A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Was dating a guy and we got on famously, walks, meals, fun nights out together and we really clicked. We fancied each other quite a lot and then after a few weeks made arrangements to sleep together. Anyway I've always found that when I sleep with someone the first time it's not always the best. a. because I'm nervous or a little selfconscious etc.It takes me a few more times before I can become 100 % comfortable with that person and of course the fun part is learning about what we both enjoy together in between the sheets. Well we slept together and within 2 days he texted me and said 'It's not you it's me, you don't do it for me in the bedroom'. I was obviously dumbfounded as I thought it went well and really upset that he could say this to me by text which I found incredibly hurtful. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself and so did I at the time. So even though we were getting on famously, what do you think made him change? He insisted from the start that it was a relationship he was after, so if that was the case, surely we could've discussed his problems? We're in our late forties by the way....I'm really disappointed and feeling totally rejected.....
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 What. A. Jerk.
You seem to still be feeling a little warm and fuzzy towards him? Why didn't you use more words like "evil bastard" and "no good player" in your question? This man is just a douche bag with a brain in his penis and no where else. Why even bother with this guy?? What he did is tacless, callous and UNBELIEVEABLE.
Any guy who treats you like this is not worth the time of day. A relationship does not come down to sex, and if it did for him - he's a sad, sad, sad man.
I'm sure you're fine in the bedroom. He's probably just looking for some slutty girl who puts out like a wildcat in the bedroom. What you have to offer is something better, something longterm, something intimate and something intense.
If you're interested in meaningless sex, quickies in truck stop bathrooms, drunken booty calls, then this guy is for you.
FORGET ABOUT HIM.
(ugh, I feel so bad for you, this guy is such a creep.)
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): There's no other way to say it - he's an insensitive asshole!
I strongly suspect the fun was in the chase and you were just another notch on the bedpost.
I think you have to put this one down to experience and forget the comments about not doing it for him in the bedroom. You 'did it for him' at the time, didn't you? He was right in saying it was him and not you. He's a total piece of shit, you're not!
Phil
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hello.I do not want to hurt your feeling, it seems that you have dated a man who has no feeling for any one but himself, his only plan to make you believe that he was a genuine person, so that he could get sexual gratification from you and do what he eventually did, not face to face but by text, every time some one uses the line it not you its me, always mean one of a few things, I cant see you any more because my wife wont let me , i am trying it on with another woman, or i am such a useless plank i cant be honest with any one, i just like sleeping around.please do not feel bad, you more than likely did everything right, you are NOT to blame for this person, he is a person who lures unsuspecting nice people like you to sleep with them, and then moves on to other pray, What a lucky escape you have had he could have been taking advantage of you for years, count yourself lucky your the one of got away from this person, i hope you will not be put off men because of this event, we are not all bad guys.Good luck
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A
male
reader, g man  +, writes (30 October 2007):
He sweet talked you. He just wanted sex,and he is not a good man.Forget him.
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hmmm... maybe he met someone else and just doesn't want to tell you...? Actually, the first thing that popped into my mind when I read that was that maybe he was just using you to get you into bed, and that now he's done that, he doesn't want you anymore... Some guys are like that, although that's mostly teenage guys... I've never heard of any adult guys doing that, so that probably isn't the case. I guess there are any number of possibilities of why he would just change so suddenly like that - maybe he's discovered that he's got some kind of incurable disease and/or needs to go to hospital for a long period of time and doesn't want to get into a serious relationship with you because you'd just end up getting hurt... I spose there are 2 main ways of looking at this: either he was using you, he's trying to protect you.Sorry for my lack of optimism!! I'm sure he's a good guy really, and is looking out for your interests as well as his own...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Sounds like he makes promises by the hour.
He lied to you, he wanted you just for sex not relationship.
There are no guarantees in this world except death
You can't avoid pain, you did your best.
Get up and try again there is nothing wrong with you, he's just a shit with no integrity.
Forget him he's no good.
Good luck
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