case you are allowing your own inhibitions to dictate what your girlfriend can and cannot do. This is controlling behaviour.
You sound like a nice bloke but who is very insecure,you need to lighten up man.
Good luck, take a deep breath tell your girlfriend you love her and trust her and she can go out with her friends whenever she wants.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Don't worry about it!
#1 Strip clubs with male strippers are night and day different then clubs with female strippers
Men wan't to see women naked. We don't need fancy routines/costumes. In most strip clubs the women barely shuffle back and forth and pretty much just stand there naked.
Male strippers do wacky crap and pretty much cater to older woman who like that kind of thing
Finally: There are two kinds of male strippers. The kind who openly admit to being gay and the kind of lie about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 October 2007):
 She's not lying. It's not worth fighting over. Girls go see this entertainment because of having a girls night out. that is one place their safe from their boyfriends joining them. Boys go see women strippers because we generally think with the toddler in our pants.
They may have seen it as being gross. Women strippers don't have to do all the oil downs or have muscles sticking out that most of us don't know we had. All women strippers have to have is parts most guys are extremely attracted to exposed. When a guy is talking to a women who's boobs are partially exposed, it's difficult not to glance, being a male. When a women talks to a guy, they don't stare at his crotch while talking with them.
Many guys also will jump into bed with a girl because opportunity just happens to be present. Many women have to have an emotional attachment or detachment to do so.
You're looking at this from a guys point of view, and how we view women. You need to look at it from your girls side and realize they don't view us in the same manner we view them.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): hi,
Female strippers are totally different from male strippers! believe her when she tells you they were laughing! For a woman, a large part of sexual attraction has to do with the person, we don't have the same lust response to a stripper that a man does. For me I know that the whole situation is so unnatural that I can't be attracted to the guy, even if I think the guy is aesthetically pleasing, I'm still not attracted to him, and would never prefer him or his body to a man who loved me.
Don't worry. She wants you.
...............................
|
